Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

A post for Jumbo...

Tiger Wench

  • ******
  • 10352
  • Does this armour make my ass look big?
A post for Jumbo...
« on: October 05, 2009, 10:43:04 PM »
A word of advice from an ER doc - DON'T fist this!!!

http://erstories.net/?p=453

Quote
I have many posts under the heading “Bad Idea” - because often it is a bad idea that results in an ER visit (”But Doc, it didn’t really seem like that bad of an idea at the time!!”). However, this is one is just bad in pretty much every way. Now, I am not one to judge other’s sexual preferences. Gay, Straight, fetishes, it is pretty much to each his own in my opinion (except for paedophilia, violence, and other illegal stuff). Still, I guess one can go to far (like THIS, or THIS), and this is one such a case. At about midnight on a weeknight, a “normal appearing” (if there is such a thing) woman walked into the ER in business attire. Well put together, clean looking, probably professional and wealthy. Anyway, my PA went to go see her and came out in shock. He told me the woman complaining of some rectal bleeding after anal sex. Not that big a deal usually - but it distresses people I guess. It is usually self limited and mild. This however, my PA said was much worse. He said her whole posterior was black and blue and could not even tell what was going on. So I went in to have a look myself.

First, it is interesting to note that this woman was like Jekyll and Hyde. You could draw a line at her neck and above it would be “business” (professional looking hair and makeup, no piercings, etc) but below that line was “pleasure” (pierced nipples and clitoral hood, as well as a tattoo that pretty much surrounded her vulva). One look at her anus and I asked her “This was not a penis that did this, were you fisting or putting something else up there?”. She said yes, she was indeed fisting about 24 hours before. I have never seen such a horror show down there (except maybe in THIS case but that was not self inflicted!). Her anus was indecipherable. The entire thing was massively rendered open with tears extending into each buttock (hence the black and blue that my PA described). Where the anus used to be was just clot. She then went on to describe “doing a little too much coke” and getting “a little too drunk” with her boyfriend (she was married by the way so God knows what sort or relationship they had!) who then got a little too aggressive with his fist in her anus. BAD IDEA. I told her she was going to need to be admitted and would need major surgery to reconstruct this damage. She looked at me somewhat nonchalantly and said “Yeah, I kinda figured”! Goes to show, that person in the office who looks so stuffy that they “have a pole up their ass” may actually have one there!

friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44623
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2009, 11:05:50 PM »
Hey, come on people.  It happens.  A little too much coke...a little too much drinking..2 fingers leads to 3...then the "I dare you..." comes into play.  No biggee.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Tiger Wench

  • ******
  • 10352
  • Does this armour make my ass look big?
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2009, 11:10:35 PM »
Hey, come on people.  It happens.  A little too much coke...a little too much drinking..2 fingers leads to 3...then the "I dare you..." comes into play.  No biggee.
Sounds like it's a "biggee" now...
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44623
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2009, 11:12:44 PM »
Sounds like it's a "biggee" now...


Nothing a couple...dozen stitches won't cure.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUsweetheart

  • ***
  • 1407
  • 13....LOL
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2009, 11:17:58 PM »
Hey, come on people.  It happens.  A little too much coke...a little too much drinking..2 fingers leads to 3...then the "I dare you..." comes into play.  No biggee.
Probably just a day or two recovery time.
Anyone seen AWK lately?  Haven't seen him in a day or two.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
A national championship is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44623
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2009, 11:27:55 PM »
Probably just a day or two recovery time.
Anyone seen AWK lately?  Haven't seen him in a day or two.

Did fisting someone's ass remind you of Taylor?
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUsweetheart

  • ***
  • 1407
  • 13....LOL
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2009, 11:45:31 PM »
Did fisting someone's ass remind you of Taylor?

Can't get anything past you, Birdman.

I know you two have a special relationship.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
A national championship is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.

AWK

  • Caller of the "Taint"
  • ***
  • 8190
  • Damn Right.
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2009, 02:00:31 AM »
I'm here and I'm que... fuck you guys.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Jumbo

  • Assistant Pledge Master
  • ***
  • 10862
  • I live on the corner of Epic & Bananas.
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2009, 03:02:26 AM »
I'm sorry Taylor, you didn't say the safe word.....
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44623
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2009, 09:37:20 AM »
I'm sorry Taylor, you didn't say the safe word.....

Oklahoma
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22899
  • Bofa
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2009, 10:27:20 AM »
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

  • Pledge Master
  • ****
  • 21656
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2009, 10:33:07 AM »
Mooooooooooooooooooon River

One B. B-A-B-A-R.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22899
  • Bofa
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #12 on: October 06, 2009, 11:14:30 AM »
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

  • Pledge Master
  • ****
  • 21656
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2009, 11:16:05 AM »
That's two.

Yeah, but not right next to each other.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22899
  • Bofa
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2009, 11:38:31 AM »
Yeah, but not right next to each other.
Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

  • Pledge Master
  • ****
  • 21656
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2009, 11:40:31 AM »
Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?

I don't know. I don't have any.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AUChizad

  • Female Pledge Trainer
  • ***
  • 19523
  • Auburn Basketball Hits Everything
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2009, 12:05:41 PM »
A word of advice from an ER doc - DON'T fist this!!!

http://erstories.net/?p=453


Your erotic writing has gotten better...
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44623
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #17 on: October 06, 2009, 12:07:10 PM »
Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?

Yes, but it has 2 R's
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22899
  • Bofa
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #18 on: October 06, 2009, 12:18:32 PM »
I don't know. I don't have any.

Kids?
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

  • Pledge Master
  • ****
  • 21656
Re: A post for Jumbo...
« Reply #19 on: October 06, 2009, 01:29:51 PM »
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."