Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[wesfau2]

Is it on Netflix by the same name?

Not sure if srs...

[Kaos]

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

When virtually everyone in your life that's important to you is a woman/girl you make sacrifices. One of those is attending midnight premieres of movies that hold little interest to you.  Thus, Catching Fire.

It was better than the first Hunger Games movie, but that's not saying much because the first one was hideously atrocious. 

I don't care for the "evil rich people partying on the backs of the downtrodden" storyline and its overtly socialist themes.

I've also come to revise my opinion on Jennifer Lawrence. Her work in Winter's Bone had me convinced that she was the next great actress. But her subsequent vapid, emotionless performances in films like X-Men, Hunger Games and House at the End of the Street left me unimpressed. Never saw Silver Limping Prayerbook or whatever that was, but she was supposedly better in it. She'd have to be because she's achingly bad in some of her other work.

Here, she's got little magnetism.  Not to give anything away, but the final scene was (I think) supposed to represent a sea change of emotion in her face, but her expressions are so plastic and flat-eyed it was difficult for me to tell what those emotions might be.  Her face is a smooth blank slate regardless of whatever emotional reaction she's allegedly having.  She's just not that good.

The rest of the cast is either reveling in its own over-costumed, over-acted performance or it just stumbles through the material without much effort.

Everything in the movie from the public uprisings, to the sneering trooper to the devious president to the double cross at the end is a mass of unlikely ridiculousness. What's amazing to me is that this franchise has drawn some pretty decent talent -- including Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Donald Sutherland, Elizabeth Banks and Woody Harrelson -- most of whom have proven themselves capable of portraying characters of incredible depth and detail, but here they're left to scenery chewing barely believable caricatures.  Sutherland was actually twirling his mustache at one point (or if he wasn't, the scene was so stupidly bad I imagined him to be doing so).

This movie is essentially a four and a half hour (what? It didn't last that long?) filler piece between part one and the eventually upcoming part three. 

I'll have to watch that one, too. 

[Kaos]

Madea Christmas

Don't you know Tyler Perry cringes every time he has to put on that dress and slum for money again? 

Movie was about what you'd expect.  Racist commentary (albeit mostly from the black characters, not the white), crass jokes, celebrating hysterical and ignorant blackness, and some digs at the dumb country crackers who live in Alabammer. 

Lots of people/things you've seen before including an awful-looking Alicia Witt, the 'hide yo kids' guy, an ad for Prilosec, Blair from Facts of Life, and ain't nobody got time for that.

Perry sleepwalks through it and looks bored and lazy.  There are a few good moments including his retelling of the birth of Jesus.  Sacrilegious, but mildly amusing. 

The rest was either overacted badly, clumsily done or trite. 

It's also staggeringly stupid.  In what world does the mayor hire and fire teachers, particularly when there is apparently only one teacher (and one black person) in the entire town?  Where in Alabama do rednecks fight over who gets to plant corn? Or have "porn setter" farms? Where in this state do robed Klansmen meet in the middle of town?

A real waste of time that didn't have an impactful ending despite the setup to do so.   

[Godfather]

Madea Christmas

Don't you know Tyler Perry cringes every time he has to put on that dress and slum for money again? 

Movie was about what you'd expect.  Racist commentary (albeit mostly from the black characters, not the white), crass jokes, celebrating hysterical and ignorant blackness, and some digs at the dumb country crackers who live in Alabammer. 

Lots of people/things you've seen before including an awful-looking Alicia Witt, the 'hide yo kids' guy, an ad for Prilosec, Blair from Facts of Life, and ain't nobody got time for that.

Perry sleepwalks through it and looks bored and lazy.  There are a few good moments including his retelling of the birth of Jesus.  Sacrilegious, but mildly amusing. 

The rest was either overacted badly, clumsily done or trite. 

It's also staggeringly stupid.  In what world does the mayor hire and fire teachers, particularly when there is apparently only one teacher (and one black person) in the entire town?  Where in Alabama do rednecks fight over who gets to plant corn? Or have "porn setter" farms? Where in this state do robed Klansmen meet in the middle of town?

A real waste of time that didn't have an impactful ending despite the setup to do so.

I could have told you all of that from the previews.  I have never watched one of his movies nor do I care to.  Really have no interest in a man dressing up in drag, there have been few times where it has actually been funny, (Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie) but those characters were actually men who dressed up within the movie.  The fact you spent money to see this has me 

[djsimp]

The fact you spent money to see this has me 

Lets not forget, K likes his men in makeup.

[Kaos]

The fact you spent money to see this has me 

Have I mentioned that I have girls? That my best friend is a girl. And that her children are both girls?

