Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Kaos]

FIXT

Except it wasn't like that at all.  Hotness very quickly became a non-factor.  Wasn't a part of the narrative.

[Kaos]

The Help

Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers. 

Yet another double helping of white southern guilt where the only characters with any virtue. morality or integrity are either black or Yankee-driven. 

Such utter bullshit.  Complete and utter fucking horse fucking manure. 

The film was done reasonably well and there may have been some truth to parts of it.  But things warn't like they was portrayed.  Still that's what my children and most other folks who didn't live in that time will consider to be the truth. 

When I was a little kid most of the families we knew had domestic help.  People were hired to cook, clean, and help out with the babies (most folks had large families if you remember.  Seven kids wasn't a rarity).  There were no doo-doo pies. Nobody was calling out lynch squads or accusing people of stealing just to set them up.  Can't speak for all, but most of the families I knew formed genuine bonds and relationships with the people who worked in our houses.  It wasn't a world of abuse, shame, degradation and pettiness.  People did their jobs.  The help was part of the family.  Just like Alice on the Brady Bunch. 

BTW, the Home Help Sanitation Initiative which was a major component of this film was completely fictional.  There's no indication anyone ever forced the help to have separate facilities or build separate facilities for them to use.  Utter bullshit.  The author of this load of excrement excuses her literary license by saying "it very well could have existed, but it didn't." 

I think I'm going to do a movie about the NAACP and have one of the characters describe the "Murder Honky Initiative" in detail.  It wasn't real, but it very well could have existed.   

Because the movie twisted historical fact I'm compelled to tell it to go fuck itself. 

Emma Stone is still pretty damn great.  Ugly as some think she is, she's good.

[The Six]

The Help

Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers. 

I hate it when Hollywood makes us all look like Bammers.

[GH2001]

Except it wasn't like that at all.  Hotness very quickly became a non-factor.  Wasn't a part of the narrative.

My post was somewhat tongue in cheek but I agree, I like her personality a lot. The fact that she is super duper (almost girl next door in a weird way) hot is icing. She just seems cool in general.

[Kaos]

Underworld: Awakening

Underworld: Putting Me to Sleepening. 

The first and third installments of this series were pretty damn good.  The third didn't suffer at all from a lack of Selene. 

This?  Absolutely TERRIBLE. 

It's one thing to watch Selene fighting werewolves and brawling with vampires.  It's quite another to watch her mowing through the human population.  Hard to root for somebody who indiscriminately slaughters people left and right. 

Stupid story.  No, that's an insult to stupid.  The story was insulting.  It was utter shit. 

Terrible acting. 

Completely insipid and lazy. 

Even Beckinsale -- so vampishly hot in the first film of the series -- was dull and unsexy. 

I knew it was going to suck a little (pun).  I didn't expect it to just take a shit and wipe its dirty ass on the screen. 

Bad movie with no life at all.

Boo.

[War Eagle!!!]

The Help

Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers. 

Yet another double helping of white southern guilt where the only characters with any virtue. morality or integrity are either black or Yankee-driven. 

Such utter bullshit.  Complete and utter fucking horse fucking manure. 

The film was done reasonably well and there may have been some truth to parts of it.  But things warn't like they was portrayed.  Still that's what my children and most other folks who didn't live in that time will consider to be the truth. 

When I was a little kid most of the families we knew had domestic help.  People were hired to cook, clean, and help out with the babies (most folks had large families if you remember.  Seven kids wasn't a rarity).  There were no doo-doo pies. Nobody was calling out lynch squads or accusing people of stealing just to set them up.  Can't speak for all, but most of the families I knew formed genuine bonds and relationships with the people who worked in our houses.  It wasn't a world of abuse, shame, degradation and pettiness.  People did their jobs.  The help was part of the family.  Just like Alice on the Brady Bunch. 

BTW, the Home Help Sanitation Initiative which was a major component of this film was completely fictional.  There's no indication anyone ever forced the help to have separate facilities or build separate facilities for them to use.  Utter bullshit.  The author of this load of excrement excuses her literary license by saying "it very well could have existed, but it didn't." 

I think I'm going to do a movie about the NAACP and have one of the characters describe the "Murder Honky Initiative" in detail.  It wasn't real, but it very well could have existed.   

