Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Kaos]

Wonder Woman

I didn't really want to go see this.  DC has screwed up so much with the two Superman duds, the spectacularly shitty Batman v. Superman and the colossally flubbed Suicide Squad that I really had no hope that anyone at Warner Brothers would have a clue how to craft an effective movie.  I'm a DC guy.  Batman is my boy.  Justice League (before the stupid as fuck WonderTwins and BatMite shit) was my jam.  It's true, I never cared much for Superman, but who did?  Watching what DC has done to those characters with this latest "universe" has pretty much made me physically ill.  So I went with resignation, near certain that I was about to be disappointed, disgusted and disillusioned.

Wrong. 

This was a really good movie primarily because they got the casting just right and the director had enough sense to let Gal Gadot dominate..  I've rarely seen any actor simply own the screen the way Gadot did.  She was absolutely mesmerizing.  Granted she's one of the most attractive things I've ever seen, but it was more than that.  She made the character and she made the movie.

I was a little concerned through the first third while they waded through the whole Amazon women on an island backstory.  But when she emerged in full Wonder Woman bloom in the middle of a war?  Fucking A.  One of the best "superhero rises" action sequences I've seen. 

Yes, it was DC so it was darker and more earnest and less flippant than the Marvel films.  DC heroes (even in the comics) doesn't have the same insouciance as an Iron Man or Spider Man.  They're more tortured, more reflective, more introspective.  All those things played against the Superman/Batman and Suicide Squad films that got bogged down in it and never slogged out of the mire. 

The story (even as silly as it was) was tighter here, more focused.  It could have used a touch more levity perhaps, but it tried here and there. 

There was stuff about WWI, some gas, some pilot, and even some Zac Snyderish fighting in the dark (thank God not the rain) but all of that was superfluous to simply watching Gadot do her Wonder Woman thing.  Watching her here it made me hate Batman v. Superman even more than I already did because she was so ill used. 

Solid movie, very enjoyable.  It was good enough that it gives me a slight glimmer of hope that they're not going to donkey fuck the Justice League film. 

[Ogre]

Wonder Woman
Granted she's one of the most attractive things I've ever seen, but it was more than that. 

Maybe it was the fact she looks like Raven Riley?

[Godfather]

Maybe it was the fact she looks like Raven Riley?

Gadot is hotter.

[Kaos]

Maybe it was the fact she looks like Raven Riley?

You're blasting my past... I haven't thought about Raven in years. 

[Godfather]

You're blasting my past... I haven't thought about Raven in years.

Dude has a mind like a steel trap now that he quit drinking. 

BTW has he told you about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

[Kaos]

Gadot is hotter.

No argument there. 

This just in... or maybe it was already in and I didn't find out about it until now.  Whatever. 

The guy who dragged down both Superman films and was almost single handedly responsible for the disaster that was Superman v. Batman is out of the picture for Justice League.

Zack Snyder (and his wife Deborah) are off the JL film after his daughter committed suicide.  That's an awful thing for them to deal with and I hate it for them both.  DC is bringing in Joss Whedon, though.  The guy who made the Avengers movie as good as it was.  Granted, Age of Ultron was a silly overstuffed mess, but still. 

So while I feel sorry for Zack, I'm greatly encouraged that Justice League will be a far, far better movie than it would have been with him there.  The fact that Whedon has ordered "massive reshoots" is another indicator that things will be better.  Now if he'll just fire Affleck.....

[Godfather]

I would like to request a review of this:

[wesfau2]

Wonder Woman

I didn't really want to go see this.  DC has screwed up so much with the two Superman duds, the spectacularly shitty Batman v. Superman and the colossally flubbed Suicide Squad that I really had no hope that anyone at Warner Brothers would have a clue how to craft an effective movie.  I'm a DC guy.  Batman is my boy.  Justice League (before the stupid as fuck WonderTwins and BatMite shit) was my jam.  It's true, I never cared much for Superman, but who did?  Watching what DC has done to those characters with this latest "universe" has pretty much made me physically ill.  So I went with resignation, near certain that I was about to be disappointed, disgusted and disillusioned.

Wrong. 

This was a really good movie primarily because they got the casting just right and the director had enough sense to let Gal Gadot dominate..  I've rarely seen any actor simply own the screen the way Gadot did.  She was absolutely mesmerizing.  Granted she's one of the most attractive things I've ever seen, but it was more than that.  She made the character and she made the movie.

