Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Saniflush]

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Holy hell, how did I go through 25 years of life without seeing this movie?  I always thought those old Clint Eastwood Westerns were just another generation of John Wayne movies. 

Complete in almost every way possible except for the lack of naked chicks, but I think that would have detracted from the story a bit. 

I now have Fistful of Dollars and Once Upon a Time in the West in queue on Netflix.  Can't wait.

Also, Ecstasy of Gold is one of the most epic movie songs of all time. 

Have you watched "The Outlaw Josey Wales?"

[Token]

The lovely bones is quite possibly the worst movie that I have ever seen in my life.  I'm not sure how I managed to watch the entire movie, but it was a complete failure. 

[Kaos]

Have you watched "The Outlaw Josey Wales?"

One of my all time favorites. 

Worms gotta eat, too.

[Kaos]

Puss in Boots

So it's early in the morning and nothing's on.  Well, except for perhaps the hottest assortment of news and traffic morning reporters in human history on WEAR TV3.  I'm wasting time, looking for something to make background noise while I check emails and arrange a couple of meetings for next week.  And what do I find?

Puss in Boots.  Starring Christopher Walken as Puss.  That was, in itself, enough to cause me to stop and give it a try. 

Walken was absolutely ridiculous playing the titular cat with a slight sashay, some tortured singing and a few earnestly muddled lines about taking care of Master. 

But it was obvious that he was having a ball just being silly.  It was almost like what a dad does when he goes overboard telling his kid a bedtime story. 

Oh, the movie is dreadful.  The interjection of abysmal singing portions adds a further layer of absurdity. Haven't looked, but I guess nobody in the movie can or has ever acted in anything else again except Walken -- they were that bad.  Or at least they shouldn't have been in anything else.  But Walken?  You could believe he was a cat. 

There's one scene in the film that I found interesting.  When the miller's son is "rescued" by the king and brought to the castle they have a dance.  Of course he knows no dances so he reverts back to some corny moves he knew as a kid.  And everybody in the room follows suit and learns it.  I've seen that before (and done better) in A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. Since Puss came out three years prior to Knight's Tale, perhaps that scene was lifted from this film?

The movie was 96 minutes long.  No way in hell I could sit through the entire thing.  So I filpped between WEAR TV news (see below) and Puss.  I'd watch Walken gleefully skip through a scene and then go back to the news.   I'd never suggest that anyone buy or rent this film, but if you see it pop up on the menu, watch a couple of minutes of Walken's kitty.


WEAR TV NEWS

Pictures do no justice here...

[GH2001]

Puss in Boots

So it's early in the morning and nothing's on.  Well, except for perhaps the hottest assortment of news and traffic morning reporters in human history on WEAR TV3.  I'm wasting time, looking for something to make background noise while I check emails and arrange a couple of meetings for next week.  And what do I find?

Puss in Boots.  Starring Christopher Walken as Puss.  That was, in itself, enough to cause me to stop and give it a try. 

Walken was absolutely ridiculous playing the titular cat with a slight sashay, some tortured singing and a few earnestly muddled lines about taking care of Master. 

But it was obvious that he was having a ball just being silly.  It was almost like what a dad does when he goes overboard telling his kid a bedtime story. 

Oh, the movie is dreadful.  The interjection of abysmal singing portions adds a further layer of absurdity. Haven't looked, but I guess nobody in the movie can or has ever acted in anything else again except Walken -- they were that bad.  Or at least they shouldn't have been in anything else.  But Walken?  You could believe he was a cat. 

There's one scene in the film that I found interesting.  When the miller's son is "rescued" by the king and brought to the castle they have a dance.  Of course he knows no dances so he reverts back to some corny moves he knew as a kid.  And everybody in the room follows suit and learns it.  I've seen that before (and done better) in A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. Since Puss came out three years prior to Knight's Tale, perhaps that scene was lifted from this film?

The movie was 96 minutes long.  No way in hell I could sit through the entire thing.  So I filpped between WEAR TV news (see below) and Puss.  I'd watch Walken gleefully skip through a scene and then go back to the news.   I'd never suggest that anyone buy or rent this film, but if you see it pop up on the menu, watch a couple of minutes of Walken's kitty.


WEAR TV NEWS

Pictures do no justice here...

No - the pics are just fine. Id hit it...

[Saniflush]

One of my all time favorites. 

Worms gotta eat, too.

"Whooped'em again didn't we Josie"

[Townhallsavoy]

Have you watched "The Outlaw Josey Wales?"

Not yet.  But it's been recommended by many.  It's going in the queue folder in five minutes.

