Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Snaggletiger]

So, I'm a huge Sherlock Holmes fan.  Read the entire collection and seen numerous movies through the years.  Really enjoyed Robert Downey Jr's version except I thought they took the disheveled, don't give a fuck look a bit too far.  Doyle's character was known to have some "addictions" but rarely did he ever portray him as looking like he was at rock bottom and needing to lean on Watson so much.  Regardless, the movie was great in my book.

So far, I've heard from a couple of people that hit "A game of shadows" and they both went back the next night because they enjoyed it that much.  Anyone gone yet?  Heard from others who have?  It'll be next week before I have a free night to go but I'm pretty pumped about it. 

[wesfau2]

So, I'm a huge Sherlock Holmes fan.  Read the entire collection and seen numerous movies through the years.  Really enjoyed Robert Downey Jr's version except I thought they took the disheveled, don't give a fuck look a bit too far.  Doyle's character was known to have some "addictions" but rarely did he ever portray him as looking like he was at rock bottom and needing to lean on Watson so much.  Regardless, the movie was great in my book.

So far, I've heard from a couple of people that hit "A game of shadows" and they both went back the next night because they enjoyed it that much.  Anyone gone yet?  Heard from others who have?  It'll be next week before I have a free night to go but I'm pretty pumped about it.

Great movie.  Saw it last Saturday.  You won't be disappointed.  It was quite a bit better than the first installment.

[Snaggletiger]

Great movie.  Saw it last Saturday.  You won't be disappointed.  It was quite a bit better than the first installment.

That's what both said.  Better than the first.  I may have to smoke one before I go. 

[Vandy Vol]

That's what both said.  Better than the first.  I may have to smoke one before I go.

Or eat some cocaine out of your BIL's ass.

[Snaggletiger]

Or eat some cocaine out of your BIL's ass.

Pfffft....but I will eat some weed laced brownies off his nipples.

[GH2001]

Great movie.  Saw it last Saturday.  You won't be disappointed.  It was quite a bit better than the first installment.

Saw it yesterday afternoon. Agree 100%.  Best movie I've seen in a while. Downey was the titz. Funniest part to me was where they show up to Watsons wedding drunk and passed out. Hilarious.

[Kaos]

Quantum of Solace

Quorum of Stupid.

Terrible movie.   Worse that it is a Bond movie. 

Fucking horrible.  Bond should be suave. Debonair. Smooth. Cool. Not a fucking bull blundering through a china shop.

Ridiculous load of shit. 

Rango told the story better. 

Awful movie.  Just awful. 

[Kaos]

Christmas Vacation

By my way of thinking, the greatest Christmas movie of all time.  One of the top ten movies of any kind in my mental list. 

Eminently quotable, solid casting choices, outstanding musical choices, silly yet sentimental.  This was John Hughes at his zenith before he crapped on his amazing legacy (Ferris Bueller, Weird Science, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Breakfast Club, Mr. Mom, The Great Outdoors and Uncle Buck for starters) with schlock like Beethoven 5, Drillbit Taylor, Baby's Day Out  and Dennis the Menace. 

I've seen it 10,000 times and still laugh when I'm supposed to laugh.  I still get a little lump in the throat watching Clark in the attic reminiscing about family times from days gone by.  I still find Ellen's open blouse pretty hot.  And she rocks the sweater, too. The kids are funny, the grandparents are awesome in their surly disposition and Aunt Bethany is priceless.  Best of the four Vacation movies by far -- and they didn't even go anywhere.

Fletch and Caddyshack included, it's the defining moment of Chevy Chase's career. 

A Christmas Story is great.  It's a Wonderful Life is fantastic (and very, very long).  White Christmas and Bells of St. Mary's meh.  Home Alone (I and II), First Blood, Die Hard, Jingle All the Way, Gremlins, The Santa Clause, Miracle on 34th Street, Holiday Inn, Scrooged, Trading Places, A Christmas Carol (GC Scott, not the Disney freak-fest) etc are all good in their own ways.  Used to love Rudolph and the Rankin Bass animations but looking at them now?  Creepy just a bit. Frosty is still pretty good.  Love Jimmy Durante.

