Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Kaos]

A Quiet Place II
The first Quiet Place film was a surprise.

The second, not so much.  It's not that it was bad, it's just that we already knew the deal and that leeched some of the suspense out of it. 

This film started exploring - just a little - outside the farmhouse and one family that was the focus of the first.  But it also felt like it forgot a lot of what it learned from the first one.  If feedback whine renders the damn things powerless, why aren't there feedback broadcasting stations? 

I had no idea this movie roped Oppenheimer and Korath as lead stars (although the whiny "I can't make money in Hollywood" Dijimon who is in more movies - more major movies - than anyone around) isn't in it for a great length of time.  But here they were.  Scarecrow and Juba, fighting giant ears. 

I didn't hate the movie, but all it really seemed to do was expand the map slightly and build an obvious set up for Quiet Place III: The Quietest. 

Is it terrible?  No.  It's worth watching if only because I finally figured out what it is that keeps Emily Blunt from being as attractive as my mind says she should be.  She has an enormous upper lip.  You can almost never see her top teeth, but her bottom ones are constantly exposed.  I think it's an affectation primarily for this movie. Maybe it's what she thinks her "serious" face should look like.   I dunno.  But it's unnerving.

[Snakebite]

A Quiet Place II
The first Quiet Place film was a surprise.

The second, not so much.  It's not that it was bad, it's just that we already knew the deal and that leeched some of the suspense out of it. 

This film started exploring - just a little - outside the farmhouse and one family that was the focus of the first.  But it also felt like it forgot a lot of what it learned from the first one.  If feedback whine renders the damn things powerless, why aren't there feedback broadcasting stations? 

I had no idea this movie roped Oppenheimer and Korath as lead stars (although the whiny "I can't make money in Hollywood" Dijimon who is in more movies - more major movies - than anyone around) isn't in it for a great length of time.  But here they were.  Scarecrow and Juba, fighting giant ears. 

I didn't hate the movie, but all it really seemed to do was expand the map slightly and build an obvious set up for Quiet Place III: The Quietest. 

Is it terrible?  No.  It's worth watching if only because I finally figured out what it is that keeps Emily Blunt from being as attractive as my mind says she should be.  She has an enormous upper lip.  You can almost never see her top teeth, but her bottom ones are constantly exposed.  I think it's an affectation primarily for this movie. Maybe it's what she thinks her "serious" face should look like.   I dunno.  But it's unnerving.

Emily Blunt in Looper, seducing JGL…. She had me wanting seconds.

Life (2017) also was a surprise. I watched that one without a preview or idea of what was to come, which made it so much better. The problem with movies in my lifetime is the marketing that’s attached to them. They give it all away in the previews, let folks acquire leaked information, etc… I purposely avoid previews of all films I am interested in. I didn’t watch a single one for the new Mission Impossible, and am anxiously awaiting its release on streaming services.

[GH2001]

Always wanting seconds from Blunt....yum.

[Kaos]

The Offering

Jewish possession movie.   

הסרט הזה היה גרוע ונגזר. ראיתי הכל בעבר. 

[Snakebite]

Ready for a new review, please. Nook, sorry for fucking with the format.

[Kaos]

Ready for a new review, please. Nook, sorry for fucking with the format.

The fuck you talkin bout?

[Snakebite]

The fuck you talkin bout?

I never really know. Kind of just throw stuff out there to see what sticks.

Ready for one of your reviews again!

[Kaos]

I never really know. Kind of just throw stuff out there to see what sticks.

Ready for one of your reviews again!

I gotta watch sumpin.  Soon. 

[Kaos]

Nobody Will Save You

If you liked Kaitlyn Dever, the tomboy child of Tim Allen on Last Man Standing, this is the movie for you. 

Dever, now 26, carries the entire movie.  For 95% of the film, she's the only person on the screen.  And for 99.5% of the film, she doesn't say a single word.  Not one.

She's a recluse, dealing with some past trauma. Living alone, isolated in her childhood home (I think). One night her home is assaulted. Not by burglars or by rapists or anything like that, but by extra terrestrials. 

The film borrows from many others. There's a little bit of Signs, a dash of ET, a smidge or two of Close Encounters, a dollop of A Quiet Place, and maybe even a splash of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

The entire movie is Dever's Brynn fighting off the aliens as it slowly - very slowly - reveals the childhood trauma she's suffered.

I'll say this, Dever is a delight to watch. She does a more-than-credible job in the role and given that the entire story is told through her facial expressions, grunts and groans makes it even more impressive.  She's fantastic.

The no dialogue thing was interesting. Part of it was natural because there was nobody for her to talk to. The cutesy things where she'd pick up the phone and take that inhale of a breath to begin speaking and then stop were funny - at least to me.

The complete lack of dialogue forced you to pay attention because if you looked away, you couldn't follow a conversation to know what was going on.  I liked that because I'm sick to death of watching friends and family sit there scrolling on their phone while they are allegedly "watching" a movie.  That won't happen here.

Dever elevated this film far beyond what it could have been. Without her performance, it's not much more than an average forgettable SyFy movie.  I'm interested in seeing her in different, bigger roles. She should get that opportunity.  It was a huge burden to carry an entire movie using little more than her (albeit cute) face. Somehow she did. 

