The real government in Iran (the mad mullahs as TigerWench and others pointed out) hate us primarily because of our support of Israel. This is true for practically every Islamic country in the Middle-East (not to mention other parts of the world). It does not matter what The ONE says or doesn't say. They will always hate us and blame us for everything because of this support. We do buy their oil and that fact makes for a uneasy truce but I think that's the only thing that does (as Birdman pointed out).
The people of Iran are ethnically different from the Arabs in the Middle-East which makes them more inclined towards democracy because of their pre-Islam civilization and traditions rather than the Arabs who are still very culturally tribal and backward due, in part, because of the Religion of Pieces as I see it which has never been reformed from it's medieval practices (unlike Christianity, for example, which went through a reformation and modernization for lack of better terms). The ONE was partially correct in pointing out in his speech in Cairo that some of the great advances of civilization started in Persia (Iran) with these people but that was before Islam dragged their society back to the Stone Age (which The ONE did not point out).
There's really not much that we can do to bring about a lasting democracy to any country in the Middle-East until the followers of the Religion of Pieces leave their old religious practices behind and reform it and the backward cultural practices that it causes. There's a good chance that the Iranian people can make this happen but they are the ones that have to do it.
Realistically, the US has bought about a democratic change for Iraq and Afghanistan but the cost was heavy (and exacerbated by the media/Democrats due to their political hatred of W). The question remains as to whether either democracy will succeed there without our presence. It is possible. Turkey is a good example but were it not for the modernization bought about there internally by Ataturk that nation would probably be just as backward as the rest of the Arab countries.
The real issue beyond a fundamental reformation as I see it is Nuclear Arms. The US and our allies have got to keep this kind of power out of the hands of these backward, medieval, mad mullahs along with the power-crazed Arabs. Maybe solving that problem should be left to Israel? The only other way I think to solve that is to make it personal for the mad mullahs and Arab leaders as we did with Qaddafi. He readily disarmed when he knew that his personal life was at the stake. We have to take this approach because we have no leverage with this folk other than our need for their oil and their willingness to sell it to us for products/services/money that they need. And, while our military is exemplary, we simply can't force democratic change over the entire Middle-East (especially with the socialists bankrupting what's left of our government with their pet schemes and social engineering).
As to North Korea we've squandered away what leverage we did have with that little, pot-bellied tyrant by not putting intense pressure on the Chi-comms to solve the Nuclear issue there. Now that he has nukes and missiles to put them on he basically has started a new, regional Cold War. If he was insane enough to use them I think that he would have already done so (as someone implied about the mad mullahs who are crazed enough) but he's having too much 'fun' trying to sell them to the mad mullahs, Chavez, and anybody else he can find who hates the US.
It's a bad situation all around.