Kaos' way behind movie reviews

GH2001 · « **Reply #1120 on:** May 11, 2012, 09:27:11 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 11, 2012, 04:52:38 AM

The movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be a comedy or a drama and ended up doing neither well.

This is sometimes the dilemma with Depp and even Downey Jr.

Kaos · « **Reply #1121 on:** May 26, 2012, 01:44:23 AM »

Sleeping Beauty

Watched this sleeper on Netflix only because Emily Browning was in it. I liked her in Sucker Punch and she's good here, too. This girl needs to fire her agent because she's just not getting enough to work with.

This film was sick. Who wants to see decrepit old men's dicks? Who wants to see old bastards dry humping?

Granted Emily does spend about half the movie in varying stages of nudity and is seemingly comfortable with that. Good.

But the stupid dialogue, the odd pacing and the silly psycho-seriousness of this film just failed her completely. I had no idea what she was trying to do, her motivations were false and her behavior, particularly in the final six minutes untrue to the character.

Other than the nudity -- which was offset by the creepy old naked men -- nothing to recommend here.

Kaos · « **Reply #1122 on:** May 27, 2012, 10:53:35 PM »

Beastly
Vanessa Hudgens.

A tween take on the Beauty and the Beast story. Although you knew how it was going to end, it was still done okay.

I expected to hate it and hate Hudgens, too but I did neither. She's not that bad.

It was instantly forgettable, but I wasn't throwing up through the entire thing. It was a nice story for a teenage audience.

GH2001 · « **Reply #1123 on:** May 29, 2012, 10:26:29 AM »

Did anyone check out Chernobyl Diaries or MIB3? Thoughts???

GH2001 · « **Reply #1124 on:** May 29, 2012, 10:28:19 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 26, 2012, 01:44:23 AM

Who wants to see decrepit old men's dicks? Who wants to see old bastards dry humping?

varying stages of nudity and is seemingly comfortable with that.

creepy old naked men

All of the above -

Vandy Vol · « **Reply #1125 on:** May 29, 2012, 11:18:21 AM »

Quote from: GH2001 on May 29, 2012, 10:28:19 AM

All of the above -

I'm gay enough to watch old naked men, but I am not gay enough to call Beastly a "nice story."

Kaos · « **Reply #1126 on:** May 29, 2012, 12:11:10 PM »

Quote from: Vandy Vol on May 29, 2012, 11:18:21 AM

I am not gay enough to call Beastly a "nice story."

It's a tale as old as time.

Saniflush · « **Reply #1127 on:** May 29, 2012, 12:12:57 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on May 29, 2012, 12:11:10 PM

It's a tale as old as time.

Are you talking about the old men now?

GH2001 · « **Reply #1128 on:** May 29, 2012, 02:02:34 PM »

Quote from: Saniflush on May 29, 2012, 12:12:57 PM

Are you talking about the old men now?

That would be a tail.

Kaos · « **Reply #1129 on:** June 04, 2012, 12:54:42 PM »

Moneyball

Ok, so I know it was mostly BS. But the movie was pretty good. I hate Jonah Hill but could almost tolerate his stupid mug here because he wasn't playing an adolescent assclown.

Enjoyed the movie more than I thought I would. Even though it was mostly BS.

GH2001 · « **Reply #1130 on:** June 04, 2012, 02:41:13 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on June 04, 2012, 12:54:42 PM

Moneyball

Ok, so I know it was mostly BS. But the movie was pretty good. I hate Jonah Hill but could almost tolerate his stupid mug here because he wasn't playing an adolescent assclown.

Enjoyed the movie more than I thought I would. Even though it was mostly BS.

Ive learned that Hollywood has to take a lot of liberties in movies to make the plot better when it comes to true stories especially. War movies do it. Sports movies do it too. Ive seen good ones in both genres who have taken minor liberties and filled in gaps, and it still turn out ok - i.e. Secretariat, We Were Soldiers, Braveheart, Patriot, Invinceable. Few true stories have a full plot that needs no Hollywood intervention as far as telling the story. D Day and the life of Jesus are two of those exceptions.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #1131 on:** June 04, 2012, 02:52:59 PM »

Quote from: GH2001 on June 04, 2012, 02:41:13 PM

Ive learned that Hollywood has to take a lot of liberties in movies to make the plot better when it comes to true stories especially. War movies do it. Sports movies do it too. Ive seen good ones in both genres who have taken minor liberties and filled in gaps, and it still turn out ok - i.e. Secretariat, We Were Soldiers, Braveheart, Patriot, Invinceable. Few true stories have a full plot that needs no Hollywood intervention as far as telling the story. D Day and the life of Jesus are two of those exceptions.