Because the movie twisted historical fact I'm compelled to tell it to go fuck itself. 

Emma Stone is still pretty damn great.  Ugly as some think she is, she's good.

This is what is being taught though. I visited Gettysburg a couple of months ago and the general theme of the whole museum was complete shit.



Umm...what?

No mention of states rights anywhere in there? Really?

Every part of the museum talked about how southerners thought they were the superior race while the northerners just wanted everyone to be equal. Now I am not naive enough to know that some of this didn't exsist...but the whole war fought over it? Nope.

PERCENTAGE OF SOUTHERNERS WHO OWNED SLAVES IN 1860
25%  were  slaves owners -
of that 25%:
52% owned 1-5 slaves;
 
35% owned 6-9 slaves;
 
11% owned 20-99 slaves; and
 
1% owned 100 or more slaves

So, you are telling me that there were over 1,000,000 confederate soldiers, of which over 260,000 of them died, so a small fucking percentage of white dudes could keep their slaves? Nope.

But you won't see that fucking taught anywhere.

Again, I am not saying that slavery was right. It wasn't. But to teach that this was the fundamental reason for the war, which creates a fictional history like the one presented in this movie, is factually wrong.

I am going to stop now before I really get going...

This is a huge  for me...

[GH2001]

This is what is being taught though. I visited Gettysburg a couple of months ago and the general theme of the whole museum was complete shit.



Umm...what?

No mention of states rights anywhere in there? Really?

Every part of the museum talked about how southerners thought they were the superior race while the northerners just wanted everyone to be equal. Now I am not naive enough to know that some of this didn't exsist...but the whole war fought over it? Nope.

So, you are telling me that there were over 1,000,000 confederate soldiers, of which over 260,000 of them died, so a small fucking percentage of white dudes could keep their slaves? Nope.

But you won't see that fucking taught anywhere.

Again, I am not saying that slavery was right. It wasn't. But to teach that this was the fundamental reason for the war, which creates a fictional history like the one presented in this movie, is factually wrong.

I am going to stop now before I really get going...

This is a huge  for me...

Total agree. I get real riled up about portrayed Civil War history in the media as well. They always seem to mention nothing but the Confederate hicks who just wanted to own black people and wished for the demise of the country, but good old Abe - he saved us all and was able to put those rebel rousing, slave owning mutants in their place and save the whole darned country.... Just like the FDR/Great Depression propoganda. 

[Godfather]

Total agree. I get real riled up about portrayed Civil War history in the media as well. They always seem to mention nothing but the Confederate hicks who just wanted to own black people and wished for the demise of the country, but good old Abe - he saved us all and was able to put those rebel rousing, slave owning mutants in their place and save the whole darned country.... Just like the FDR/Great Depression propoganda. 

Don't you talk shit about Abe...he killed vampires mother fucker.

[Saniflush]

First off teachers need to teach the definition of a civil war. 

We were not in a civil war.  We did not want control of their government.  We wanted control of ours.

Big difference.

[GH2001]

First off teachers need to teach the definition of a civil war. 

We were not in a civil war.  We did not want control of their government.  We wanted control of ours.

Big difference.

Or to add to that, the fed gov't wanted too much to control us beyond their bounds. Tenth amendment bitches.

[Kaos]

Or to add to that, the fed gov't wanted too much to control us beyond their bounds. Tenth amendment bitches.

Say....

Maybe it's time for another uprising? 

[Townhallsavoy]

The Help

Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers. 

Yet another double helping of white southern guilt where the only characters with any virtue. morality or integrity are either black or Yankee-driven. 

Such utter bullshit.  Complete and utter fucking horse fucking manure. 

The film was done reasonably well and there may have been some truth to parts of it.  But things warn't like they was portrayed.  Still that's what my children and most other folks who didn't live in that time will consider to be the truth. 

When I was a little kid most of the families we knew had domestic help.  People were hired to cook, clean, and help out with the babies (most folks had large families if you remember.  Seven kids wasn't a rarity).  There were no doo-doo pies. Nobody was calling out lynch squads or accusing people of stealing just to set them up.  Can't speak for all, but most of the families I knew formed genuine bonds and relationships with the people who worked in our houses.  It wasn't a world of abuse, shame, degradation and pettiness.  People did their jobs.  The help was part of the family.  Just like Alice on the Brady Bunch. 

