Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Kaos · « **Reply #1980 on:** October 01, 2015, 03:38:56 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on October 01, 2015, 06:59:46 AM

Due Date

Might have been reviewed back on page 74. Don't recall. Never seen this 2010 flick but it came on last night. Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Gafalakinikalis...alafinis basically remake Planes, Trains & Automobiles. Exact same story line. Probably more what the sequel would be like. Downey Jr. plays Steve Martin's straight-laced character trying to get home to his wife without wallet or luggage. Gafalafa...err, Zach plays Candy, who is an aspiring actor on his way to Hollywood.

Snickers-a-plenty. A big waste of $$$ if you saw it in the theater. A smaller waste of $$$ of you rented it. Pretty entertaining if it comes on at 8:00 on a Wednesday night. Worth the watch there.

Official review on Page 26.
Other mentions on Page 22

Jumbo · « **Reply #1981 on:** October 02, 2015, 01:45:04 PM »

100 pages and going strong congrats K.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #1982 on:** October 02, 2015, 02:16:36 PM »

Quote from: Jumbo on October 02, 2015, 01:45:04 PM

100 pages and going strong congrats K.

No shit, dude be checking out the flicks.

Kaos · « **Reply #1983 on:** October 05, 2015, 11:16:54 AM »

The Green Inferno

Waited a long time to see this. Trailers first started popping up a couple of years ago.

Basic gist: Group of activists head off into the Peruvian jungle to save a village of rarely-seen natives from the evil corporate bulldozers. Plane crashes and the naive green-peacers get an up close and personal look at the cannibalistic villagers.

Expected tons of gore and grossness. Got a little of that.

Saw at the beginning that the special effects were headed up by Greg Nicotero -- familiar to Walking Dead fans as the SFX lead for that show. And it was pretty obvious. There were some clear WD parallels except the natives were the zombies. Same kind of visuals.

Hated all the activists fuckers except one. Wanted them all to die grisly deaths. One did. The rest were pretty anticlimactic. The one who needed to die most, didn't. Or did he? Who the fuck knows?

The story was lame, the ending was dumber than dogshit.

If I barely escape the clutches of a cannibal tribe? I'm going to want that place nuked off the fucking map.

I was really looking for a Hostel-like level of uncomfortability and this just didn't reach it.

Can't recommend.

Kaos · « **Reply #1984 on:** October 24, 2015, 10:33:47 AM »

Crimson Peak

Expected a horror movie. Got a few weird ghostly pop-ups most of which were in the previews.

The rest of the movie was horrible period outfits, terrible hairdos, dramatic music and knowing glances (leers) between the earnest cast.

The back story about some ridiculous attempt to mine crimson clay from under a sagging house added nothing to the film and actually caused it to drag out longer than it should.

The "shocker" wasn't really shocking at all given the long leers and assorted whispered comments.

I didn't hate it, but it was more puff than substance. More a chance for Jessica Chastain to give up on even trying a british accent while grumping around in heavy victorian garb, more a chance for Loki to smirk, and more a chance for Alice to crawl through a puffy shouldered rabbit hole.

The lead girl was so ugly it was hard to watch. She's a terrible actress and looking at her for that long made my eyes hurt. Her outfits with giant balls of shoulder material were off-putting and annoying. I hope to never see her in another movie again. She was atrocious.

The movie should have decided to be either the story of some swindling con artists trying to keep their family name alive or the story of a really ugly girl trapped in a house with ghosts and boogeys. It needed a more supernatural flair to work as horror. Would have been so much better if Loki or Chastain turned out to be vampires or dead or something. Or if the ghosts had never been part of the mix and it was a straight up story about a pair of sickos who charm people out of their fortunes. Trying to straddle the fence between worlds didn't work.

Godfather · « **Reply #1985 on:** October 28, 2015, 10:45:10 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on October 24, 2015, 10:33:47 AM

Crimson Peak

Expected a horror movie. Got a few weird ghostly pop-ups most of which were in the previews.

The rest of the movie was horrible period outfits, terrible hairdos, dramatic music and knowing glances (leers) between the earnest cast.