[chinook]

Zombieland

Not exactly what I expected, but a fun movie.  It was no Raising Arizona, but it had a few funny moments and didn't take itself seriously at all.  It's not laugh out loud comedy, it's not scare the shit out of you horror, but just a nice easy blend of fear and bemusement. 

No angst over the crazy situation, no underlying social commentary, no deeper hidden meaning.  Just four misfits (well, five for a while) making the best they can out of a really bad situation. 

Yeah there are crazy plot holes.  For instance how come the power is still on everywhere?  And don't they ever run out of gas?  Or bullets?  But that really doesn't matter all that much because it's not really meant to be taken seriously. 

Woody Harrellson dominates the film.  He's good enough that you'd almost like to see him in a serious zombie killing movie, but then you remember he'd have to do pathos and pass on the idea.  No, he fits better here. 

The nerdy, nebbish guy is interchangeable with any of the other hundred or so nerdy nebbish guys who populate thousands of other teen films.  I'm just glad they didn't get the Superbad guy (Cera) in this role because I'm a little tired of him. 

Emma Stone confuses me.  She's either hot or not and I lean to not. 

It's not a movie you'll buy and put on your shelf to treasure for years to come, but on a throwaway afternoon it would be pretty fun. 

Worth watching.

i can't disagree.

watched it last night in efforts to appease my normal tv viewing after the kids are sent to bed.  network tv blows monkey testicles and does nothing to fulfill my entertainment needs.

     

[Kaos]

Easy A

Emma Stone is great.  She plays basically the same role in every film, but it's a good role.  She's the very best thing about this movie.  She's good enough that she almost elevates it.  But not quite.  A surprisingly weak supporting cast is an albatross. Beyond that, the movie tries so hard to recreate the charm and allure of the John Hughes teen movies of the 80s that it forgets to be itself.  The movie features some B list and sliding stars including Phoebe from Friends, Lowell from Wings and a completely wasted Dr. Loomis from the Halloween reboot.  Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson steal the act of the Valley Girl's parents but add a drop of the parents from Pretty in Pink. 

Emma Stone is great.  Unfortunately she was surrounded by fading Disney/Nick stars who couldn't carry her weight.  Ally of Ally and AJ fame and Amanda Bynes of the Amanda Show fill major roles.  Both looked puffy faced and waxy.  Neither could act.  The film did give the underappreciated Lalaine, who once played Lizzie McGuire's best friend, a brief moment of screen time.   The male leads were dreadful. The woodchuck channeled Mark Ruffalo on prozac and had zero magnetism and less chemistry with Emma.

As with so many films, a good premise bogged down by poor acting and an undernourished plot.

Not a bad beginning as the primary lead, but Emma is capable of more.  Interested to see her take on Mary Jane in the upcoming Spiderman reboot.

[Buzz Killington]

We rented it over the weekend and only made it through about 30 minutes.  Worst.  Movie.  Ever.

This movie made The Other Guys and Dinner For Schmucks look like Academy Award winners.

[Kaos]

The Town
Good film.  Affleck is a better director than he is an actor.  A little unbelivable in the relationship with the female lead, but it was a movie after all.  Worth watching. 

The Expendables
Ugh. Should have been called The Unwatchables.  It should have been a fun romp through exploding scenery. Instead in Stallone's morose hands it morphed into a bleary overwrought unfunny mess.  Brooding? No thanks. Blow things up.

The Other Guys
Somebody shoot Will Ferrell.  Shoot him now.  Before he makes another dud.  Please.

Predators
Had so much promise.  Could have been so, so great.  But Adrien fucking Brody?  Are you shitting me? When the biggest thing on your body is your fucking nose you have no business trying to play an action lead -- unless your name is Karl Malden.  And Topher Grace?  Whoever was in charge of casting this movie should be dropped on an island full of blood-hungry aliens.  Even with the dreadful casting the movie could have delivered.  The effects were good, the Predators amazing.  And then it got to the end and you went... what?  Just die already. 

The Prince of Persia
Utterly fucking rotten.  Jake's british accent was pathetic.  The plot was stupid. The girl wasn't nearly hot enough to make it work.  Should have gone straight to DVD.  Want to see this move done 100000x better?  Watch The Scorpion King. 

Inception
Expected too much, I suppose.  Was just meh. Wasn't awed in the least.  Closer to yawn than awe.   