Christmas with the Kranks is a shit-filled punch bowl.  Four Christmases sucks Fred Willard's ass.  Surviving Christmas is dreadful despite a star-loaded cast that included Tony Soprano, Kelly Bundy, Daredevil and Kate McCallister (from Home Alone).    Fred Claus is worse than a ruptured donkey spleen.

It's not Christmas without Vacation, Elf, The Grinch (cartoon, not the Jim Carey abomination) and A Charlie Brown Christmas. 

[Token]

I'm surprised you mentioned Elf in a good way.  And I still enjoy watching Scrooged.  Maybe it's just Bill Murray I like.  But I agree, Christmas Vacation is by far the best Christmas movie. 

[JR4AU]

Because of the things going on with family lately, I had no time to sit down and watch the Christmas Movies I always watch.  The must see Christmas flicks for me are A Christmas Story (I know every line before it comes), and It's a Wonderful Life.  You cannot dislike Jimmy Stewart.   The rest?  Some entertaining, some just meh. 

[Kaos]

I'm surprised you mentioned Elf in a good way.  And I still enjoy watching Scrooged.  Maybe it's just Bill Murray I like.  But I agree, Christmas Vacation is by far the best Christmas movie.

It's the only Will Ferrell movie that is tolerable.  It's his defining moment, too.  It should have been the alpha and omega of his career. 

[Snaggletiger]

Saw the new Sherlock Holmes this weekend.  Damn fine flick.  Not sure if I liked it better than the first or not.  Loved them both.  I think there was more action and funny lines in this one but I found the plot harder to follow.  Didn't really come together until over half way in the movie.  But, RDJ's acting made up for it. 

Yep, saw A Christmas Story about 2 1/2 times.  Never ever gets old.  My dad has the leg lamp and puts it up in the front window every year.   

[Kaos]

Saw the new Sherlock Holmes this weekend.  Damn fine flick.  Not sure if I liked it better than the first or not.  Loved them both.  I think there was more action and funny lines in this one but I found the plot harder to follow.  Didn't really come together until over half way in the movie.  But, RDJ's acting made up for it. 

Yep, saw A Christmas Story about 2 1/2 times.  Never ever gets old.  My dad has the leg lamp and puts it up in the front window every year.

I've got an order in for the Christmas Vacation Advent House.  Expensive but cool. 

[GH2001]

I've got an order in for the Christmas Vacation Advent House.  Expensive but cool.

While you order that, rws is ordering this.....

http://www.christmasvacationcollectibles.com/productDetails.cfm?merchID=100914214730012112&category=100430112015642710&position=1

[Kaos]

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Holy jeez what a load of festering monkey crap.  And I expected so much.  The original lifts this listless load of orangutan excrement above its head and throws it over the Hoover Dam.  The Mark Wahlberg vehicle snickers at this. 

Forget the special effects which were pretty decent, the rest of the movie was shallow, vapid and stupid.

First I've got serious plausibility issues:

1) Abscond with an ape, keep it in your house for EIGHT years and nobody is the wiser?
2) "I tested it on my father! It worked. I have no evidence of such, but it did."  Right! Cheerio! You'll have all the resources you need, start testing on chimps immediately!
3) Abscond with copious amounts of an experimental drug and nobody is the wiser
4) There's a prison full of orphan monkeys in San Francisco being mistreated by a stooge
5) Dude dates girl for FIVE YEARS, neither age a day, change clothes or hairstyles and she has no idea his pet monkey is a little brighter than the average chimp -- and she's a chimp specialist vet?
6) Monkey bites a dude's finger off and he just gets shipped to monkey prison and can have visitation? Nobody questions where the monkey comes from?  Nobody is the wiser?  Sorry. Nancy Grace has round the clock monkey coverage for several weeks.
7) Dude gets exposed to virus, nobody pays much attention and then he's absent from work for several weeks and who cares? 
8) Crazed monkey gets shot dead in rampage and everybody keeps their job? They go on working on the same formula?