The back story about some ridiculous attempt to mine crimson clay from under a sagging house added nothing to the film and actually caused it to drag out longer than it should.

The "shocker" wasn't really shocking at all given the long leers and assorted whispered comments.

I didn't hate it, but it was more puff than substance. More a chance for Jessica Chastain to give up on even trying a british accent while grumping around in heavy victorian garb, more a chance for Loki to smirk, and more a chance for Alice to crawl through a puffy shouldered rabbit hole.

The lead girl was so ugly it was hard to watch. She's a terrible actress and looking at her for that long made my eyes hurt. Her outfits with giant balls of shoulder material were off-putting and annoying. I hope to never see her in another movie again. She was atrocious.

The movie should have decided to be either the story of some swindling con artists trying to keep their family name alive or the story of a really ugly girl trapped in a house with ghosts and boogeys. It needed a more supernatural flair to work as horror. Would have been so much better if Loki or Chastain turned out to be vampires or dead or something. Or if the ghosts had never been part of the mix and it was a straight up story about a pair of sickos who charm people out of their fortunes. Trying to straddle the fence between worlds didn't work.

Honestly you should have known it was going to suck by the title.

Kaos · « **Reply #1986 on:** November 06, 2015, 06:56:01 AM »

Vacation

I loathe Ed Helms. He was the absolute worst part of The Office. He nearly ruined We're The Millers. I hate to see him sing. Why should I have expected him to do anything but disgrace the Vacation franchise?

The original movies had a goofy sweetness that was mixed with some occasional weird vulgarity. This reboot was a mass of crude vulgarity mixed with a tiny dash of goofy sweetness that didn't ring close to true.

Dick jokes. Vagina jokes. Masturbation jokes. Rim job jokes. Glory hole jokes. None of that had a place in the Chevy Chase Vacation pantheon. That's all this film was.

I should have known to turn it off when the opening credits rolled over a song that said the word "motherfucker" about a dozen times and when the very first scene included a gag about giving oral sex to a child (as well as an f-bomb from the son of Tom Hanks).

By the time the movie had shitted, fucked, dicked, pussied, whored, and masturbated its way to a shockingly bad cameo from Chevy and Beverly all I had was contempt for this wrong-headed attempt to revive the franchise.

Everything that made the original Vacation movies classics was bastardized and smeared by a string of unnecessary profanity and vulgarity. It was a real shame and I'm sorry I saw it.

GH2001 · « **Reply #1987 on:** November 06, 2015, 09:57:24 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on November 06, 2015, 06:56:01 AM

Vacation

I loathe Ed Helms. He was the absolute worst part of The Office. He nearly ruined We're The Millers. I hate to see him sing. Why should I have expected him to do anything but disgrace the Vacation franchise?

The original movies had a goofy sweetness that was mixed with some occasional weird vulgarity. This reboot was a mass of crude vulgarity mixed with a tiny dash of goofy sweetness that didn't ring close to true.

Dick jokes. Vagina jokes. Masturbation jokes. Rim job jokes. Glory hole jokes. None of that had a place in the Chevy Chase Vacation pantheon. That's all this film was.

I should have known to turn it off when the opening credits rolled over a song that said the word "motherfucker" about a dozen times and when the very first scene included a gag about giving oral sex to a child (as well as an f-bomb from the son of Tom Hanks).

By the time the movie had shitted, fucked, dicked, pussied, whored, and masturbated its way to a shockingly bad cameo from Chevy and Beverly all I had was contempt for this wrong-headed attempt to revive the franchise.

Everything that made the original Vacation movies classics was bastardized and smeared by a string of unnecessary profanity and vulgarity. It was a real shame and I'm sorry I saw it.

All of this was my initial thought when I first saw the preview. And Im sad to see that I was right. The vacation franchise is sacred, much like Rocky or Back to the Future. Don't fuck with it. They fucked with it and badly. Shame on them. And the same is about to happen with Ghostbusters. At least Dumb and Dumber To was done about as well as a sequel to that movie could have been done. If Vacation was going to do a reboot, it should have been on the same story arc and cast. I could have went for a Christmas Vac 2 with the same premise.