Valley Girl
A very underappreciated movie.  The soundtrack is fantastic. Nick Cage turns in one of his two career performances that are tolerable. Julie is, like, totally awesome.  There are no great life lessons to be learned and some of it is formulaic, but Valley Girll remains one of the best of the 80s teen comedy genre.  VG, Fast Times at Ridgement High, The Last American Virgin (another underappreciated movie) and The Breakfast Club should be mandatory viewing.   

[Kaos]

We rented it over the weekend and only made it through about 30 minutes.  Worst.  Movie.  Ever.

This movie made The Other Guys and Dinner For Schmucks look like Academy Award winners.

You clearly don't appreciate Emma. 

I've seen way, way, way worse movies than this one. 

[wesfau2]

The Town
Good film.  Affleck is a better director than he is an actor.  A little unbelivable in the relationship with the female lead, but it was a movie after all.  Worth watching. 

Agree that Affleck is better behind the camera than in front.  I think that the guy from the Hurt Locker should get some credit, though.  He's doing tortured male lead better than anyone else lately.

The Other Guys
Somebody shoot Will Ferrell.  Shoot him now.  Before he makes another dud.  Please.

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would.  I was burned out on the Ferrell character a while ago, but he is actually...wait for it...restrained in this movie.  Mark Wahlberg is actually the guy reaching for laughs....to great effect.  I thought this movie was underrated.  Not going to win any academy awards, and not the basis for a night of serious movie watching, but a fun time-passer.

Predators
Had so much promise.  Could have been so, so great.  But Adrien fucking Brody?  Are you shitting me? When the biggest thing on your body is your fucking nose you have no business trying to play an action lead -- unless your name is Karl Malden.  And Topher Grace?  Whoever was in charge of casting this movie should be dropped on an island full of blood-hungry aliens.  Even with the dreadful casting the movie could have delivered.  The effects were good, the Predators amazing.  And then it got to the end and you went... what?  Just die already. 

Agree that Brody is not an action hero.  The supporting cast made it fun for me, though.  Walton Goggins ("Shane" from The Shield, and "Boyd Crowder" from Justified)...that guy is awesome.  It was a mindless popcorn movie...enjoy it for that.

The Prince of Persia
Utterly fucking rotten.  Jake's british accent was pathetic.  The plot was stupid. The girl wasn't nearly hot enough to make it work.  Should have gone straight to DVD.  Want to see this move done 100000x better?  Watch The Scorpion King. 

Didn't see it...don't know why you would with any expectations.  The video game was lame and I would expect the movie to be as well.

Inception
Expected too much, I suppose.  Was just meh. Wasn't awed in the least.  Closer to yawn than awe.   

Have to really disagree with you here.  I enjoyed this movie on a superficial level: the acting was top-notch from DiCaprio to Page to Gordon-Leavitt to Caine.  And I also enjoyed it on an intellectual level.

The plot was layered and nuanced.  Nolan has a knack for keeping the audience guessing.  Whether it was Memento, The Dark Knight  or Inception, you can watch the movie for its surface story/meaning, or you can walk away wondering about the untold story for days.  Did Cobb end up in the States, absolved of his alleged crimes, or did he end up succumbing to the allure of the dream state?  Was his totem the spinning top he took from Mol's safe or was his another, that we never got to see?  Fun movie to watch and unpack.

Valley Girl
A very underappreciated movie.  The soundtrack is fantastic. Nick Cage turns in one of his two career performances that are tolerable. Julie is, like, totally awesome.  There are no great life lessons to be learned and some of it is formulaic, but Valley Girll remains one of the best of the 80s teen comedy genre.  VG, Fast Times at Ridgement High, The Last American Virgin (another underappreciated movie) and The Breakfast Club should be mandatory viewing.

Fuck's sake.  You're going to bag on Inception and then positively review Valley Girl?  Yeah, fun movie, but not in the same zip code as Nolan's movies. 

[Kaos]

Agree that Affleck is better behind the camera than in front.  I think that the guy from the Hurt Locker should get some credit, though.  He's doing tortured male lead better than anyone else lately.

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would.  I was burned out on the Ferrell character a while ago, but he is actually...wait for it...restrained in this movie.  Mark Wahlberg is actually the guy reaching for laughs....to great effect.  I thought this movie was underrated.  Not going to win any academy awards, and not the basis for a night of serious movie watching, but a fun time-passer.

Agree that Brody is not an action hero.  The supporting cast made it fun for me, though.  Walton Goggins ("Shane" from The Shield, and "Boyd Crowder" from Justified)...that guy is awesome.  It was a mindless popcorn movie...enjoy it for that.

Didn't see it...don't know why you would with any expectations.  The video game was lame and I would expect the movie to be as well.