I was a little concerned through the first third while they waded through the whole Amazon women on an island backstory.  But when she emerged in full Wonder Woman bloom in the middle of a war?  Fucking A.  One of the best "superhero rises" action sequences I've seen. 

Yes, it was DC so it was darker and more earnest and less flippant than the Marvel films.  DC heroes (even in the comics) doesn't have the same insouciance as an Iron Man or Spider Man.  They're more tortured, more reflective, more introspective.  All those things played against the Superman/Batman and Suicide Squad films that got bogged down in it and never slogged out of the mire. 

The story (even as silly as it was) was tighter here, more focused.  It could have used a touch more levity perhaps, but it tried here and there. 

There was stuff about WWI, some gas, some pilot, and even some Zac Snyderish fighting in the dark (thank God not the rain) but all of that was superfluous to simply watching Gadot do her Wonder Woman thing.  Watching her here it made me hate Batman v. Superman even more than I already did because she was so ill used. 

Solid movie, very enjoyable.  It was good enough that it gives me a slight glimmer of hope that they're not going to donkey fuck the Justice League film.

Saw this today and agree with this review totally.

[Kaos]

Back to Baywatch just a second. 

I did not make the connection that Alexandra Daddario was the owner of this spectacularly large pair of naked tits from the first season of True Detective. 

Please do not click on the following links unless you want to see unsheathed Daddario boobs. 
https://www.celebjihad.com/celeb-jihad/images/alexandra_daddario_nude_true_detective_corrected.jpg

http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/gallery/alexandra-daddario-nude-true-detective/alexandra-daddario-nude-true-detective-15.jpg

[GH2001]

Back to Baywatch just a second. 

I did not make the connection that Alexandra Daddario was the owner of this spectacularly large pair of naked tits from the first season of True Detective. 

Please do not click on the following links unless you want to see unsheathed Daddario boobs. 
https://www.celebjihad.com/celeb-jihad/images/alexandra_daddario_nude_true_detective_corrected.jpg

http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/gallery/alexandra-daddario-nude-true-detective/alexandra-daddario-nude-true-detective-15.jpg

I love her.


And I will hurt you if you attempt to take her from me.

[GH2001]

Pirates V

No sequel can ever recapture the unexpected brilliance of the first Pirates of the Caribbean film.  Some of the later installments were so misguided they came close to tarnishing the legacy of the franchise. 

This one falls somewhere in between.  Nowhere near the original but not as bad as the efforts that followed.

When the worst part of the film is the threadbare and tired portrayal of Jack Sparrow by a Johnny Depp who really appeared to be in it just for the money and delivered the bare minimum?  That says a lot. FWIW? Barbosa was pretty played out too.

Still the movie entertained. It was too long by a third. I'm tired of the spectral nature of the sea and would have preferred a more straightforward tale with less mysticism. But still. Not bad.

I hope it's the last one.

I pulled a garman, and nodded off in the theater off and on during the last 20-30 mins of this. Not because it was bad but because I had seen enough. You were dead on in the length assessment.

[wesfau2]

Power Rangers

The year was 1993 my first born was a curious and active three year old. Enter the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. For a couple of years she became Kimberly.  Every afternoon we would watch essentially the same show as the Rangers teamed up to battle the minions of Rita Repulsa, Goodar and eventually Lord Zed.  They'd fight putties.  Then a bigger monster would show up. They'd try to battle it for a while before figuring out they were better as a combined team.  Then they'd form megazord, kick some monster ass and save the day.  Go go power rangers.  My daughter's obsession with the show was such that she wore Kimberly gear to preschool, assigned ranger roles to her friends (one of whom she still calls Billy to this day) and proceeded to gang kick the shit out of other kids who had no idea they were goldar, Rita, Grumble, fang or a putty.  There was a broken arm -- hers from leaping off the top of some playground equipment so her pink ranger could help the red ranger tackle an unsuspecting lord zed -- a concussion, numerous scrapes and bruises and the dreaded parent conference. Still we watched.  And went to live shows. And the movie.

So it was with no small amount of nostalgia that she and I went to see the new Power Ranger movie.

It was okay.  It took the "cool kids become heroes" storyline and dirtied it up some.  No longer the good kids from angel grove the new Rangers were the fallen and the outcast.  They avoided the obvious stereotyping of the black ranger being black and the yellow ranger being Asian. But they also had to toss in an ambiguous lesbian reference which was unnecessary.