And yes, Ed Helms is horrible.

Couple I have seen recently since you mention it:

Devils Due

Moderately attractive chick gets married, goes to the Domican Republic on her honeymoon with goofy dork of a husband who films everything because he likes to keep memories. They get lost and drunk in the DR, so a cab driver kindly takes them somewhere "fun" which ends up being a mistake. Long story short, chick gets knocked up while there. They come back home and while the pregnancy progresses, they realize that all aint up to snuff. Turns out chick has been knocked up by good ole lucifer himself. What a man whore satan is huh? That dog. Goes a little off the rails towards the end when the baby comes, and is somewhat anti-climatic. Whole film is done as a "found footage" movie since dumbass recorded EVERYTHING. And the movie also starts with nerdy hubs in the police dept trying to explain away what happened in the present day. So the whole movie is also a flashback of what leads up to that point. Moral of the story, dont get drunk in the DR and let shady cab drivers take you to strange places, or you may end up getting screwed by lucifer.

Id give it a 2 or 3 out of 5. It was done well enough, no worse than paranormal activity really. Had some weird parts but its a found footage film so I didnt go in expecting much.

The Loft

Had James Marsden. Other than him, I didn't know who anyone else was. 4 guys, all homeboys you would assume - decide to all go in secretly on a loft apt in a high rise - for the sheer purpose of carrying out the banging of hot chicks discreetly without their wives or anyone else knowing. They buy/rent (not sure) the place and the banging commences. All have their own personal demons and motives, and a plot of their own aside from the banging in the loft. All are also emotional wrecks under the surface which plays into the main story eventually. Long story short on this one, a girl dies in the loft and is found on the bed by one of the guys (not the one who banged her before she croaked). This sets off a complicated spider web of events and twists that I thought was pretty well done. You get through one twist and think you have it figured out, then....wait a minute, there's more......then another, then another.....all pretty shocking and well crafted.

I thought it was a good movie. Not great but solid, especially if you like thrillers with a hot naked chick, and mutiple twists at the end.

Id give it a 3.5 or 4 out of 5.

Both are on Teh Netflix

Kaos · « **Reply #1988 on:** November 11, 2015, 11:21:29 PM »

Straight Outta Compton
Badly wanted to see this when it was in theaters but was alone in that sentiment. When NWA hit I was still relatively young. It was before (now dissolved) marriage, before mortgage, before parenthood.

I was one of the few of my then crew who gravitated toward that. While everybody else I knew was losing their fucking minds over Alabama and George Strait and Randy Travis and Marty Stuart or they were fucking around with sappy Whitney Houston, Mr. Mister and Lionel Richie (which I did like) I was pulled in a different direction. Rock music, yes. Always. But I was fascinated with Run DMC, Sugar Hill Gang, Beastie Boys, Parliament. When NWA first started I didn't get the power of the lyrics, but I definitely got the vibe. My friends wore cowboy hats. I wore Raiders gear. I was the only white guy I knew who had a collection of NWA, Public Enemy, Heavy D, Kool Moe D and the like. I'm not from Compton. Been there once and it scared the living fuck out of me. I'm no gangsta wannabe. But the music resonated. Even through DMX, Jay-Z (sucks), Sean C, Tupac, Nelly, Biggie and so on, I stayed with it. I think the movement has gotten coopted now, though by people who curse just to hear themselves do it. The anger is manufactured. It's no longer real. But I digress.

I knew they rose from nothing to become major players and I wanted to see this movie to get a sense of how that happened. This film was motherfucking awesome.

First the performances. When a biopic like this makes you forget that you aren't watching the actual people that's pretty fantastic. These guys were portraying people who (with the exception of Eazy) are still alive. They all nailed it. Eazy in particular.

The story was so broad it glossed over parts. It probably unfairly hung Jerry Heller out to dry. It probably unnecessarily villianized Eazy to a point and it probably unfairly bestowed sainthood and honor on Cube and Dre. They produced and wrote it, so they're allowed I guess.

Good performances. Good story. I really wish they'd given it the Tarrantino treatment and broken it up into two or three different movies. I'd like to see one just on the Priority Record era. Another on the Suge Knight impact.

