Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[GH2001]

Anyone see the original "Straw Dogs" from the 70's with Hoffman?

There is a remake coming out in a couple of weeks. Instead of Wales, it takes place in Southern Mississippi. Looks decent.

Im hearing from most that this movie blows donkey bollocks.

[Kaos]

Morning Glory

Rachel McAdams at the height of her earnest can-do bubbliness as the producer of a failing morning show. 

Heavy hitting supporting cast including Harrison Ford, Harrison Ford's socks, Diane Keaton, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Wilson and John Pankow.

This is another of the new Netflix "oops" deliveries as it wasn't in my queue but appeared in the mailbox.  So I watched it anyway. 

Glad I did. 

Wasn't the best movie ever, but was oddly endearing.  So much better than the trite schlock of PostGrad.  At times McAdams was a little too gamin grin and Ford sometimes struggled to provide the right gravitas to the washed up news anchor role he pulled, but overall the tone and balance was pretty good.  I believed McAdams in the role and enjoyed her cuteness.

Story meandered to a predictable conclusion, but it wasn't a painful ride to get there.

And a few of the scenes with the weatherman made me laugh.  That's a plus.

I wonder sometimes why movies like this that aren't terrible just sort of disappear while other craptacular films get more attention.

[GH2001]

Morning Glory

Rachel McAdams at the height of her earnest can-do bubbliness as the producer of a failing morning show. 

Heavy hitting supporting cast including Harrison Ford, Harrison Ford's socks, Diane Keaton, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Wilson and John Pankow.

This is another of the new Netflix "oops" deliveries as it wasn't in my queue but appeared in the mailbox.  So I watched it anyway. 

Glad I did. 

Wasn't the best movie ever, but was oddly endearing.  So much better than the trite schlock of PostGrad.  At times McAdams was a little too gamin grin and Ford sometimes struggled to provide the right gravitas to the washed up news anchor role he pulled, but overall the tone and balance was pretty good.  I believed McAdams in the role and enjoyed her cuteness.

Story meandered to a predictable conclusion, but it wasn't a painful ride to get there.

And a few of the scenes with the weatherman made me laugh.  That's a plus.

I wonder sometimes why movies like this that aren't terrible just sort of disappear while other craptacular films get more attention.

She is super hot. That is all.

[Kaos]

She is super hot. That is all.

Gotta disagree.  She's more elfish cute.  Her eyes are too far apart and her mouth has a sharkish quality. 

Another one you guys harp on is Sandra Bullock.  I saw about 15 minutes of All About Steve.  The movie was so fucking horrendously shitty I turned it off and tried to sear it from my memory.  Beyond that, she was frighteningly heinously ugly in the film. 

Look at this surgically-butchered shit:




She looks like Michael Jackson after fighting a UFC match.  She's fucking hideous.   I would not touch this hag with Joan Rivers' dick. 

[wesfau2]

I wonder sometimes why movies like this that aren't terrible just sort of disappear while other craptacular films get more attention.

Because the world is full of stupid people.

[GH2001]

Gotta disagree.  She's more elfish cute.  Her eyes are too far apart and her mouth has a sharkish quality. 

 

You are one choosy begger.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

Because the world is full of stupid people.

Meet me at the mission at midnight, we'll divvy up there.

[Snaggletiger]

Meet me at the mission at midnight, we'll divvy up there.

I've got the pistol, so I get the pecos

[AU_Tiger_2000]

I've got the pistol, so I get the pecos

That seems fair.

[Snaggletiger]

That seems fair.

It's so refreshing to see these movie reviews

[wesfau2]

Meet me at the mission at midnight, we'll divvy up there.

I've got the pistol, so I get the pecos

You boys are scoring some big points with these posts.  I'm a Roger Clyne junkie.

Did you watch the Turbo Ocho DVD?  Awesomeness from start to finish.

[Kaos]

You are one choosy begger.

I choose not to beg.  Difference. 

[Kaos]

Get Him To The Greek

I expected a festering turd.  I got a turd but it didn't fester. 

Jonah Hill wasn't quite as loathsome as he has been in other roles, but I still hated his ass.  Movie would have been so much better without that lousy fuck in it. 

I really wish Judd Apatow would try just a little to reach for some quality humor because on the rare occasions he wipes the shit from his mouth you see glimmers of hope that he might actually use whatever gift he has.  And then he dives right back into the very bottom of the cesspool. 

The guy isn't a visionary. He's not a great comedic director.  He doesn't get subtlety, he fails at situational comedy, he can't get his head out of the toilet long enough to develop honest characters and give them emotional responses that could lead to humor.  Face it. Apatow movies, by and large, suck complete and total ass.  He uses a rubber mallet when a finishing hammer would serve better. It's like he only knows one volume and he keeps it turned to braying jackass stupidity 24/7.

I hate Jonah Hill. That miserable bastard made this movie almost unwatchable and that's sad because almost everybody else was passable.  Brand played himself, so that was easy.  The girlfriend had to dig deep into her actress training and pretend to be attracted to that filthy Hill son of a bitch, so she should get an Oscar or two for that.  Puff, P-, Diddly, Dirty D or whatever the fuck he calls himself these days was adequate in his role and had a few funny lines. 

The neat resolution of the relationship between the disgusting Hill and the slightly cavewoman girlfriend was asinine and was clearly written with no women in the room.  You ass dial your girlfriend four times while you're fucking/about to fuck/attempting to fuck/stoned and high in a week?  She's not going to let your diseased and drugged out friend go down on her for kicks and then let that all be a wash.  Fuck no.  That shit is OVER, brother.  If you do get back in that house you have no hand whatsoever and you do whatever the fuck she says whenever the fuck she says it.  You never, ever, ever, ever live that down.  Ever.  And you don't bury the hatchet with the dude who suggested the menage the same day, either.  Nope.  That shit will be indelibly burned into your mind and will destroy the friendship and the romance.  Done.  Toast.  Fuck all ya'll. 

