Get Him To The Greek
I expected a festering turd. I got a turd but it didn't fester.
Jonah Hill wasn't quite as loathsome as he has been in other roles, but I still hated his ass. Movie would have been so much better without that lousy fuck in it.
I really wish Judd Apatow would try just a little to reach for some quality humor because on the rare occasions he wipes the shit from his mouth you see glimmers of hope that he might actually use whatever gift he has. And then he dives right back into the very bottom of the cesspool.
The guy isn't a visionary. He's not a great comedic director. He doesn't get subtlety, he fails at situational comedy, he can't get his head out of the toilet long enough to develop honest characters and give them emotional responses that could lead to humor. Face it. Apatow movies, by and large, suck complete and total ass. He uses a rubber mallet when a finishing hammer would serve better. It's like he only knows one volume and he keeps it turned to braying jackass stupidity 24/7.
I hate Jonah Hill. That miserable bastard made this movie almost unwatchable and that's sad because almost everybody else was passable. Brand played himself, so that was easy. The girlfriend had to dig deep into her actress training and pretend to be attracted to that filthy Hill son of a bitch, so she should get an Oscar or two for that. Puff, P-, Diddly, Dirty D or whatever the fuck he calls himself these days was adequate in his role and had a few funny lines.
The neat resolution of the relationship between the disgusting Hill and the slightly cavewoman girlfriend was asinine and was clearly written with no women in the room. You ass dial your girlfriend four times while you're fucking/about to fuck/attempting to fuck/stoned and high in a week? She's not going to let your diseased and drugged out friend go down on her for kicks and then let that all be a wash. Fuck no. That shit is OVER, brother. If you do get back in that house you have no hand whatsoever and you do whatever the fuck she says whenever the fuck she says it. You never, ever, ever, ever live that down. Ever. And you don't bury the hatchet with the dude who suggested the menage the same day, either. Nope. That shit will be indelibly burned into your mind and will destroy the friendship and the romance. Done. Toast. Fuck all ya'll.
I expected to hate this film with a roaring, flaming, burning intensity. That I didn't hate all of it is a mild victory, I suppose. I've seen worse.
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