Still was just a fantastic movie. Those guys perfectly captured the mood of much of the nation and in the process changed the social narrative. Compelling stuff.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #1989 on:** November 23, 2015, 09:11:45 AM »

Spotlight was very good. Cast was strong: Michael Keaton, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Liev Schreiber, Billy Crudup, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams.

Kind of shocking, in a Pedo State way, how many people were in on the cover-up. Some actively participated and some just turned their heads. The standard line was, "Look at all the good the church does for the city."

The scope and massive, systemic shuffling of these predators is pretty shocking.

You know the final news article the main characters produce, but watching them get there is worth the ride. Well acted, well paced...very good movie.

GH2001 · « **Reply #1990 on:** November 23, 2015, 09:54:04 AM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on November 23, 2015, 09:11:45 AM

Spotlight was very good. Cast was strong: Michael Keaton, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Liev Schreiber, Billy Crudup, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams.

Kind of shocking, in a Pedo State way, how many people were in on the cover-up. Some actively participated and some just turned their heads. The standard line was, "Look at all the good the church does for the city."

The scope and massive, systemic shuffling of these predators is pretty shocking.

You know the final news article the main characters produce, but watching them get there is worth the ride. Well acted, well paced...very good movie.

Good to hear. Will probably go catch this one.

Also has a great moral to the story. If not for those great, vigilant jounralists - how much longer would those abuses have went on , or at minimum stayed a secret? Scary.

I used to be Catholic. Until I became an adult and decided NOT to be anymore. There is a reason. Actually, there are many reasons....and thus was when my libertarian streak started.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #1991 on:** November 23, 2015, 10:03:58 AM »

Quote from: GH2001 on November 23, 2015, 09:54:04 AM

Also has a great moral to the story. If not for those great, vigilant jounralists - how much longer would those abuses have went on , or at minimum stayed a secret? Scary.

They (the "Spotlight" investigative team) had to be pressured into taking the story on. They were mostly Boston-lifers and the stories had been slowly trickling for so long that they took the newest "scandal" in stride. It took the new editor (Schreiber), an outsider Jew, to push the story.

That said, once they dug in, the Spotlight team was zealous in their pursuit of the story.

Kaos · « **Reply #1992 on:** November 26, 2015, 12:19:56 AM »

Victor Frankenstein

The story was essentially the same as always. Demented genius animates a dead creature to his ultimate dismay.

The difference here is James McAvoy. Fantastic actor in the right roles. Outstanding in Last King of Scotland. Savior of X-men IMO. Until just this minute, I didn't realize he was the weird ass goat thing in those Narnia movies but my younger daughter just reminded me of that. Ok, so he's good in a lot of things, but not as a goat.

He's really good here. His performance makes the movie worth watching even though you know how it's going to turn out. Stupid ass Harry Potter almost dragged it down with his awful acting efforts. He should be banned from any further movies for life.

It's well rendered, despite being a little shaky on the background CGI in the beginning. It moves the story along quickly enough.

The end felt a little rushed, but overall it was an enjoyable film -- particularly if you appreciate the monster mythos.

Kaos · « **Reply #1993 on:** December 16, 2015, 01:48:58 AM »

Krampus

Christmas movie mixed with a dash of horror.

Think Gremlins, but darker and more malevolent.

The cast was good, the story was adequate, the mix of humor and horror was on target. I enjoyed it more than I probably should have. Will watch it again next Christmas.

Really looking forward to the movies this weekend. Big one coming out to review. You know, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

The Six · « **Reply #1994 on:** December 16, 2015, 09:45:41 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 16, 2015, 01:48:58 AM

Big one coming out to review. You know, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Kaos · « **Reply #1995 on:** December 18, 2015, 11:28:09 PM »

Star Wars

I think you should see it and decide for yourself.

There were things I liked. Things I didn't. Things that felt shallow and forced. Things that were deeper.

Maybe it's just my age but I was far more invested in the fate and fortune of the original characters than I was with newer characters. The black kid didn't move me. The Brit chick had some good moments but in the end she lacked the reckless mettle solo brought to the originals and she didn't have enough of the do-gooder nerdishness of Luke. Wanted to care about her. Didn't much.