The film followed the same basic script as the tv show once it got the obligatory and lengthy backstory out of the way.  Fight putties. Fight solo. Team up. Save the day. 

Elizabeth Banks enjoyed herself as Rita. Fun to watch.  The new rangers didn't have quite the same easy chemistry as the tv version.  For fans of the series there were several nods to it including a sentimental recreation of part of the show's opening sequence and a cameo or two.

There was also a product placement so blatantly obvious and over the top that it was funny. 

There were a couple of crude references I could have done without.  Kimberly wasn't as good as the marvelous and lovely Amy Jo Johnson of the original and Bryan Cranston didn't add as much as I'd hoped as the digitized Zordon.

Worth watching for nostalgia's sake if your kid was ever a ranger or if you've got a 5-10 year old who wants to be one. Otherwise?  Nah.

Morbid curiosity got the best of me on this one.  I had no relationship with the source material and, frankly, had a jaundiced view of the story/concept based on some very limited exposure.

It was pretty atrocious and I was surprised that Cranston, Banks and Heder signed on.

[Godfather]

I love her.


And I will hurt you if you attempt to take her from me.

She is mine...back the fuck off or I will gut you.

[Kaos]

The Accountant

Better than I expected. 

Affleck is a problem.  Watching this movie I finally figured it out.  He's fine when he's playing grim and basically stoic.  When he's asked to generate anything that remotely resembles human emotion he simply cannot pull it off.  He can do stoic anger but not full-on rage.  He can do awkward stoic pain but cannot portray true angst or misery.  Anything resembling a romantic scene is painful to watch.  It's his stupid seamless face.  Emotion doesn't play there.  He has the dead eyes of a lizard.  He's best when he isn't really given that much to do. 

Thankfully he didn't really have to do much in this movie but act weird and it came very naturally to him. 

Pretty decent story, far less number crunching than I figured there would be.  I liked it more than I thought I would. 

Agree with a previous review that Shane from Walking Dead added a lot to the film.  That guy is really trying to make the acting thing work and he's been second or third banana in a lot of films.  Was pretty okay in this one.  Several people you'll know in this one including John Lithgow (the killer of Rita whom I now despise), Jean Smart, Anna Kendrick, Jeffrey Tambor,  Nazi Schillinger from Oz and Naevia from Spartacus. 

It's not something I'd watch again, but since it's about to come out on HBO (or Showtime, Starz or one of those...) it's worth the free look. 

[GH2001]

I asked K last week but I'll ask everyone in this thread too - anyone seen It Comes at Night yet?

I caught it while down in Florida last week. Hated it as soon as it ended. I thought it moved too too slow the first 90%. Then all hell breaks loose the last 15 mins. I hated it because I don't think I understood the point it was conveying at first. I went in with a traditional horror/thriller mindset. That was the problem. This one was outside the box in that there was no traditional bad guy or boogeyman. The enemy was mans own paranoia and imagination.

The longer time goes by the more I think I appreciate it. Although it wasn't without flaw. It did move too slow and there were a few plot holes. But by today's standard in that genre it was decent.

[Godfather]

I asked K last week but I'll ask everyone in this thread too - anyone seen It Comes at Night yet?

I caught it while down in Florida last week. Hated it as soon as it ended. I thought it moved too too slow the first 90%. Then all hell breaks loose the last 15 mins. I hated it because I don't think I understood the point it was conveying at first. I went in with a traditional horror/thriller mindset. That was the problem. This one was outside the box in that there was no traditional bad guy or boogeyman. The enemy was mans own paranoia and imagination.

The longer time goes by the more I think I appreciate it. Although it wasn't without flaw. It did move too slow and there were a few plot holes. But by today's standard in that genre it was decent.

I always come at night.

[GH2001]

I always come at night.

Not a fan of the nooner. Sani wept.

[The Six]

Does Ben Affleck fill any of Anna Kendrick's holes with his love muscle in The Accountant?

[GH2001]

Does Ben Affleck fill any of Anna Kendrick's holes with his love muscle in The Accountant?

I'd prefer Daddario but I see your point.

[Kaos]

Does Ben Affleck fill any of Anna Kendrick's holes with his love muscle in The Accountant?

This is a spoiler free zone.