« on: May 19, 2009, 01:42:28 PM »
I read this on IMAO and thought it was mildly amusing:
Know Thy Enemy: Nancy Pelosi
Posted by Frank J. on May 19, 2009 at 1:07 pm
With Nancy Pelosi in the news so much lately, I though people might want to know more about her. Thus, I sent my crack research staff to find out all they could about her. Get ready to update Wikipedia!
FUN FACTS ABOUT NANCY PELOSI
* Nancy Pelosi had to exploit her connections in government to get approval to build her gingerbread house.
* Despite her appearance and that she’s from San Francisco, reportedly Pelosi is not an old tranny.
* If the pressure used to stretch back Pelosi’s face were ever released, it could take out a city block.
* Every time Pelosi lies, her face stretches tighter.
* Pelosi’s favorite food is the tears of crying children.
* Humans have a natural, untaught fear of snakes, spiders, and Pelosi’s smiling visage.
* Nancy Pelosi was the inspiration for the Cloverfield monster.
* As an official in San Francisco, Pelosi personally took away Dirty Harry’s badge on four separate occasions.
* Common Pelosi rebuttal in political debates: “I’ll suck out your life juices!”
* Pelosi’s tramp stamp is the Chinese symbol for “dessicated.”
* If Pelosi looks at you and bares her teeth (”smiles”), that means she is about to attack. Shield face and groin.
* Pelosi’s iPod is filled with nothing but the sounds kittens make when they’re strangled.
* Contrary to popular rumors, Pelosi will not melt when she comes in contact with water. But she will multiply.
* Instead of Nana or Grammy, Pelosi’s nickname from her grandchildren is “Proof there is no God.”
* In a fight between Nancy Pelosi and Aquaman, Pelosi would claim Aquaman never told her that he planned to submerge his enemies in water.
* Pelosi has hired the Jim Henson Creature Shop to give her a wider range of facial expressions.
* Pelosi doesn’t shake hands and kiss babies because she tends to frighten people when she exclaims, “Mmm… fresh baby!”
* Currently, in San Francisco the phrase “The San Francisco Treat” refers to a bag over Pelosi’s head.
Link:
http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/05/know-thy-enemy-nancy-pelosi/
Logged
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.
-Ayn Rand
The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.
-The Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher
The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
-Ronald Reagan
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson