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Kaos' way behind movie reviews

Buzz Killington

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3040 on: February 11, 2020, 03:58:31 PM »
Which one is that?
Anybody seen that one?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3041 on: February 11, 2020, 04:53:53 PM »
Anybody seen that one?
Must have missed it. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3042 on: February 11, 2020, 04:54:41 PM »
:yallfu:
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

GH2001

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3043 on: February 11, 2020, 08:34:02 PM »
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WDE

Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3044 on: February 12, 2020, 08:29:25 AM »
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3045 on: February 12, 2020, 09:58:05 AM »
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3046 on: February 12, 2020, 10:24:11 AM »
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3047 on: March 03, 2020, 04:35:31 PM »
Midsommar

I really wasn't sure about watching this movie.  I should have trusted my instincts.  

I took a chance on it because I thought I might like Florence Pugh.  Hadn't made up my mind on her as an actress.  She's done some stuff that is intriguing and has a major part on the upcoming Marvel film Black Widow. This was her movie to carry.  

The plot is essentially this:  A bunch of Americans join their Swedish college friend at his hometown's summer solstice celebration, a nine-day affair that he promises to be fun, food and song. 

Weird food, weird song, no fun at all.  

The movie was a long, slow, torturous slog through some of the oddest rituals on screen.  I won't bother to spoil it for you in case you want to subject yourself to this horseshit.  But it's weird.  

The movie opened with something like a suicide and then a bawling, screaming crying scene by Pugh that was horrifying and not in the manner in which the director likely intended.  I wanted it to stop, and not because I had any sympathy or empathy for her character.  Just stop, please stop.  And it's repeated more than once through this film, including one scene that's a billion times worse.  

At the end, I decided that I do not like Florence Pugh.  Not one little bit.  
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Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3048 on: March 03, 2020, 04:56:03 PM »
The Invisible Man

For years (decades) Universal Studios has tried to breathe life into its Monsters Universe.  They've got an entirely new Orlando park in the development stages that's rumored to lean heavily on their monster lineage. 

But they keep misfiring.  For those who don't remember, Universal was the king of the monster realm in the early days with The Mummy, Dracula, Wolfman, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Jekyll/Hyde and Invisible Man among the mainstays.

They tried with Van Helsing to revive it.  Dud.  Dracula Untold. Middling. Tom Cruise in The Mummy. Absolute shit, should have built on the Brendan Fraser series. The Wolfman (2010) that nobody watched.

And then last week, they brought back The Invisible Man. 

The movie is going to do good box office.  It's going to get positive reviews.  It was an entertaining (if at times slow) film.  But....

Universal shot themselves in the dick AGAIN. 

They picked the right person to direct the film, tapping Leigh Wannell who played a major part in building the Saw franchise.  Where they screwed the pooch was the script. 

Universal just HAD to glom on to the female empowerment/me-too movement.  Instead of a story where the invisible man was a tortured genius with a slightly unhinged thirst for world domination, this version of the film neutered the character by turning him into nothing more than a one-dimensional domestic abuser. 

It's not about a guy who tries to use the power of invisibility which he created to do some crazy big world-wide shit.  Nope, he uses it to torment his dumpy ass wife.  It's completely limiting.

You can't build a monster movie franchise, much less a whole theme park, based an asshole who's one step removed from being a baggy-jort, tank-top T and backward hat wanna-be gangsta pimp who be slappin' his ho' around.  You just can't. 

I would have enjoyed the movie much, much more without the Invisible Man baggage. 

Elizabeth Moss was okay in it, but there was so much of the story they left out that it really didn't work as well as they expected emotionally.  They didn't give us anywhere near enough evidence that her potentially bullshit claims of "abuse" were even remotely true.  Never a mark on her.  Nothing but her unvalidated claims. 

Okay as a movie.  Bullshit as The Invisible Man.  It's got nowhere to go from here.  Nowhere good, anyway. 
« Last Edit: March 03, 2020, 05:09:11 PM by Kaos »
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3049 on: March 03, 2020, 05:09:50 PM »
If I had the invisible powers, I'd sneak in and look at Jennifer Aniston's t-t hole.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3050 on: March 03, 2020, 06:01:53 PM »
If I had the invisible powers, I'd sneak in and look at Jennifer Aniston's t-t hole.
But what would you do with a million dollars?
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The Six

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3051 on: March 04, 2020, 07:46:48 AM »
Midsommar

I really wasn't sure about watching this movie.  I should have trusted my instincts. 
Wrong. It's a piece of art along the lines of 2001: A Space Odyssey or Citizen Kane. You need a few passes through it to get it completely. This movie should have been the Oscar front runner but the stodginess of the academy prevented it.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3052 on: March 04, 2020, 09:15:52 AM »
Wrong. It's a piece of art along the lines of 2001: A Space Odyssey or Citizen Kane. You need a few passes through it to get it completely. This movie should have been the Oscar front runner but the stodginess of the academy prevented it.
It’s a piece alright.  A fucked up piece of shit.  
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3053 on: March 04, 2020, 09:35:14 AM »
It’s a piece alright.  A fucked up piece of shit. 
They don't call him the best movie critic in the business for nothin', folks.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

wesfau2

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3054 on: March 04, 2020, 10:16:42 AM »
Midsommar

I really wasn't sure about watching this movie.  I should have trusted my instincts. 

