Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Kaos]

Expendables 2

Hackneyed. Cliched. Ham-fisted.

Bad actors offering bad dialogue amid improbable circumstances and lots of pyrotechnics. 

They were supposed to be having fun but they all looked old and like it hurt. 

Sad, really. 

[Kaos]

The Conjuring

So scary they had to post paramedics and police outside the theater.

If you've ever seen any "possession" movie from The Exorcist to Last Rites to Emily Rose to ... you name it ... you've seen this film. 

No new ground.  Banging doors. Creepy sounds. Birds. Vomit.   

*yawn*

[Snaggletiger]

Took Mini Snags to see R.I.P.D. last night.  Ryan Reynolds plays a cop who gets killed by his partner, Kevin Bacon.  In the afterlife, he's immediately transported to a police precinct where dead cops are trying to save the world from the apocalypse, which the "Deado's" are trying to make happen.  Kind of a Men In Black type theme.  Jeff Bridges plays Reynolds' partner in the afterlife and he makes the movie.  He's an old west Sheriff, killed back in the 1800's. 

None of the above is a spoiler because the trailer tells you all of this.  The funny thing is that they see each other as they really are while the rest of the world sees them totally different.  Bridges looks like a blonde supermodel while Reynolds is an old Chinese guy.  Overall, a pretty entertaining movie.  Worth a rental or something to do on a Wednesday night.

[Kaos]

Evil Dead 2013

Horror, like comedy, is a difficult genre to get just right. What scares me may bore you. There's only so many slamming doors and leaping cats you can use before it becomes tedious and cliche.

A remake is even less likely to surprise. See Friday the 13th or Elm Street reboots as evidence.
Evil Dead made the right choice and told a slightly different story than the original.

Scary? Not so much.  Gory, cringe inducing and painful? Yeah.

True scares are few and far between in any movie. The days of an exorcist or psycho terrifying audiences is gone. We see worse on walking dead or honey boo boo. Don't think Evil Dead came close to horror but it did provide a number of scenes where you went "oh jeez, that had to hurt"

It was well paced, a little goofy and piled on the gore effects.

I liked it.

[Kaos]

Flight

The trailers made it out to be something it wasn't.  The film was about a crash, yes, but not a plane crash. 

The plane crash was in a way allegorical, although it did happen.  It was symbolic of the personal and professional crash of the pilot played by Denzel. 

He was a hero, but he was not.  It was difficult to decide whether the daring act that allegedly saved lives was worth overlooking the personal flaws that he overcame to perform it.

He lay with women of various ethnicities including Dr. Watson's wife.  Sherlock will probably punish him for that. 

He convincingly played the same people I've known all my life from my uncles to my former business partner to my friends who all loudly proclaimed they were in control, it was their choice when in fact they were not and it hadn't been for a long time.  The wreckage he left behind is also familiar. 

Not all of those end up with the tidy resolution this one does, sadly most of those end in personal disaster. 

A pretty depressing film all in all. 

But as with most of Denzel's fare, worth watching for his efforts.

[Kaos]

Lincoln

Makes me wish the South would have won.  Would have been spared this boring drivel.

When it opened with an uppity Negro soldier boasting of the prowess of the colored brigades and their essential role in the War and badgering Abe about black this and snapping that he don't shine shoes or cut hair, I knew this borefest was headed in the wrong direction. 

Saint Abe, determined to save all slaves. Pffftttttt. 

Boring. Historically inaccurate.  Worse twisting of history than Inglorious Basterds.  And boring. 

[Saniflush]

Lincoln

Makes me wish the South would have won.  Would have been spared this boring drivel.

When it opened with an uppity Negro soldier boasting of the prowess of the colored brigades and their essential role in the War and badgering Abe about black this and snapping that he don't shine shoes or cut hair, I knew this borefest was headed in the wrong direction. 

Saint Abe, determined to save all slaves. Pffftttttt. 

Boring. Historically inaccurate.  Worse twisting of history than Inglorious Basterds.  And boring.

Abe was a fucking war criminal.  That is all.

[AUTiger1]

Abe was a fucking war criminal.  That is all.

 

[Kaos]

We're The Millers

Moderately funny. 

Jenny Anny would go broke as a real stripper.  She just doesn't have the moves.  Nice body, but not a stripper.

Sudekis can only play one guy. 

Ed Helms very nearly completely ruined this movie.  He was not believable and his career should crash and burn.

[wesfau2]

Elysium is fucking awesome.

[GH2001]

Abe was a fucking war criminal.  That is all.

  to sani.


  to Abe the federalist.

[Townhallsavoy]

Elysium is fucking awesome.

I really want to see this after having viewed District 9.  I did read that Elysium is overtly political.  Did you see any of that?

[wesfau2]

I really want to see this after having viewed District 9.  I did read that Elysium is overtly political.  Did you see any of that?

Oh yeah.  District 9 was his apartheid movie and this is his free/equal access to health care movie.

[Kaos]

Oh yeah.  District 9 was his apartheid movie and this is his free/equal access to health care movie.

Then it sucks. 

[AU_Tiger_2000]

Oh yeah.  District 9 was his apartheid movie and this is his free/equal access to health care movie.

Apartheid?  Man, glad to see this guy is up to date on current events.  Hopefully he can generate enough interest to get Mandella released.

[GH2001]

Apartheid?  Man, glad to see this guy is up to date on current events.  Hopefully he can generate enough interest to get Mandella released.

Was gonna do a Mandella name drop there but you beat me to it.

[Kaos]

Olympus Has Fallen

And it can't get up. 

I don't much like Gerard Butler, but here at least he wasn't required to do much acting, nor was he called on to be comedic or ham up much of any female relationship.  His primary duty was to mumble silly one-liners while single-handedly slaughtering 30 or so highly trained terrorists. 

It was a silly, stupid movie that had some ridiculous gaps.

The terrorists need three codes for Cerebrus to activate.  Okay, the three people who know the codes are all in the bunker.  So they threaten to kill each one in sequence.  If you're one of three people in the world who knows a code that can prevent a national nuclear holocaust all you have to do is keep your mouth shut. So, they kill you?  World is saved.  Terrorist threat averted.  But no, gallant president Harvey Dent orders them to give up the codes. Idiot.

Chucklehound Gerard besting half the world in hand-to-hand combat?  Nah.  Not happening. 

But if you suspend any need for logic, rationality, plot or sense and you just enjoy watching the White House get blown to smithereens then this is an action flick for you. 

Did think the method of infiltrating the White House was fairly well done.

My biggest complaint: In the situation room with God as acting President, they're trying to figure out who the person spearheading the invasion is but come up with nothing from his video images. "We're running this guy through facial recognition software but coming up with nothing. "  Later when Lunkwater Butler gives them a name, suddenly there's an entire dossier on the screen - complete with pictures.  Really? And that facial recognition stuff drew a blank? 

My second biggest complaint: Ashley Judd is wasted in a really stupid set up sequence that added nothing to the story whatsoever.

My third biggest complaint: MSNBC talking heads in a cameo. 

[Jumbo]

Olympus Has Fallen

And it can't get up. 

I don't much like Gerard Butler, but here at least he wasn't required to do much acting, nor was he called on to be comedic or ham up much of any female relationship.  His primary duty was to mumble silly one-liners while single-handedly slaughtering 30 or so highly trained terrorists. 

It was a silly, stupid movie that had some ridiculous gaps.

The terrorists need three codes for Cerebrus to activate.  Okay, the three people who know the codes are all in the bunker.  So they threaten to kill each one in sequence.  If you're one of three people in the world who knows a code that can prevent a national nuclear holocaust all you have to do is keep your mouth shut. So, they kill you?  World is saved.  Terrorist threat averted.  But no, gallant president Harvey Dent orders them to give up the codes. Idiot.

Chucklehound Gerard besting half the world in hand-to-hand combat?  Nah.  Not happening. 

But if you suspend any need for logic, rationality, plot or sense and you just enjoy watching the White House get blown to smithereens then this is an action flick for you. 

Did think the method of infiltrating the White House was fairly well done.

My biggest complaint: In the situation room with God as acting President, they're trying to figure out who the person spearheading the invasion is but come up with nothing from his video images. "We're running this guy through facial recognition software but coming up with nothing. "  Later when Lunkwater Butler gives them a name, suddenly there's an entire dossier on the screen - complete with pictures.  Really? And that facial recognition stuff drew a blank? 

My second biggest complaint: Ashley Judd is wasted in a really stupid set up sequence that added nothing to the story whatsoever.

My third biggest complaint: MSNBC talking heads in a cameo.

I thought it was a good movie definitely worth a view.

[Kaos]

I thought it was a good movie definitely worth a view.

Do you disagree with "give them the code" ?

[wesfau2]

Apartheid?  Man, glad to see this guy is up to date on current events.  Hopefully he can generate enough interest to get Mandella released.

Tarantino really missed the boat making a movie about slavery, too.