I wouldnâ€™t watch jack shit about Saban.

Kaos · « **Reply #1132 on:** June 04, 2012, 03:19:53 PM »

Quote from: dallaswareagle on June 04, 2012, 02:52:59 PM

I wouldnâ€™t watch jack shit about Saban.

Another solid shot to the gap.

Dude is starting to hit for power. Could be juicing the way the ball is popping off the bat the last few weeks. Do we have a drug policy around here?

GH2001 · « **Reply #1133 on:** June 04, 2012, 03:22:59 PM »

Quote from: dallaswareagle on June 04, 2012, 02:52:59 PM

I wouldnâ€™t watch jack shit about Saban.

He's not Jesus...he's his evil, shorter twin brother.

Kaos · « **Reply #1134 on:** June 04, 2012, 03:23:47 PM »

Quote from: GH2001 on June 04, 2012, 02:41:13 PM

Ive learned that Hollywood has to take a lot of liberties in movies to make the plot better when it comes to true stories especially. War movies do it. Sports movies do it too. Ive seen good ones in both genres who have taken minor liberties and filled in gaps, and it still turn out ok - i.e. Secretariat, We Were Soldiers, Braveheart, Patriot, Invinceable. Few true stories have a full plot that needs no Hollywood intervention as far as telling the story. D Day and the life of Jesus are two of those exceptions.

When it comes to Moneyball it's just completely fraudulent to pretend that a bumbling first-baseman and a retread David Justice were the catalysts for that A's team.

Cy Young winner in Mulder. Also had Zito and Hudson. Probably the best rotation not named "The Braves" of that decade. Also had AL MVP in Miguel Tejada.

The movie completely glossed over their contributions -- which were killer.

As one somebody said back in the day "you don't have to be no genius manager or GM when you got a pitching rotation like that. Hell a monkey with a dartboard could fill out the roster card and get you 85 wins."

GH2001 · « **Reply #1135 on:** June 04, 2012, 03:35:04 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on June 04, 2012, 03:23:47 PM

When it comes to Moneyball it's just completely fraudulent to pretend that a bumbling first-baseman and a retread David Justice were the catalysts for that A's team.

Cy Young winner in Mulder. Also had Zito and Hudson. Probably the best rotation not named "The Braves" of that decade. Also had AL MVP in Miguel Tejada.

The movie completely glossed over their contributions -- which were killer.

As one somebody said back in the day "you don't have to be no genius manager or GM when you got a pitching rotation like that. Hell a monkey with a dartboard could fill out the roster card and get you 85 wins."

There can be something to sabermetrics. I don't think it works everytime, but it's a great thing to use for teams that aren't big market and can't spend the kind of money the Yankees do. Also, if every team did it, then it would be a useless technique.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #1136 on:** June 04, 2012, 04:16:07 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on June 04, 2012, 03:19:53 PM

Another solid shot to the gap.

Dude is starting to hit for power. Could be juicing the way the ball is popping off the bat the last few weeks. Do we have a drug policy around here?

No drugs, we just are so slow at work that I have now have time to concentrate on important matters.

The Six · « **Reply #1137 on:** June 07, 2012, 08:25:32 AM »

Men in Black 3 is a vast improvement over the dreck that was/is Men in Black 2.

Sure the ending is a little hokey but it's a fun ride. Josh Brolin nails the young Tommy Lee Jones. By the way, Tommy Lee Jones is one old looking dude.

GH2001 · « **Reply #1138 on:** June 07, 2012, 10:21:29 AM »

Quote from: J. Newcastle on June 07, 2012, 08:25:32 AM

Men in Black 3 is a vast improvement over the dreck that was/is Men in Black 2.

Sure the ending is a little hokey but it's a fun ride. Josh Brolin nails the young Tommy Lee Jones. By the way, Tommy Lee Jones is one old looking dude.

That's because he is an old dude.

Might check MIB3 out now that you said its better than the crap that was 1 and 2.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #1139 on:** June 07, 2012, 10:32:11 AM »

The first one was pretty decent. I thought the 2nd MIB sucked donkey balls.