Dawned on me about an hour and a half in. The movie wasn't for me except as a means to connect me back to the older story. The movie was for every 8-15 year old in the world as a means to indoctrinate them into the mythology.

GH2001 · « **Reply #1996 on:** December 20, 2015, 11:14:15 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 16, 2015, 01:48:58 AM

Krampus

Christmas movie mixed with a dash of horror.

Think Gremlins, but darker and more malevolent.

The cast was good, the story was adequate, the mix of humor and horror was on target. I enjoyed it more than I probably should have. Will watch it again next Christmas.

Really looking forward to the movies this weekend. Big one coming out to review. You know, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Saw this one Thursday afternoon. Like you, I think I liked it more than I thought I would. Toni Collete still looks ok. I saw a few plot holes but then again, its a movie about 3000 year old German folklore.

Also saw In the Heart of the Sea Saturday. Thought it was pretty solid. Just an all around solid job by Ron Howard again directing. Dude has become one of the big boys in Hollywood. Opie has came a long way.

The Six · « **Reply #1997 on:** December 30, 2015, 10:19:38 PM »

Saw The Big Short. Interesting presentation and ways of breaking the fourth wall to tell the story.

By the way, iff that is all true, we have failed as a society.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #1998 on:** January 01, 2016, 11:01:07 AM »

The Hateful Eight

Spoiler free.

I saw this in the Hoover IMAX for the 70mm presentation. It was a beautiful, beautiful film. I was expecting to be underwhelmed by the 70mm hype, but some of those shots really were outstanding.

As for the movie itself...meh. It wasn't bad. It's divided into six chapters, and the first four chapters were excellent. Last two were okay. But there were some gaping holes in the character development. A lot of plot points not explained well enough. I'm a big Tarantino fan and would rank this pretty low on his list of movies.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #1999 on:** January 02, 2016, 12:09:17 AM »

Star Wars was sold out. Decided at the last minute on The Hateful Eight. Would not have gone if I knew it was a Tarantino film. Didn't realize until we got in there. Scumbag cop hater can die in a fire as soon as possible. Fuck him with a goat aids infected cattle prod. Now, to the movie. Not a spoiler...just an overview of the plot.

It's a "western" set in the hills of Wyoming with 90% of it played out in one huge room, a general store where all 8 characters get stranded during a blizzard. Samuel L. Jackson and Kurt Russell play two bounty hunters trying to get their kills/catches to Red Rock to collect their cash. Russell's bounty is a girl, (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who he is trying to get to Red Rock for a hanging. The 8, including one of my all time favorites, Bruce Dern, play out a mystery of who dunnit..who's siding with who...who is going to get out of this alive...or not. Played out in 6 chapters. Loved every one.

The positive: Funny as hell. Countless one liners from several characters that had me and the entire audience bent over laughing. Jackson is awesome. Delivers non-stop, whether it's comedy or gruesomely deep, morbid story telling. Saw numerous commercials for this. Thought I saw a cameo by Walton Goggins. Fuck sake, he almost stole the show. Was a close second to Jackson in delivering the side splitting line and being the focus of the whole show. Damn fine and underrated actor. The guy is long overdue for some lead roles. It's always been hard for me to take Kurt Russell seriously. Too many Disney type roles in his early years. He stepped it up a notch here. Played the late 1800's hard ass to a tee.

The negative: I saw a write up that said 'black" was said 65 times in the film. I think they mis-counted, Look, I'm the farthest thing from politically correct you'll ever see. But it was clear they were intentionally putting it in there for effect and honestly, it got real old. The same with the graphic blood scenes. Waaaayyyy over the top. Jennifer Jason Leigh's character stayed covered in blood in one form or another for the entire film. Completely unnecessary. Over the top graphic on blowing people's heads off.

Overall, very entertaining film. My 15 year old was with me but I took a chance and snuck him in to a Super R film. He knew it was over the top but the comedy effect was worth the risk. Just be prepared for mega cussing, mucho negro and new ways to splatter blood and brain matter.