It's a different type of movie, probably not one for everybody but I've seen so many worse than this.  Watch it for nothing more than curiosity, but give it (her) a shot.

[Kaos]

Cobweb

I watched this primarily for the two leads.  Lizzy Caplan and Antony Starr. 

Caplan I can't figure out. Sometimes she is achingly hot and others she doesn't look that good at all. I think I like her and her pretty spectacular bazoomers (which are not on display in this film AT ALL), but then again, I'm not sure.  In this movie she plays a weird and stilted acting mom who dresses like it's 1964.  No heat. I think I like her as an actress. There's something about the expression on her face or the look behind her eyes that draws me. I really have no idea what it is.

Starr plays Homelander on The Boys (which I like).  I'm a Homelander fan. I wanted to see in this film if he had any range. He didn't have enough to do in it, though, to really tell me if he has the wings to fly beyond The Boys.

Basic story:
Kid living in a old, decrepit house hears noises in the walls and eventually discovers a (supposedly horrifying) family secret that has deadly consequences.  Caplan plays his mom, Starr his dad. Both are weird and act accordingly.

There are so many rabbit holes and dangling threads the movie fails to explore. So many things that need more exposition and background to make even the smallest amount of sense. There are gaps and leaps and twists that fall apart under the slightest scrutiny.  It wanted to be so much - and it was filmed well - but it just left way too much dangling to be even remotely effective. 

There's a late "what the hell are they eating?" twist that could have paid off extremely well but it lacked something.

I've seen far worse movies, but there's nothing to really recommend watching this.  Now if there were Caplan titties to consider, that might be worth it. There aren't. 

[The Six]

Lizzie Caplin is the embodiment of 2 at 10, 10 at 2.

[Kaos]

Lizzie Caplin is the embodiment of 2 at 10, 10 at 2.

But would you?

[GH2001]

Nobody Will Save You

If you liked Kaitlyn Dever, the tomboy child of Tim Allen on Last Man Standing, this is the movie for you. 

Dever, now 26, carries the entire movie.  For 95% of the film, she's the only person on the screen.  And for 99.5% of the film, she doesn't say a single word.  Not one.

She's a recluse, dealing with some past trauma. Living alone, isolated in her childhood home (I think). One night her home is assaulted. Not by burglars or by rapists or anything like that, but by extra terrestrials. 

The film borrows from many others. There's a little bit of Signs, a dash of ET, a smidge or two of Close Encounters, a dollop of A Quiet Place, and maybe even a splash of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

The entire movie is Dever's Brynn fighting off the aliens as it slowly - very slowly - reveals the childhood trauma she's suffered.

I'll say this, Dever is a delight to watch. She does a more-than-credible job in the role and given that the entire story is told through her facial expressions, grunts and groans makes it even more impressive.  She's fantastic.

The no dialogue thing was interesting. Part of it was natural because there was nobody for her to talk to. The cutesy things where she'd pick up the phone and take that inhale of a breath to begin speaking and then stop were funny - at least to me.

The complete lack of dialogue forced you to pay attention because if you looked away, you couldn't follow a conversation to know what was going on.  I liked that because I'm sick to death of watching friends and family sit there scrolling on their phone while they are allegedly "watching" a movie.  That won't happen here.

Dever elevated this film far beyond what it could have been. Without her performance, it's not much more than an average forgettable SyFy movie.  I'm interested in seeing her in different, bigger roles. She should get that opportunity.  It was a huge burden to carry an entire movie using little more than her (albeit cute) face. Somehow she did. 

It's a different type of movie, probably not one for everybody but I've seen so many worse than this.  Watch it for nothing more than curiosity, but give it (her) a shot.

I liked this one. It was different. The Zero dialogue or anyone else in the movie made you really pay attention.

[GH2001]

But would you?

At 2, sure.

[The Six]

But would you?

Pass. I like my waif brunettes to have more personality than eternally pissed.

[Kaos]

Pass. I like my waif brunettes to have more personality than eternally pissed.

I don't get eternally pissed from her at all.  I get sarcastic playful. I also don't get waif. She's got outstanding bombardiers.   

And I would do her so hard. I'd do her on a Dr. Pepper schedule.  10, 2 and 4. 




What about Kaitlyn Dever? 

Capable of seeing her as an almost-30-year old? 

[The Six]

What about Kaitlyn Dever? 

Capable of seeing her as an almost-30-year old?

She plays for the other team. So, no.

[Kaos]

She plays for the other team. So, no.

I think that was only a movie role.  Never heard it was a thing. 

[The Six]

I think that was only a movie role.  Never heard it was a thing.

Dever came out https://www.sdlgbtn.com/is-kaitlyn-dever-gay-in-real-life/ as gay in 2020 during an interview with The Timeshttps://www.thetimes.co.uk/. She said that she had been in relationships with both men and women, but that she is now in a relationship with a woman.

[Kaos]

Dever came out https://www.sdlgbtn.com/is-kaitlyn-dever-gay-in-real-life/ as gay in 2020 during an interview with The Timeshttps://www.thetimes.co.uk/. She said that she had been in relationships with both men and women, but that she is now in a relationship with a woman.

I'm not buying some lgbtbr549 rag that wants to out everybody from Thomas Jefferson to George Jefferson in an effort to promote their agenda.