WalMart sucks. I hate WalMart. Even more now than before.
But on one of my trips in search of the KISS Sonic Boom CD, I did have the following hilarious encounter.
Extremely large woman (loveseat sized) was riding one of the electric carts. Not an old lady, just an enormously large one. She'd managed to make her way back toward the electronics section in the back of the store and had gotten stuck in the middle of the aisle. Eventually an elderly Wal Mart employee came over to assist her.
Woman: This cart won't go forward, it only go backwards.
WalMart Employee: Here, let me take a look. Okay, you see when you mash this button it turns the cart off, the other button is the forward/reverse switch.
Woman: What? Like this? (Cart stalls because she turns it off by mashing the wrong button)
Employee: (Reaching out toward the cart) No ma'am, if you touch this button...
Woman: (slapping at his hands) Don't be messing with it, I told you it was broke! She stabs at the on/off button again and the cart that was beeping backward dies again.
Employee: Please, stop. When you do that, you're turning it off. You can't mash that button...
Woman: Don't tell me how to drive no cart! I been driving these carts since before you even worked at the Wal Mart. Now I want a new one.
Employee: Yes ma'am. But we don't have any carts in this section. You'll have to go back up to the front and get another one.
Woman: Now you listen to me! I am NOT going to walk all the way up to the front of the store. I can't get all the way back there.
Employee: Well, ma'am, you walked your fat ass in from the parking lot and I'm not about to carry you...
And he walked away.
I scream-laughed. I hustled three aisles over to keep from cawing laughter in her face. When I got under control, I looked around the corner. She was still in the middle of the aisle, jamming her finger at the same button. Backing up and then dying.