BTW, the Home Help Sanitation Initiative which was a major component of this film was completely fictional.  There's no indication anyone ever forced the help to have separate facilities or build separate facilities for them to use.  Utter bullshit.  The author of this load of excrement excuses her literary license by saying "it very well could have existed, but it didn't." 

I think I'm going to do a movie about the NAACP and have one of the characters describe the "Murder Honky Initiative" in detail.  It wasn't real, but it very well could have existed.   

Because the movie twisted historical fact I'm compelled to tell it to go fuck itself. 

Emma Stone is still pretty damn great.  Ugly as some think she is, she's good.

I kind of liked this movie until I read your critique.  Now I hate it.

Nice write up. 

[Aubie16]

Emma Stone is still pretty damn great.  Ugly as some think she is, she's good.

Who the hell thinks Emma Stone is ugly? Show yourselves.

[War Eagle!!!]

Who the hell thinks Emma Stone is ugly? Show yourselves.

[Godfather]

I have never seen so many crazy lying motherfuckers. 

[Kaos]

It isn't my hand that's rising.

[Godfather]

It isn't my hand that's rising.

Yeah for once, you are still crazy though.

[Kaos]

The Dark Knight Rises

Preface by saying Batman is far and away my favorite superhero.  It's not even close. 

Also preface by saying that while I enjoyed the 80s version with Keaton and Nicholson for what it was at the time I've grown to dislike that movie over the years and come to fairly loathe the silly ass sequels that followed. 

I greatly liked Batman Begins (with the exception of the affected voice Bale elected to use). 

I thought The Dark Knight was as good as a Batman movie could possibly be.  Heath Ledger's Joker was brilliant.  The only drawback was the colossal waste of the Harvey Dent character and the complete and utter ugliness of that Gylenhall cow.  Still, it was a fantastic movie. 

The Dark Knight Rises I saw at the midnight premiere tonight.  I can't say I was disappointed, but I left definitely less than awed. 

The movie will suffer badly in comparison to the far more entertaining Avengers film.  While I'm no Marvel fan and am a DC guy all the way you can't deny that Iron Man and The Avengers got the superhero movie right.  Both of those films had just the right mix of humor and action and didn't try to reflect some grand overarching message.  the message?  Rich folks are evil and got there on the backs of the poor.  Let's riot!

They really should have titled this thing Batman: Ode to the Occupiers!

Batman, particularly Rises, is dark, dingy, dirty, morose and brooding.  I wasn't impressed at all with the plot, got no spark whatsoever from Hathaway as Catwoman and was completely underwhelmed with the Bane character.  I also grew weary of Gordon.

Question: Does EVERYBODY in Gotham know Bruce Wayne is Batman? 

Like all third acts this movie preached too much, brooded too deeply, pondered its own navel for what seemed like hours on end and despite its ridiculously excessive three-hour run-time left plot holes the size of Canada and allowed multiple story threads to unravel.  It was far, far too long.  I think it would have been better had it wrapped up in 90-135 minutes instead of a full 180. 

For fans of the comic the "big surprises" will come as no surprise.  The end takes seemed rushed.  Not going to post any spoilers but some of the supposedly awesome finale had my audience groaning instead of cheering.

Finally, I wasn't really pleased with Batman's portrayal either.  Yeah, he has to fight people that's part of the schtick.  But Batman is always Ali.  He's got something up his sleeve, he's a showman, he has a trick or two that you don't expect.  This movie made him more of a brainless brawler brute.  More Frazier than Ali.  Batman can do more than just stalk around and punch the shit out of people. 

It's really not fair to compare this movie to its predecessors or to the Avengers, but you can't escape that.  As a stand-alone film it's pretty good.  Held in contrast to Avengers or The Dark Knight, it was flatter than a three-hour flitter.  Easily the worst of the three Nolan-helmed Batman films and with none of the self-mocking humor and awareness that made Avengers great. 


 

[Buzz Killington]

+1

[Godfather]

+1

Wait...you think this is ugly?



I don't even know you anymore. No wonder the bird looks so dead.