Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[The Six]

Five Nights at Freddy's

Never played the games, but I remember the Showbiz/Chuck E. Cheese era of life so I thought this could be fun or, at least, amusing. It's neither. Caught somewhere in limbo between wanting to be a true-crime story and PG-13 nostalgia spooky, this movie excels at neither. Instead, the dull, morose, plodding story was like trying to watch paint dry high on Nyquil.

[War Damn Six]

watch paint dry high on Nyquil.

You just described my weekend plans.

[Kaos]

Five Nights at Freddy's

Really didn't get this movie.

There was a Banana Splits movie several years ago where the animatronic Fleegle, Drooper, Snorky, and Bingo came to murderous life. 

That movie was bad. It knew it was bad. It leaned into the bad. That made it kinda good.

This movie didn't know it was bad. That made it worse. 

Josh Hutcherson is a terrible actor.  So, unfortunately, is Shaggy from Scooby Doo.  Those two drained any hope this film had to connect its flimsy, ridiculous story in any entertaining manner.

I didnt get the movie. Didn't care about any of the characters and other than a miniscule dose of musical nostalgia, got nothing out of it.

Watch Banana Splits instead.   

[Kaos]

Cop Land

Watched the Stallone documentary and saw him lament that Cop Land wasn't a major hit.  He couldn't understand how it missed. I'd never watched it and because AI can read our minds it popped up today on "Movies I Might Like." 

When I saw the cast, I was thinking the same as Stallone... how could this have possibly misfired.   

DeNiro
Stallone
Harvey Keitel
Ray Liotta
Catherine Moriarity
John (West Wing) Spencer
John (The Wire) Doman

And half the cast of The Sopranos:
Carmela (wasted in two brief scenes)
Paulie Walnuts (cameo in newsprint)
Artie Bucco (basically an extra)
Phil Leotardo (wasted in a throwaway scene)
Carlo Gervasi
Gloria Trillo
Beansie
and
Davey Scatino (aka Terminator, Robert Patrick)

How could that possibly go wrong? 

It did. There were so many storylines it to cram into a single entry, it did none of them justice.  Partially deaf Stallone mooning over a girl he saved from drowning for one. 

The tone was all wrong, the score was all wrong. Stallone moping dumbly through the entire film was all wrong.  None of it registered or felt like it had any authenticity.

There was a good story (or three) buried in the mismanaged layers of this movie.  None of them were effectively told.

[Kaos]

No Hard Feelings

"Romantic" comedy where Jennifer Lawrence is hired to bang a 19-year old nerd by his helicopter parents. 

Jennifer looks bad.  Not aging well, IMO. 

There were some relatively amusing moments and a couple of sorta sweet moments mixed in with some nudity and a little crudity. 

It wasn't bad. It wasn't good. It was just there. 

If you want to watch Jennifer Lawrence go Karate Kid while completely nude, this might be the movie for you. 

[War Damn Six]

No Hard Feelings
If you want to watch Jennifer Lawrence go Karate Kid while completely nude, this might be the movie for you.

I’m in.

[GH2001]

No Hard Feelings

"Romantic" comedy where Jennifer Lawrence is hired to bang a 19-year old nerd by his helicopter parents. 

Jennifer looks bad.  Not aging well, IMO. 

There were some relatively amusing moments and a couple of sorta sweet moments mixed in with some nudity and a little crudity. 

It wasn't bad. It wasn't good. It was just there. 

If you want to watch Jennifer Lawrence go Karate Kid while completely nude, this might be the movie for you.

Some of you are gay as hell and don't even know it.

And yes, because of that last assumption, this was the movie for me. BOINNNGGG.

[GH2001]

Five Nights at Freddy's
 other than a miniscule dose of musical nostalgia, got nothing out of it.
 

I hear...the secrets that you keep.....

[The Six]

Rewatched The Hunger Games last night (because the MNF game was a snoozer). Wow, what a boring movie. Had a lot to work with, world build, interesting characters, and at every turn, the movie chose the most boring route possible. It's like someone invites you to a nice steak dinner, order whatever you want. You go with hamburger steak, well-done, broccoli on the side, no salt, and room temperature tap water. This thing coasted by on the strength of the book's fans. If memory serves, movie #2 was a lot better.

[Kaos]

Don't Look Up

I avoided this movie for a long time because I seriously hate left-wing propaganda and I was sure this was full of it. 

It wasn't really.  You could pretend the idiot politicians were demoncrats with a little effort, just as you could assume they were Republicans if you wanted (clearly the intent, but never specifically spelled out). 

Basic premise:  Comet on its way to destroy the earth.  Scientists figure it out. Try to warn the world and come up with a plan to destroy or divert it. 

Breads and circuses regular citizens care more about pop culture. Politicians care only about how it impacts their electability.  Business only cares about how it could be monetized. Media only cares about how it impacts ratings.

It's a pretty spot on representation of how this idiotic world would likely react and respond. The thing it got wrong is the roles.  The right/conservatives (citizenry, not politicians) would take it seriously and try to cut through the lies - and probably be branded conspiracy theorists.  The left-leaning citizens would fall in sheepish line behind the lies of the political class.  The movie got that part of it backwards.  Completely backwards. 

