You see, Tuberville liked blowjobs, and he didn't want anyone talking to him during oral sex. But he often took way too long to blow his load. Lowder was once really excited about giving him blowjobs, but eventually, his jaw was too damn sore to keep it up. He wanted Tuberville to get it done quicker.
Lowder decided to do some brainstorming. He remembered that Petrino HATED blowjobs. He liked handjobs, and he could carry on a conversation while getting one. Petrino always seemed genuinely interested in what Lowder had to say when they conversed, AND he was able to blow his load rather quickly.
So, Lowder asked Housel to go to Louisville right before Thanksgiving and ask Petrino if he wanted a handjob. If Petrino thought Lowder and Housel could give a good enough handjob, maybe he would want to become the coach at Auburn.
Problem was, Tuberville realized his dick didn't get sucked the Tuesday before the Iron Bowl - just like every other Tuesday. So Tuberville called Finebaum and a few other media guys to ask about the whereabouts of Lowder and Co. After some investigative journalism, people caught Lowder with Petrino's cock in hand, and the secret was exposed.
Petrino didn't care because he got his. Tuberville, however, never received a blowjob again. But Lowder did get screwed in the ass.
**Note - About 3/4 of the way through this, I found myself feeling dirty and immoral. But I had to finish. I just had to.