Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Kaos · « **Reply #120 on:** December 22, 2009, 12:05:42 PM »

Quote from: Godfather on December 22, 2009, 11:42:57 AM

K..2 that you need to see, if you have not...Inglorious Bastards and Burn After Reading.

Burn after reading, yes. IB not yet.

Nothing But the Truth

Is there really any way to fuck up a movie with Kate Beckinsale in a primary role? Adam Sandler says yes. So, too, do the directors of Nothing But the Truth.

How do you fuck up a Beckinsale movie? First show her married to Ross from Friends. As if that nerdy fuck has a shot in hell. Then show a sex scene between Kate and nerd-fuck Ross that shows only him on top grunting like a monkey. Then show Beckinsale in a dreary jail for most of the movie with no makeup and harsh lighting.

Slow, plodding plot. Big cast including Alan Alda, Matt Dillon as a cutthroat federal prosecutor (chuckle at his shitty performance) and the nerd dude from ER as a pissed off attorney (another chuckle-worthy performance).

I didn't even want to fuck Beckinsale after this bore-fest. What an awful pile of dreck.

and...

Surveillance
Bill Pullman, Julia Ormand and the freaky alien from that John Lithgow TV show. Fuck, John Lithgow, by the way. I hate him.

This movie had a great concept and could have easily been a creepy super win at the box office. Fantastic premise.

But the execution was so abysmally poor, it absolutely REEKED.

Pullman, whom I usually like, was just god awful. He failed on every level to bring authenticity to his role.

I won't give away the ending since some of you may decide to use this movie as torture should you ever catch some terrorists.

Nothing aggravates me more than a good premise that fails to deliver. This ramps fail up to a whole new level.

Godfather · « **Reply #121 on:** December 22, 2009, 12:11:03 PM »

I have never heard of either of those.

Jumbo · « **Reply #122 on:** December 22, 2009, 01:05:19 PM »

Quote from: Godfather on December 22, 2009, 11:42:57 AM

K..2 that you need to see, if you have not...Inglorious Bastards and Burn After Reading.

Bastards was a great movie, be prepared to read for 3 hours.

Saniflush · « **Reply #123 on:** December 22, 2009, 01:12:24 PM »

Quote from: Jumbo on December 22, 2009, 01:05:19 PM

Bastards was a great movie, be prepared to read for 3 hours.

Could have been 1.5 hours in lieu of 3

Jumbo · « **Reply #124 on:** December 22, 2009, 01:17:04 PM »

Quote from: Saniflush on December 22, 2009, 01:12:24 PM

Could have been 1.5 hours in lieu of 3

They made every scene dragggg except the end.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #125 on:** December 25, 2009, 10:52:37 PM »

Went to see Sherlock Holmes but it was sold out. Opted for "Armored" with Matt Dillon and Lawrence Fishburne. 3.5 out of 10. Plot is an armored car heist attempt through an inside job. Action packed in the second half but VERY predictable. Dillon and Fishburne play the bad guy role pretty good but overall, it's barely a rental.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #126 on:** December 25, 2009, 11:10:06 PM »

Just saw Avatar.

My review -

Visually, it's the greatest movie of all time. Nothing comes close to the highly detailed, imaginative CGI that went into this film. It really was remarkable.

Actual movie? Meh. I've seen it before. I usually write off the critics that attempt to call out action flicks with political propaganda. However, this film was pretty heavy on the "America attacks the innocent" theme.

Decent movie. Worth paying to see it in the theaters just to see how pretty it is.

AUChizad · « **Reply #127 on:** December 28, 2009, 12:17:49 PM »

I just saw it in IMAX 3-D.

I've never seen an IMAX movie before, but seeing that movie that way was freaking amazing.

I highly recommend seeing it this way if you can.

I agree about the playing up America attacking the innocent theme. I was rolling my eyes at a couple of poorly disguised parallells they were trying to draw.

In the same night I saw another movie of note: The Box.

It's Richard Kelley (Donnie Darko) so expect weirdness to the point of confusion.

This was a 70's period piece and it really felt like I was watching a movie from that time. It felt like The Shining with a little bit of Creepshow thrown in for good measure, but with better special effects. Very Stanley Kubrick-esque.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #128 on:** December 28, 2009, 12:56:44 PM »

Quote from: AUChizad on December 28, 2009, 12:17:49 PM

I agree about the playing up America attacking the innocent theme. I was rolling my eyes at a couple of poorly disguised parallells they were trying to draw.

You mean these quotes:

"It'll be a shock and awe campaign"
Numerous marines shouting "GET YOU SOME!"
"It just so happens that those primitive people are sitting on top of a gold mine that we want"

and also the multiple tribal tattoos.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #129 on:** December 28, 2009, 01:07:22 PM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on December 28, 2009, 12:56:44 PM

You mean these quotes:

"It'll be a shock and awe campaign"
Numerous marines shouting "GET YOU SOME!"
"It just so happens that those primitive people are sitting on top of a gold mine that we want"

and also the multiple tribal tattoos.

The tongue-trill scream that the natives did was only missing a few AK-47 rounds blasted into the sky to complete the Arab stereotype.

