Tuberville/Petrino/Auburn Administration - What's the Story

[GenNormanSwinekopf]

Since it's Arkansas week, I thought I would ask you Auburn fans to give me a run down of exactly what happened with the Auburn Administration and booster(s) pursuing Petrino while he was at Louisville.  I don't always trust the accounts in the sports media because they usually don't report all aspects of a story like this.  Not only do I want to hear the full account from those in the know, but also get your take on Petrino's culpability, if any.

[Townhallsavoy]

You see, Tuberville liked blowjobs, and he didn't want anyone talking to him during oral sex.  But he often took way too long to blow his load.  Lowder was once really excited about giving him blowjobs, but eventually, his jaw was too damn sore to keep it up.  He wanted Tuberville to get it done quicker. 

Lowder decided to do some brainstorming.  He remembered that Petrino HATED blowjobs.  He liked handjobs, and he could carry on a conversation while getting one.  Petrino always seemed genuinely interested in what Lowder had to say when they conversed, AND he was able to blow his load rather quickly. 

So, Lowder asked Housel to go to Louisville right before Thanksgiving and ask Petrino if he wanted a handjob.  If Petrino thought Lowder and Housel could give a good enough handjob, maybe he would want to become the coach at Auburn. 

Problem was, Tuberville realized his dick didn't get sucked the Tuesday before the Iron Bowl - just like every other Tuesday. So Tuberville called Finebaum and a few other media guys to ask about the whereabouts of Lowder and Co.  After some investigative journalism, people caught Lowder with Petrino's cock in hand, and the secret was exposed. 

Petrino didn't care because he got his.  Tuberville, however, never received a blowjob again.  But Lowder did get screwed in the ass. 

**Note - About 3/4 of the way through this, I found myself feeling dirty and immoral.  But I had to finish.  I just had to.

[Lurking Tiger]

...**Note - About 3/4 of the way through this, I found myself feeling dirty and immoral.  But I had to finish.  I just had to.

Strange, I feel the same way when some chick is sucking my dick.

[bottomfeeder]

 

[Snaggletiger]

Since it's Arkansas week, I thought I would ask you Auburn fans to give me a run down of exactly what happened with the Auburn Administration and booster(s) pursuing Petrino while he was at Louisville.  I don't always trust the accounts in the sports media because they usually don't report all aspects of a story like this.  Not only do I want to hear the full account from those in the know, but also get your take on Petrino's culpability, if any.

Bottom line is 2003 was supposed to be a big year.  All the pieces in place.  However, instead of going out and hiring a legit OC to replace Petrino, Tuberville decided to keep it in house and let Hugh Nall (O-line corch) and Steve Ensminger (Something corch) be co-offensive coordinators.  The season started with a much anticipated matchup with USC, which resulted in a painfully embarrassing shutout loss.  The next game was an equally putrid showing at GT.  The season didn't get much better from there until they ended strong with a win against Bama.

In the meantime, some of the power brokers had made up their minds that Tubs was not the man for the job and they needed the new hot commodity in college football, Bobby Petrino.  Made sense being that CBP had just left Auburn and was familiar with everything and everyone.  They tried to handle things behind the scenes and negotiate with Petrino to secure his commitment to Auburn before ousting Tommy. 

Problem was two-fold.  While there was a faction of people who wanted a change, word got out that CTT was in trouble.  An emotional win against the biggest rival placed the fanbase firmly behind Tuberville. Second, word got out about the clandestine plane trip to Louisville and the majority of Auburn fans, who had long been disillusioned with the Trustees behind all this, rallied behind Corch Tooberville and turned on those in command at Auburn.  It cost more than a few their lofty positions.     

[ibelonginprison]

It was just as shady as the sports media made it seem.  Unfortunately.

[GenNormanSwinekopf]

You see, Tuberville liked blowjobs, and he didn't want anyone talking to him during oral sex.  But he often took way too long to blow his load.  Lowder was once really excited about giving him blowjobs, but eventually, his jaw was too damn sore to keep it up.  He wanted Tuberville to get it done quicker. 

Lowder decided to do some brainstorming.  He remembered that Petrino HATED blowjobs.  He liked handjobs, and he could carry on a conversation while getting one.  Petrino always seemed genuinely interested in what Lowder had to say when they conversed, AND he was able to blow his load rather quickly. 

So, Lowder asked Housel to go to Louisville right before Thanksgiving and ask Petrino if he wanted a handjob.  If Petrino thought Lowder and Housel could give a good enough handjob, maybe he would want to become the coach at Auburn. 

Problem was, Tuberville realized his tool didn't get sucked the Tuesday before the Iron Bowl - just like every other Tuesday. So Tuberville called Finebaum and a few other media guys to ask about the whereabouts of Lowder and Co.  After some investigative journalism, people caught Lowder with Petrino's cock in hand, and the secret was exposed. 

Petrino didn't care because he got his.  Tuberville, however, never received a blowjob again.  But Lowder did get screwed in the ass. 

**Note - About 3/4 of the way through this, I found myself feeling dirty and immoral.  But I had to finish.  I just had to.

Appreciate the info.  But next time you post a story about blowjobs and handjobs, at least include ONE non-male...even if she has no bearing on the story.

[GenNormanSwinekopf]

Bottom line is 2003 was supposed to be a big year.  All the pieces in place.  However, instead of going out and hiring a legit OC to replace Petrino, Tuberville decided to keep it in house and let Hugh Nall (O-line corch) and Steve Ensminger (Something corch) be co-offensive coordinators.  The season started with a much anticipated matchup with USC, which resulted in a painfully embarrassing shutout loss.  The next game was an equally putrid showing at GT.  The season didn't get much better from there until they ended strong with a win against Bama.

In the meantime, some of the power brokers had made up their minds that Tubs was not the man for the job and they needed the new hot commodity in college football, Bobby Petrino.  Made sense being that CBP had just left Auburn and was familiar with everything and everyone.  They tried to handle things behind the scenes and negotiate with Petrino to secure his commitment to Auburn before ousting Tommy.  

Problem was two-fold.  While there was a faction of people who wanted a change, word got out that CTT was in trouble.  An emotional win against the biggest rival placed the fanbase firmly behind Tuberville. Second, word got out about the clandestine plane trip to Louisville and the majority of Auburn fans, who had long been disillusioned with the Trustees behind all this, rallied behind Corch Tooberville and turned on those in command at Auburn.  It cost more than a few their lofty positions.    

I can understand this.

On the other hand, Nutt was canned after beating eventual champion LSU at Baton Rouge in 2007 with the "got dat wood" boys.  Tommy >>>>>>>>>> Houston.