The rest?  Pretty depressingly accurate I'm afraid. Were an extinction-level comet really coming, I could see things playing out pretty much like they did here.  It did really miss the global turn to faith I'd expect to see. Full churches, prayer vigils, etc.  What else would you expect from essentially Godless Hollywood?

It wasn't what you'd call an enjoyable movie and the final act was pretty grim.  People suck. Especially those in power.

[GH2001]

Rewatched The Hunger Games last night (because the MNF game was a snoozer). Wow, what a boring movie. Had a lot to work with, world build, interesting characters, and at every turn, the movie chose the most boring route possible. It's like someone invites you to a nice steak dinner, order whatever you want. You go with hamburger steak, well-done, broccoli on the side, no salt, and room temperature tap water. This thing coasted by on the strength of the book's fans. If memory serves, movie #2 was a lot better.

I don't care how much money it made......terrible choice for JLaw there. I hated her acting at that point.

[The Six]

I don't care how much money it made......terrible choice for JLaw there. I hated her acting at that point.

I put all of that on the first director. That was a lazy job. The next ones, she did stuff. Her best stuff though was Winter's Bone. That's a solid flick.

[GH2001]

I put all of that on the first director. That was a lazy job. The next ones, she did stuff. Her best stuff though was Winter's Bone. That's a solid flick.

I like her in non vapid/expressionless roles.

And ones with boobies.

[War Damn Six]

And ones with boobies.

You had me at hello.

[Kaos]

Pain Hustlers

A torn from the headlines story about a pharmaceutical company pushing doctors (by paying and seducing their egos) to prescribe their drugs. Emily Blunt, Chris Evans and Andy Garcia lead a cast of unknowns.

It's a disgusting business, apparently.  Corporate owners and reps driven by raw greed and a hurricane of available cash. Doctors whose medical decisions are driven not by patient needs, but by a desire to write prescriptions that provide kickbacks.

If the movie were better acted, more engaging, less bland?  It's something everybody should know - and consider when talking to their doctor.  Wonder WHY the doc is pushing medicines on you.  Is it because they get a cut of the prescription that's being forced on you 'for your own good?' 

Too bad this movie was completely flat. 

Blunt isn't great. In fact, she's kinda terrible. Starts off as a not-at-all convincing stripper with a half-black kid who overnight turns into a marketing genius pushing a drug that's apparently mostly fentanyl.

There was a series with Matthew Broderick (Painkillers) that dealt with a very similar situation - all the way down to the company owner's bizarre eccentricities - but handled it in a different matter.  Neither were truly effective in giving this practice and scandal the public awakening it needs.  This movie, in particular, missed more than it hit - largely because Blunt's performance was robotic and dead.

Watching this, and knowing that the current administration paid doctors to give the "vaccine" and also paid them to disavow treatments that were cheap and worked?  Kind of sickening, actually. 

[The Six]

From what I understand, this isn't a sequel. It's a remake AND a musical for the GenZ. Fey is heavily involved as are a few other original cast members. Interesting choice.

[Kaos]

From what I understand, this isn't a sequel. It's a remake AND a musical for the GenZ. Fey is heavily involved as are a few other original cast members. Interesting choice.

That's a no from me, dawg. 

But if we're transitioning from reviews to trailers here?  And I think that should be a separate topic, actually, but here are a few that I have some interest in seeing where they go.

[GH2001]

Pain Hustlers

A torn from the headlines story about a pharmaceutical company pushing doctors (by paying and seducing their egos) to prescribe their drugs. Emily Blunt, Chris Evans and Andy Garcia lead a cast of unknowns.

It's a disgusting business, apparently.  Corporate owners and reps driven by raw greed and a hurricane of available cash. Doctors whose medical decisions are driven not by patient needs, but by a desire to write prescriptions that provide kickbacks.

If the movie were better acted, more engaging, less bland?  It's something everybody should know - and consider when talking to their doctor.  Wonder WHY the doc is pushing medicines on you.  Is it because they get a cut of the prescription that's being forced on you 'for your own good?' 

Too bad this movie was completely flat. 

Blunt isn't great. In fact, she's kinda terrible. Starts off as a not-at-all convincing stripper with a half-black kid who overnight turns into a marketing genius pushing a drug that's apparently mostly fentanyl.

There was a series with Matthew Broderick (Painkillers) that dealt with a very similar situation - all the way down to the company owner's bizarre eccentricities - but handled it in a different matter.  Neither were truly effective in giving this practice and scandal the public awakening it needs.  This movie, in particular, missed more than it hit - largely because Blunt's performance was robotic and dead.

Watching this, and knowing that the current administration paid doctors to give the "vaccine" and also paid them to disavow treatments that were cheap and worked?  Kind of sickening, actually.

This is one of the stories that has hit Hollywood a lot recently, and also one of the few that isn't exaggerated very much. The story of big phrama and the racket they have, especially with Purdue and the opioid epidemic - is just plain sickening. Shows how much the govt (FDA and Justice Dept) are in bed with these sleezebags.

[AUJarhead]

Who is going to be playing the part that Heather Thomas played in Fall Guy?

[Kaos]

Who is going to be playing the part that Heather Thomas played in Fall Guy?

A black trangender midget.  Duh.