This movie choice was the culmination of this conversation:

Lets go to a movie.
Ok. What about wolves of Wall Street?
Sounds boring and it's three hours long?
American Hustle?
That's politics isn't it? Kids will be bored.
Grudge Match?
Might have been funny in 1980 but it's two old guys.
Hunger Games? Frozen?
Some of us have seen those movies.
Dino walking?
Really? That movie sucks.
Hobbit?
Ewwww no!
Ronin?
Who?
Mr. Banks?
I hate Mary poppins.
Mitty?
What? Who? I hate Ben stiller.

What about madea?
Ehhh. Sure. Ok.

[War Eagle!!!]

That my best friend is a girl.

Huh? And apparently this isn't your wife??

I'm so confused right now...

[Kaos]

Huh? And apparently this isn't your wife??

I'm so confused right now...

My wife is a girl.  My best friend is a girl.  No confusion. 

[Jumbo]

Kaos have you watched the Conjuring? One of the best horror movies I've seen in a long time.

[The Six]

Kaos have you watched the Conjuring? One of the best horror movies I've seen in a long time.

Agree. Was in my top 5 for the year.

[Godfather]

Have I mentioned that I have girls? That my best friend is a girl. And that her children are both girls?

This movie choice was the culmination of this conversation:

Lets go to a movie.
Ok. What about wolves of Wall Street?
Sounds boring and it's three hours long?
American Hustle?
That's politics isn't it? Kids will be bored.
Grudge Match?
Might have been funny in 1980 but it's two old guys.
Hunger Games? Frozen?
Some of us have seen those movies.
Dino walking?
Really? That movie sucks.
Hobbit?
Ewwww no!
Ronin?
Who?
Mr. Banks?
I hate Mary poppins.
Mitty?
What? Who? I hate Ben stiller.

What about madea?
Ehhh. Sure. Ok.

No no.... I get it, but in my world I would have rather chosen to go do something else instead of seeing a black man play an old woman in drag while not being funny for 2 hours.

[Kaos]

Grudge Match

Might have been funny in the 80s or 90s. But it's two really old guys. 

The jokes were telegraphed, the language more crass than I expected, the outcome inevitable.  Nothing much here but churning waters that have been heavily churned many times before.

The inside jokes were constant.  It merged Rocky and Raging Bull storylines from start to finish down to the eggs, slabs of meat, placement of the cuts during the "fight" and everything you've seen from all the trailers. The movie mined very little fresh territory beyond those trailers, honestly. 

There's still a fluid grace with which Stallone moves that can be admired even as he creeps up on 70 (he's 67 now).  I'd hate to think I had to do a scene with my shirt off at 50, much less in nearly 20 years.  So there's that, too.  But the movie just doesn't pay off like it could/should. 

I did see a trailer for Expendables 3 before the film, though.  It's adding Mel Gibson (54), Harrison Ford (72  OMG, Han Solo is 72!), Wesley Snipes (52), and Antonio Nasonex Banderas (53).  Willis is out. Norris is out.  Van Dumm is out.

Arnold stays in as does Dolph, Statham, Jet Li, Crews and Coture.  New additions that intrigue me?  Kelsey Frasier Grammer and Rhonda Rousey.

[Kaos]

American Hustle

I vaguely remember ABSCAM.  I like period pieces, especially ones like this where I can judge the authenticity from my own experience. 

The movie had the right feel for the era.  And it was okay.  Overly, overly long and at times confusing but okay.  I just didn't see where it possibly rated the "OMG greatest movie EVAR!" tag. 

Christian Bale gained weight and did a DeNiro impression. The lingering glances between Amy Adams, Bale and Bradley Cooper were drawn out to the point that they were almost Twilight-esque in their soap opera dramatics. Jennifer Lawrence is either really good or really bad.  Thankfully in this she was really good. I had a major problem with the idea that she was married to Bale, though.  She's, what, 20? And he's like 42?  That was bad casting.  Jeremy Renner was decent but not spectacular. I think he's always gonna be a B-level actor.  Elisabeth Rohm was completely unrecognizable. There were some surprise appearances. And Adams' boobs should have their own credit in the film, as they turned in a better performance than Adams did.

The movie struggled with whether it wanted to play things as comdey or drama and usually settled for something in the middle which satisfied neither intent.  It wasn't funny enough to be a comedy, wasn't dramatic enough to be a drama like Argo and instead meandered down that middle road of nothingness. There wasn't enough fun, there wasn't enough real suspense. The film just wasn't tight enough and should have spent more time in editing working on the pace.

It clocks in at just over two hours but it felt way, way longer than that.  And that's a bad sign.

[Kaos]

The Call
Oh how good this could have been.

The drama of a 911 operator working a kidnapped teen through the machinations of discovery and escape could have been fraught with tension and intensity. That part of the film was well done.