I've got character issues.

1) When somebody chides John Travolta for being a shitty actor, he chuckles, wags his finger and says four words: Pulp Fiction, James Franco.  He was awesome in Pulp Fiction.  James Franco makes Travolta look like James Mason or Paul Newman.   Franco was about as convincing as a scientist as Kim Kardashian would have been.  He was a major disappointment.  His lines were delivered with all the emotion and intensity of a warmed over box of Ramen noodles.  He was abysmal.  Absolutely abysmal and he rendered the entire film impotent with his lack of range.  A terrible, terrible performance, one of the worst I've ever seen. 
2) Freida Pinto.  Okay to look at.  Brought nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero to the film.  The dramatic bridge kiss made me want to vomit it was so cheesy. 
3) John Lithgow.  Oh dear lord, John did you really need the money that much?  Your work on Dexter a couple of years ago wasn't nearly as good as it was made out to be and this awkward performance sealed it.  The nod before dying?  I cawed mawkish laughter at that cheese fest.
4) The rest of the cast which was apparently taken directly from a porn set.  No, make that a cast of porn understudies.  Terrible in every single respect.  Just blithering horrible. 

I've got all kinds of issues with the writing.  Too many to list.  The cheese factor was turned all the way to 11. 

This was no masterpiece.  It was no significant series reboot.  It was an abomination.  In the pantheon of POA films this one ranks dead last in my opinion.   It's worse than the ridiculous Beneath the Planet of the Apes and it even fails in comparison to the short-lived TV series. 

This film had some decent special effects.  Too bad it sacrificed every thing else to promote them.  I'd rather have had a little less CGIApe and a lot better acting and story. 

Dreadful movie that took a kong-sized dump on one of my favorite film franchises.  Speaking of, this was worse than the Jack Black Kong film in monkey moviedom IMO. 

Hated it. 

[Godfather]

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
 
And I expected so much. 

This is your first problem.

Actually I'll tell you what my main issue is with remakes. They tried to make this a serious movie. Problem is that the original while trying to be serious comes off as campy and funny. Actors also knew how to act back then.  Hollywood doesn't realize that you can't create campy it has to come off naturally. That's why when they try it also fails horribly (ie Dukes of Hazzard, Charlie's Angels Movies).

Honestly I think you expect to much from movies. Maybe it's because I don't pay for them anymore. Most of the time I just want to watch something for 2 hours and forget about life's issues. If I don't look at my watch during a movie then it must be decent. Movie was entertaining, but I wouldn't watch it again.

[Kaos]

Honestly I think you expect to much from movies. Maybe it's because I don't pay for them anymore.

You pay.  Whether it's a rental fee, a Netflix sub, HBO/Showtime/Starz sub, DirecTV package or whatever you in some way pay.  Unless you're getting 147 cease and desist letters a day and enjoy federal prison, that is.

I expect not to be insulted.  I expect the writers to be at least as intelligent as I am.  I expect things to fit within the constraints of the film's intent.  I expect actors to make me forget they are acting.  I expect casting choices to fit the roles.  James "Duh" Franco as a genetic engineer?  Fail of epic proportions. 

I expect grand sagas to be grand, comedies to be funny (not just gross and stupid), dramas to be dramatic.  I demand to be entertained.  My demands are not often met. 

Movie making shouldn't be that hard.  The story in Apes was a good one.  In the right hands (creatively and acting-wise) it could have been a fantastic cautionary tale.  Instead you had two cardboard cutouts, a CGI monkey who was a better actor than any of the leads, a prissy John Lithgow whose primary emoting was done by his hair and plot gaps so big Onterrio would run through them without ever considering the sideline.  Good concept, poorly executed.

[Vandy Vol]

Unless you're getting 147 cease and desist letters a day and enjoy federal prison, that is.

 

[Godfather]

Seedbox.learn.it.   I do pay for DTV though so yeah they get me there

[Kaos]

Seedbox.learn.it.   I do pay for DTV though so yeah they get me there

Seedbox = vagina.   

Explain, Lucy.