Have to really disagree with you here.  I enjoyed this movie on a superficial level: the acting was top-notch from DiCaprio to Page to Gordon-Leavitt to Caine.  And I also enjoyed it on an intellectual level.

The plot was layered and nuanced.  Nolan has a knack for keeping the audience guessing.  Whether it was Memento, The Dark Knight  or Inception, you can watch the movie for its surface story/meaning, or you can walk away wondering about the untold story for days.  Did Cobb end up in the States, absolved of his alleged crimes, or did he end up succumbing to the allure of the dream state?  Was his totem the spinning top he took from Mol's safe or was his another, that we never got to see?  Fun movie to watch and unpack.


Fuck's sake.  You're going to bag on Inception and then positively review Valley Girl?  Yeah, fun movie, but not in the same zip code as Nolan's movies.

I enjoy Three Musketeers. 

I enjoy prime rib. 

When I get a Three Musketeers (Valley Girl) that's what I expect.  Candy. I value it as such. 

When I order Prime Rib (Inception) I expect a litttle more.  I don't compare it to candy.  It's not the same thing.

Inception was beautifully shot.  The acting was good.  I like the Juno chick.  At the end of the day, though, I just didn't care where he ended up.  Don't care if he was dreaming or awake. Part of the problem I had with it was everybody in the world telling me it was the greatest movie ever, it was so thought provoking, blah, blah, blah.  It didn't do it for me.  Sorry.  Plus, just like with the huge supposed "twist" in Shutter Island, I'd figured out the deal way, way, way before the reveal. 

Same with Repo Men.  Good actors, great story, well shot. And then the "you're shitting me, you really copped out" ending?   Surely they're not going to be Bobby Ewing in the shower obvious.  And then they are.  No.  Booo. 

Oh, as for Prince of Persia, why would I watch it with any expectations?  Four words:  Pirates of the Caribbean.   Shitty Disney ride.  One of the most surprising, enjoyable movies I've ever seen.   I expected half that with Prince, seeing as the concept was basically the same.  Didn't get it.  Just abysmally bad.  It bordered on unwatchable. 

[Kaos]

Salt

Angelina Jolie just doesn't do it for me.  She's a decent enough actress, though, but I grew a little tired of watching her pout and slink before improbably blowing shit up. 

She was a double, double, double agent or just a double, double?  Or maybe a double, double, double, double? 

Movie was almost exactly what you'd expect it to be with a couple of plot twists thrown in. 

As with far too many movies the ending was totally unrealistic. 

Better than The Expendables. 

[wesfau2]

Plus, just like with the huge supposed "twist" in Shutter Island, I'd figured out the deal way, way, way before the reveal. 

Tell me the deal and the reveal.  I go back and forth on how that is supposed to end.  Shutter Island as well.  I don't think that one is as cut and dry as you would have me believe.

[Token]

Speaking of Boyd Crowder, just finished watching the season premiere.  Looks good, but can't really tell how much of a role Goggins will play in this season.

[Kaos]

Wall Street II: Rise of the Decpticons

I'm tired of being disappointed.  I expected a lot from this movie.  Not the slow, plodding, meandering story.  I couldn't get attached to any of the characters.  Another morality tale from crackpot Oliver Stone. 

Worst of all was the music.  It was completely out of place from the opening credits. Dreadful musical selections. Fucking TERRIBLE.  Gawd fucking AWFUL. The music alone was an epic disaster.  I hated every second of it.  Every note made my skin crawl. 

LeBouf needs to eat a sandwich.  He weighed like 18 pounds.  The girl was completely unattractive and unsexy and unappealing. Douglas hammed up his part. 

The bike racing scene was stupid. 

I don't know, it just left me wishing it would hurry the fuck up and be over.  That's not the sign of a good movie. 

[CCTAU]

Speaking of Boyd Crowder, just finished watching the season premiere.  Looks good, but can't really tell how much of a role Goggins will play in this season.

I haven't watched the premier yet, but Boyd/Shane makes the show what it is. When he first came on the show, I expected more Shane and got a big surprise. They can go a ton of different ways with this show. It'll be interesting to see where they take it.

[GH2001]

Tell me the deal and the reveal.  I go back and forth on how that is supposed to end.  Shutter Island as well.  I don't think that one is as cut and dry as you would have me believe.

I thought shutter island was pretty good. I'll admit it took me by surprise. It was well done. The recent movie that disappointed to me was Devil. Expected this huge twist that never was. Shamylan should have saved Sixth Sense for last. I now expect too much of him I think.