Sadly this film lost its way. This is how:

1. Silly diversion with "yo baby girl" cop.
2. Insanely over the top characterization of the big bad
3. Hallie Berry's awful hair.
4. The slutty friend that was meaningless. Why introduce a character that has no part in the events or resolution?
5. The waste of Christopher moltisanti.  Apparently parts have been hard to come by for Chrissy in the aftermath of The Sopranos.  His role could have been played by a stuffed animal, guy fieri or squeaky fromme. It was a serious squanderance of the illusion of talent/star power. His role was "guy in car"
6. The end. What a load of crap. Of all the ways to end the movie that was the worst the writers could have devised. So many problems with it there's no need to list them. It was, in a word, stupid. And it destroyed any goodwill the previous hour and a half may have created.

Before the last 15 minutes I would have given it a B.  But those last 15 pushed it down to a hard D.

[wesfau2]

The Call
Oh how good this could have been.

The drama of a 911 operator working a kidnapped teen through the machinations of discovery and escape could have been fraught with tension and intensity. That part of the film was well done.

Sadly this film lost its way. This is how:

1. Silly diversion with "yo baby girl" cop.
2. Insanely over the top characterization of the big bad
3. Hallie Berry's awful hair.
4. The slutty friend that was meaningless. Why introduce a character that has no part in the events or resolution?
5. The waste of Christopher moltisanti.  Apparently parts have been hard to come by for Chrissy in the aftermath of The Sopranos.  His role could have been played by a stuffed animal, guy fieri or squeaky fromme. It was a serious squanderance of the illusion of talent/star power. His role was "guy in car"
6. The end. What a load of crap. Of all the ways to end the movie that was the worst the writers could have devised. So many problems with it there's no need to list them. It was, in a word, stupid. And it destroyed any goodwill the previous hour and a half may have created.

Before the last 15 minutes I would have given it a B.  But those last 15 pushed it down to a hard D.

Don't lie...you love a hard D. 

[Snaggletiger]

Anchorman 2 probably reviewed pages ago but if so, missed it.  Simply put...laughed my ass off for 2/3 or 57% of it.  Asked myself WTF was that for about 23% of the movie.  The remaining 33% was just jump the shark (literally), do NOT make an Anchorman 3, stupid.  Some really funny bits in it and a ton a holy-crap-did-he-just-say-that racial humor. Left there feeling like this was everything Will Ferrell has ever done, combined into one movie and taken to the extreme.  Some incredibly funny and incredibly face-palm moments.  Overall, worth the price of the ticket to me.     

[Vandy Vol]

Overall, worth the price of the ticket to me.   

Well, that's because the price of the ticket is about .00000000000000000000001% of what you make...monthly.

[Kaos]

Anchorman 2 probably reviewed pages ago but if so, missed it.  Simply put...laughed my ass off for 2/3 or 57% of it.  Asked myself WTF was that for about 23% of the movie.  The remaining 33% was just jump the shark (literally), do NOT make an Anchorman 3, stupid.  Some really funny bits in it and a ton a holy-crap-did-he-just-say-that racial humor. Left there feeling like this was everything Will Ferrell has ever done, combined into one movie and taken to the extreme.  Some incredibly funny and incredibly face-palm moments.  Overall, worth the price of the ticket to me.   

Not reviewed and won't be.

From someone who spent years trying to convince me that ferrel was a comedy genius:

"I was wrong. He just doesn't have anything but one character over and over. Anchorman 2 was embarrassing for everybody involved."

[Kaos]

Ride Along

Theater was completely full on a Friday night if that means anything.

Not as raunchy or profane as I expected it to be given the presence of Kevin Hart and Ice.

Pretty good movie that delivered exactly what it advertised. The "story" such as it was with its Serbian guns in Atlanta spin was actually terrible and if the film had tried to deliver that turd seriously it would have failed miserably. Instead it was just an excuse to get Hart into a variety of messy situations that allowed him to improvise in character.

Hart reminded me very much of 80s Eddie Murphy and this could very easily have been a film done by Murphy and say Samuel L Jackson in 1985 or so. 

Cube is pretty much himself but that's not a bad thing. He's semi believable. The angry white cop boss cliche is there for no reason and John legume reminds you once again why he has trouble getting quality roles. He's awful. 

But as a whole the movie delivers what the trailers promise. A fun and funny ride along.

[Kaos]

Lone Survivor

This movie hurt my soul. 

It's so much better than I hoped it might be. Having watched Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle and this film all within the last week or so, it disturbs me that Bale and Leo and their films are piling up on the award circuit while this movie is being ignored. 

Marky is outstanding.  Foster is tremendous.  Hirsch is very good. Even Taylor kitsch -- who is clearly a terrible actor -- does well here.

The movie's gritty realism makes you feel every bit of the pain endured by the men on this mission. Their desperation becomes yours.

The theater sold out -- on a Saturday afternoon -- and I joked before it started that it was unusual to be one of the youngest in the audience.  There were a lot of veterans in the mix too. During the end credits you could hear a lot of sniffling and crying.

Powerful movie. Powerful message. Well acted. Well shot.

Everybody needs to see it.