I expected to hate this film with a roaring, flaming, burning intensity.  That I didn't hate all of it is a mild victory, I suppose.  I've seen worse. 

[Kaos]

Hachi: A Dog's Tale

Richard Gere, Joan Allen and George Costanza in a sweet and touching movie about a dog who understood the meaning of "All In." 

If you don't feel a little something when Joan sees the dog after an extended absence, you don't like dogs or you aren't human. 

Not a cinematic masterpiece by any stretch, but a very solid depiction of a small New England town that became a community home for loyal Hachi.  Did a good job of capturing the daily walk in the small town (I think it was supposed to be in Rhode Island, I've been to some of the places were it was shot) and gently and believably laid out the steadily growing bond between Hachi and Gere. 

I don't understand why Joan had to move, but that was the only thing that made no sense to me.  Why move?  What was the point of that?

I also don't understand why a beautifully shot and well framed story like this, one that has a relatively broad appeal just gets shit on by Sony. 

It never got a theatrical release in the US (made $45 million overseas) and wasn't promoted at all.

Meanwhile, utter donkey shit like "Smurfs" which has no socially redeeming value gets a massive marketing push and pulls in $500 million.  Fuck a smurf. 

 I wonder if the name of the film wasn't problematic in itself.  I resisted watching it because "A Dog's Tale" didn't interest me all that much.  My mistake.

Also a little disappointed to discover that while Hachi was real, he lived in Japan.  Before WWII. 

[Kaos]

Thor

Thud. 

At least it had Kat Dennings, who I find delectable.  Too bad she spend the entire movie swaddled in layers of clothes and a goofy toboggan. 

Everything that makes Iron Man cool and suave and funny and enjoyable was missing in this film. 

Big cast. Wasted most of it.  Renee Russo: Wasted.  Bootstrap Bill: Wasted. Idris Elba: Wasted.

Where was Nick Fury? 

I think I'll pass when they finally start linking all these movies up like comics.  And I'll pass on the Justice League, too, if it ever gets that far.  Given the turd laid by Green Lantern, I hope that project is on hold now.

Heath Ledger as Joker was outstanding casting and a picture perfect portrayal in the Dark Knight. Brilliant take on the character. Too bad it almost got lost amidst the meandering story lines. DK got bogged down in too many side stories, an ugly, fugly, nasty ass Rachel (Maggie Uglyhaul) and a less than capable Harvey Dent (Aaron Suckhard).  It tried to be too many things.  Should have just been Joker and Bruce, mano y psycho.   Fuck, I'd have been happy to watch a Joker movie without even Batman to clean it up. 

Thor didn't really try to be anything.  Felt like a backstory with some silly extraneous shit tacked on. 

IDGAF about the bridges and rainbow walkers and ice cream castles.   Too much musing, not enough Thoring. 

Another dud in the Marvel line. 

[JR4AU]

Thor

Thud. 

At least it had Kat Dennings, who I find delectable.  Too bad she spend the entire movie swaddled in layers of clothes and a goofy toboggan. 

Everything that makes Iron Man cool and suave and funny and enjoyable was missing in this film. 

Big cast. Wasted most of it.  Renee Russo: Wasted.  Bootstrap Bill: Wasted. Idris Elba: Wasted.

Where was Nick Fury? 

I think I'll pass when they finally start linking all these movies up like comics.  And I'll pass on the Justice League, too, if it ever gets that far.  Given the turd laid by Green Lantern, I hope that project is on hold now.

Heath Ledger as Joker was outstanding casting and a picture perfect portrayal in the Dark Knight. Brilliant take on the character. Too bad it almost got lost amidst the meandering story lines. DK got bogged down in too many side stories, an ugly, fugly, nasty ass Rachel (Maggie Uglyhaul) and a less than capable Harvey Dent (Aaron Suckhard).  It tried to be too many things.  Should have just been Joker and Bruce, mano y psycho.   Fuck, I'd have been happy to watch a Joker movie without even Batman to clean it up. 

Thor didn't really try to be anything.  Felt like a backstory with some silly extraneous shit tacked on. 

IDGAF about the bridges and rainbow walkers and ice cream castles.   Too much musing, not enough Thoring. 

Another dud in the Marvel line.

100% agree!  I never was a comic fan, and don't know what I was expecting when I went to see it, but got exactly what you described and it sucked.

[Snaggletiger]

100% agree!  I never was a comic fan, and don't know what I was expecting when I went to see it, but got exactly what you described and it sucked.

I was a huge Marvel fan growing up with DC close behind.  Only a few movies have really captured the spirit of what the particular comic or character was.  Spiderman was spot on.  Followed the original story lines, kept the characters in tact and didn't try to go over the top to make it something it wasn't.

[Saniflush]

I was a huge Marvel fan growing up with DC close behind.  Only a few movies have really captured the spirit of what the particular comic or character was.  Spiderman was spot on.  Followed the original story lines, kept the characters in tact and didn't try to go over the top to make it something it wasn't.

You need to review this thread.  Kaos cannot do Spiderman because Kirsten Dunst

[Snaggletiger]

You need to review this thread.  Kaos cannot do Spiderman because Kirsten Dunst

I would have nailed that....more than once.  Not much of a Toby McGuire fan but if you grew up reading Spidey comics, he was the perfect fit.

[Saniflush]

I would have nailed that....more than once.  Not much of a Toby McGuire fan but if you grew up reading Spidey comics, he was the perfect fit.

As I recall her face was too round or some such nonsense.