Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[GH2001]

I don't think the new Spiderman looks any different than the Tobey Spiderman.

It looks decent. Hard to tell if it will be better or worse. It definitely tells the story from a different angle. More dark and going into Spiderman's origins. Bad or not, it will be HUGE at the box office.

[Godfather]

They just can't get the Spiderman casting right.  This new dude?  Please.  Peter Parker is not a scrawny, wormy fuck. 

Uhhh what Spiderman did you read? Yes he was.

Not wormy, but he was scrawny.  He was a smart assed nerd.  I don't care for Tobey Mcguire in the roll nor the direction they took the movie(s), but from a looks standpoint he nailed Spiderman.

[Kaos]

Uhhh what Spiderman did you read? Yes he was.

Not wormy, but he was scrawny.  He was a smart assed nerd.  I don't care for Tobey Mcguire in the roll nor the direction they took the movie(s), but from a looks standpoint he nailed Spiderman.

I never read the yellowed-out 1945 Spiderman.  My point of reference was the 1970s.

[Saniflush]

I never read the yellowed-out 1945 Spiderman. 

There was a Japanese version?

[Godfather]

I never read the yellowed-out 1945 Spiderman.  My point of reference was the 1970s.

Point is he was supposed to be an everyman... someone who was kind of nerdy dork that turned into a superhero.  He didn't have money like Batman, he wasn't an alien like Superman. All the comic renditions I have looked at (including the one above) he was lean and agile and had a smart assed sense of humor (he had an athletic build). He wasn't built like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

While I totally agree with you that Maguire sucked in the part (or at least I didn't care for his acting) IMO he perfectly fit the description. 

I also think the new guy looks the part, the rest is up for debate.

[Godfather]

I consider that an athletic build

[Kaos]

I consider that an athletic build

It's CGI. In real life both he and the new scrawny nerd have sunk-in chests. They weigh about 100 pounds.  They didn't CGI him in the rest of the movie. 

From what I remember from the comics (and Spiderman was never my favorite) he was always fairly buff.  Not a no-ass stick figure like these two.  Not saying he has to be Ferrigno or even Dwayne The Rock, but somebody with a mannish build would be nice. 

[GH2001]

somebody with a mannish build would be nice.

You have 's attention...again.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

It's CGI. In real life both he and the new scrawny nerd have sunk-in chests. They weigh about 100 pounds.  They didn't CGI him in the rest of the movie. 

From what I remember from the comics (and Spiderman was never my favorite) he was always fairly buff. Not a no-ass stick figure like these two.  Not saying he has to be Ferrigno or even Dwayne The Rock, but somebody with a mannish build would be nice.

He's like Batman, the muscles were just part of the suit.

What I always wondered is how the strongest alien in the universe looks like this in his costume made of spandex



while Batman does a few pushups in the morning and his muscles actually show through a suit made of kevlar?

[Kaos]

You have 's attention...again.

Great.  Something else to deduct. 

[Vandy Vol]

Great.  Something else to deduct.

Unless you have a harem of accountants incorrectly telling you that it can't be deducted.

[Kaos]

The Princess and the Frog

Terrible, awful, dreadful movie. 

Abysmal.

A disgrace to the Disney genre.

Bloated with stereotypes.  Insulting. 

TRASH

[djsimp]

I never read the yellowed-out 1945 Spiderman.  My point of reference was the 1970s.

He looks to be gazing at his penis in the reflection.

[Kaos]

Piranha 3DD

Tried to conjure the silliness of 80's titty teen schlock like Ski School and mix it with cheesy 80s horror. 

Worked somewhat well in the first Piranha remake but missed the boat a bit here. 

Danielle Pannebaker is still moderately delicious.  Todd Packer plays basically the same guy in every movie/TV show he's in and is just as unfunny as always. 

If you go in expecting nothing and accept it for humor you'll be okay.  Despite an earnest performance by Danielle, this is supposed to be pure camp.  The Hoff's self-mocking effort is probably the best part of the film. 

[Kaos]

Human Centipede 2

Please give me that 90 minutes back.

What a fetid pile of shit. 

[Jumbo]

No Magic Mike review???? Vandy's gonna blow.

[Vandy Vol]

No Magic Mike review???? Vandy's gonna blow.

I've been blowing for awhile now.

[The Six]

Human Centipede 2

Please give me that 90 minutes back.

What a fetid pile of shoot.

Yeah Tom Six use that as a way to take a flaming whiz on people who watched the first HC. Pointless.

[Tiger Wench]

No Magic Mike review???? Vandy's gonna blow.

I got your Magic Mike review...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh snap.

Oooooo, baby, come to momma.

DAMN.

Holy shit.

Yummy yummy yummy.

Oh, yeah, do that again...

Oh, Mr Fireman Joe Manganiello, thank you taking your shirt off before rescuing my cat from that tree.

Yes, you are both an officer and a gentleman but I like the choker whites best in a pile on the floor.

And Channing Tatum... hubba hubba... the boy has some damn SKILLZ!!!!!!!

Somebody get momma a fan cuz it is fucking HOT up in here and it is NOT the weather...

********************************************

Bottom line (and my my MY what some fine as hell bottoms they were...) - the plot sucked, which is sad because it definitely had potential.  Not sure what the hell the writer/producer was going for.  But I guaran-damn-tee you I would have paid twice the ticket price to just sit and watch those boys dance for two solid hours.  Sweet heavens, that was more eye candy than one woman could stand all at once.   If the all male revues are anything like that in real life, I do not think my heart could stand it.

So plot?  Who gives a crap!!  Mowar strippers!!!!! 

I went to see it with the new girl - and we have decided we need an all-X dance team.  To be considered, we will need each of you to please send us your best audition video and pics of your asses in a thong.  Don't be afraid - we will be gentle.

I give Magic Mike a five out of five pelvic thrusts and a g-string loaded with cash.

[AUChizad]

I got your Magic Mike review...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh snap.

Oooooo, baby, come to momma.

DAMN.

Holy shit.

Yummy yummy yummy.

Oh, yeah, do that again...

Oh, Mr Fireman Joe Manganiello, thank you taking your shirt off before rescuing my cat from that tree.

Yes, you are both an officer and a gentleman but I like the choker whites best in a pile on the floor.

And Channing Tatum... hubba hubba... the boy has some damn SKILLZ!!!!!!!

Somebody get momma a fan cuz it is fucking HOT up in here and it is NOT the weather...

********************************************

Bottom line (and my my MY what some fine as hell bottoms they were...) - the plot sucked, which is sad because it definitely had potential.  Not sure what the hell the writer/producer was going for.  But I guaran-damn-tee you I would have paid twice the ticket price to just sit and watch those boys dance for two solid hours.  Sweet heavens, that was more eye candy than one woman could stand all at once.   If the all male revues are anything like that in real life, I do not think my heart could stand it.

So plot?  Who gives a crap!!  Mowar strippers!!!!! 

I went to see it with the new girl - and we have decided we need an all-X dance team.  To be considered, we will need each of you to please send us your best audition video and pics of your asses in a thong.  Don't be afraid - we will be gentle.

I give Magic Mike a five out of five pelvic thrusts and a g-string loaded with cash.

How were Olivia Munn's tittays?