Kaos · « **Reply #130 on:** December 28, 2009, 01:23:05 PM »

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Not a sequel, but a prequel. Explained the genesis of the war between vampires and werewolves. No Kate Beckinsale, which was disappointing but Rhona Mitra filled in admirably. (See below)

The movie wasn't as good as Underworld but wasn't as sprawlingly bad as Underworld: Evolution. If Underworld never existed, this movie would have done well as a stand-alone. Because Underworld did exist, however, it suffers from the inevitable comparisons. It wasn't as gruesome or gory as either of the other two movies and it actually had a much more coherent storyline than either of the other two.

It was a decent movie, but nothing really to elevate it from the routine. It told a story those who watched Underworld really already knew, but added a little detail here and there. I'd watch it again.

The guy playing Victor (who also plays Squidward or whatever in the last two Pirates of the Caribbean movies) really grates on me with his funky accent.

AUChizad · « **Reply #131 on:** December 28, 2009, 06:25:18 PM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on December 28, 2009, 01:07:22 PM

The tongue-trill scream that the natives did was only missing a few AK-47 rounds blasted into the sky to complete the Arab stereotype.

Don't forget the General referring to the tribes defending themselves as acts of terror that must be combatted with terror by means of a preemptive strike.

Kaos · « **Reply #132 on:** December 28, 2009, 11:09:50 PM »

Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey Jr. is pretty amazing. Perfect marriage of character and actor.

A very entertaining movie. Bit of a muddled plot, but really well done overall. I'd see it again. And will.

I wouldn't say run to the theaters to see it, but I'm glad I didn't wait for the DVD. I go to the theater to be entertained and I totally was.

Downey might have supplanted Johnny Depp as my favorite actor. He's not as pretty, but he's just as clever. Ironman, Tropic Thunder and this? The guy is superb.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #133 on:** December 29, 2009, 12:25:34 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 28, 2009, 11:09:50 PM

Downey might have supplanted Johnny Depp as my favorite actor. He's not as pretty, but he's just as clever. Ironman, Tropic Thunder and this? The guy is superb.

Agreed.

Godfather · « **Reply #134 on:** December 29, 2009, 10:34:22 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 28, 2009, 11:09:50 PM

Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey Jr. is pretty amazing. Perfect marriage of character and actor.

A very entertaining movie. Bit of a muddled plot, but really well done overall. I'd see it again. And will.

I wouldn't say run to the theaters to see it, but I'm glad I didn't wait for the DVD. I go to the theater to be entertained and I totally was.

Downey might have supplanted Johnny Depp as my favorite actor. He's not as pretty, but he's just as clever. Ironman, Tropic Thunder and this? The guy is superb.

I agree on all of it.

Token · « **Reply #135 on:** December 29, 2009, 11:01:01 AM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 28, 2009, 11:09:50 PM

Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey Jr. is pretty amazing. Perfect marriage of character and actor.

A very entertaining movie. Bit of a muddled plot, but really well done overall. I'd see it again. And will.

I wouldn't say run to the theaters to see it, but I'm glad I didn't wait for the DVD. I go to the theater to be entertained and I totally was.

Downey might have supplanted Johnny Depp as my favorite actor. He's not as pretty, but he's just as clever. Ironman, Tropic Thunder and this? The guy is superb.

Downey's role in Tropic Thunder was masterful. Will definitely check it out, but it will be at least 2 weeks.

Kaos · « **Reply #136 on:** December 29, 2009, 02:16:11 PM »

Bright Lights, Big City

Don't know how (or if) I missed this during the cocaine 80s, but I stumbled across this movie last night while doing some work and started watching it hoping it had a point.

Less than Zero (another Downey movie) had a point. It was a solid portrayal of a binging addict and his obsessions. It featured then super hot Jami Gertz

but suffered slightly from trying to force the career of Andrew McCarthy. Would have been better with Rob Lowe or Keifer or Sheen in the lead.

This? Well, it did have Phoebe Cates (see below). Keifer sort of filled in the role James Spader made so creepily effective in Less Than Zero.

But Michael J. Fox? The dude can't act. He was about as convincing as a coke-addled yuppie as the Geico Lizard would be if he attempted to star as Batman. I didn't remember just what a lousy actor Fox really was. I know he's got the disease and all and I know his wife is sort of untalented hot, too, (see below) but he just absolutely fails as an actor except in select roles. Zero believable chemistry with Cates, overwrought drama with mom Diane Weist, just a pitiful sludge of a movie.

Garbage.

Maybe I didn't miss it in the 80s. Maybe I just blocked it from my memory.

Phoebe Cates

Tracy Pollan

CCTAU · « **Reply #137 on:** December 29, 2009, 08:45:58 PM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on December 25, 2009, 11:10:06 PM

Just saw Avatar.

My review -

Actual movie? Meh. I've seen it before.

It followed every cowboy and indian flick ever made, ceptin the injuns was 10 feet tall and blue.

And did that Sigourney Weaver look hot or what as a Navi'??

AUChizad · « **Reply #138 on:** December 30, 2009, 02:21:23 AM »

Quote from: CCTAU on December 29, 2009, 08:45:58 PM

It followed every cowboy and indian flick ever made, ceptin the injuns was 10 feet tall and blue.

And did that Sigourney Weaver look hot or what as a Navi'??

Was I the only one turned on by the main indigenous chick?

Is it weird that a CGI 9 foot tall blue alien with a tail, pointy ears, etc. Did it for me?

Jumbo · « **Reply #139 on:** December 30, 2009, 04:15:10 AM »

Jennifer's Body is a fucked up movie, Megan Fox looks smokin' hot for some of the movie.