I took a chance on it because I thought I might like Florence Pugh.  Hadn't made up my mind on her as an actress.  She's done some stuff that is intriguing and has a major part on the upcoming Marvel film Black Widow. This was her movie to carry. 

The plot is essentially this:  A bunch of Americans join their Swedish college friend at his hometown's summer solstice celebration, a nine-day affair that he promises to be fun, food and song.

Weird food, weird song, no fun at all. 

The movie was a long, slow, torturous slog through some of the oddest rituals on screen.  I won't bother to spoil it for you in case you want to subject yourself to this horseshit.  But it's weird. 

The movie opened with something like a suicide and then a bawling, screaming crying scene by Pugh that was horrifying and not in the manner in which the director likely intended.  I wanted it to stop, and not because I had any sympathy or empathy for her character.  Just stop, please stop.  And it's repeated more than once through this film, including one scene that's a billion times worse. 

At the end, I decided that I do not like Florence Pugh.  Not one little bit. 

This movie was like deep sea fishing: long periods of interminable boredom punctuated by moments of sheer panic/terror.

Was not expecting this one to be a graphic/gross as it was.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3055 on: March 04, 2020, 10:53:15 AM »
This movie was like deep sea fishing: long periods of interminable boredom punctuated by moments of sheer panic/terror.

Was not expecting this one to be a graphic/gross as it was.
I never got the panic/terror.  Fucko weirdness, yeah.  But not the other.  It was so slow moving anything that could have been reached that level was telegraphed well before it came to pass.  

In your esteemed opinion:  Art or shit?  

There are movies I don't like initially that I end up loving on second or third pass (Pulp Fiction comes to mind).  But Midsommar?  I'd rather watch a three hour marathon of the Bear Bryant show dubbed over in German or Portuguese than even half an hour of that nightmare.  I absolutely despise Florence Pugh now. She grated on me that much. Not sure I want to ever see anything else she's in.  
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wesfau2

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3056 on: March 04, 2020, 11:05:15 AM »
I never got the panic/terror.  Fucko weirdness, yeah.  But not the other.  It was so slow moving anything that could have been reached that level was telegraphed well before it came to pass. 

In your esteemed opinion:  Art or shit? 

There are movies I don't like initially that I end up loving on second or third pass (Pulp Fiction comes to mind).  But Midsommar?  I'd rather watch a three hour marathon of the Bear Bryant show dubbed over in German or Portuguese than even half an hour of that nightmare.  I absolutely despise Florence Pugh now. She grated on me that much. Not sure I want to ever see anything else she's in. 
I was referring to the characters' panic/terror.  The movie was gross (suicide jumping/face bashing...plus  the flayed living lung-boy in the barn) but not terribly scary.

Not a binary choice for me: it's on an artistic spectrum of some sort, but not total shit.

The middle-aged sex assisters was an odd moment.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3057 on: March 04, 2020, 11:18:11 AM »
Good Will Hunting is one of those movies that I've come across 100 times and never watched more than 10 minutes of.  I finally took the time to take in the whole movie last night.  I'm sure most have seen it so no need for any kind of review, just a few takeaways. Robin Williams was a talented, tormented individual.  Amazing, to me anyway, how the guy could go from bouncing off the walls, ad lib comedy to effectively playing such serious roles.  Good Morning Vietnam was a perfect example of both ends of the spectrum.  Crazy, outrageous radio personality, to dealing with some serious shit.  Anyway, like him or not, I always enjoyed his work. 

I didn't realize that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck wrote this and won some Academy Awards for it.  Not bad for a couple of 20 somethings.  I enjoyed it overall.  The only drawback was the overdone Bahstan accents.  Not a fan of everyone talking like they work on one the Wicked Tuna boats.  Ya' wicked pissah.      
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3058 on: March 04, 2020, 11:22:28 AM »
The middle-aged sex assisters was an odd moment.
Really?  That was exactly like my first time.  
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wesfau2

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Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews
« Reply #3059 on: March 04, 2020, 11:35:13 AM »
Really?  That was exactly like my first time. 
That would explain so so much.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.