Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Kaos]

Green Room

Patrick Stewart! Anton Yelkin! Imogene Poots! The daughter from Deck the Halls (who was also in the new Pee Wee movie)!  All caught in a gory, gruesome story of torture and terror featuring skinheads and......

Crap.  It just didn't work. 

I wanted it to work, I was so looking forward to Stewart shredding scenery and bringing out the cool brit menace.  I was really looking forward to Yelkin's puppy-dog meekness being brutalized by the biker bar brawlers until he figured out a way to fight back.

It tried a little of those things, but for the most part it was a lot of introspective mumbling, too-quick deaths, ridiculous "plotting" by Stewart and his skinhead crew, an inconsistent timeline and a bunch of other jibbled up mess.

Five people are locked in a room with one way out, behind a flimsy door held closed only by a small pin latch and with a small sofa in front of it.  Five people you want dead and you've got an army of willing skinhead warriors surrounding the place.  You don't fiddle fuck around talking, you don't bring attack dogs, you don't come up with some day long plan and then drive off leaving most of the hostages still in the room.  Nope.  Too many other options.  So that was idiotic from the go and after it took way too long to even get to that point. 

Terrible movie that failed to deliver on the promise of its cast and the inherent terror of its setup.  I kept waiting for this movie to show up in theaters after I saw the trailer. When it didn't I looked for it on DVD.  Wasn't worth the wait or consideration. 

[wesfau2]

Suicide Squad

The reviews are unjustifiably harsh.  Still oddly flat, as only DC movies can be apparently, but a fun romp otherwise.

The star of the movie is Margot's ass in tiny blue shorts.  It's in nearly every shot.  Will Smith was predictably good and Viola Davis plays coldblooded to the hilt.

The Croc guy and the Aussie were throwaway characters, but Diablo was pretty badass.

Leto's Joker was excellent.  He'll be (unfairly) compared to Ledger, but that bar will not be reached.  Leto played the character as a restrained version of the comic rather than the menacing, subdued Ledger take. 

Go see it and have some fun.  It's the best DC has offered in a while.

[Kaos]

Invitation

Very weird movie about a dinner party with -- perhaps -- a hidden agenda.   

Very strange.  Leaves you wondering if the main character is the crazy one or if something odd is going on. 

Moves too slowly in places, doesn't explain some of the motives well enough, doesn't explain the need to have that particular group in place. 

The cast is filled with people you've seen before but can't quite place where. 

[Buzz Killington]

Suicide Squad

The reviews are unjustifiably harsh.  Still oddly flat, as only DC movies can be apparently, but a fun romp otherwise.

The star of the movie is Margot's ass in tiny blue shorts.  It's in nearly every shot.  Will Smith was predictably good and Viola Davis plays coldblooded to the hilt.

The Croc guy and the Aussie were throwaway characters, but Diablo was pretty badass.

Leto's Joker was excellent.  He'll be (unfairly) compared to Ledger, but that bar will not be reached.  Leto played the character as a restrained version of the comic rather than the menacing, subdued Ledger take. 

Go see it and have some fun.  It's the best DC has offered in a while.

Saw it last night and this take is spot on.  Fun movie overall, but watching Margo's ass was the highlight fo sho.

[Kaos]

Jack Reacher
Watching it on FX.

 

Why are they making a sequel?

[Saniflush]

Jack Reacher
Watching it on FX.

 

Why are they making a sequel?

The books

[The Six]

The books

Of which they basically ignored in the first one

[Jumbo]

Saw it last night and this take is spot on.  Fun movie overall, but watching Margo's ass was the highlight fo sho.

Pics?

[Buzz Killington]

Pics?

[Godfather]

Now I don't have to waste money on another shitty DC storyline.

[Kaos]

Zootopia

I think this was supposed to teach me something about racism. 

I don't want to be taught lessons by cartoon foxes. 

[Jumbo]

Now I don't have to waste money on another shitty DC storyline.

Perfect

[Kaos]

Suicide Squad
Daughters wanted to go.  So I gave it a shot. 

Batman is my favorite superhero/comic character. Joker is my favorite villain. Harley is my favorite evil sidekick. 

Mother of Zod, the DC Universe cannot be salvaged.  In the hands of Warner, it's completely tone deaf, gratingly ham-handed, murky, muddled, bloated and asinine. 

Zac Snyder has to go.  Ben Affleck has to go. Fuck both of those blundering clowns. Their vision for this franchise is suffused with doom.

This could have been the perfect answer to Deadpool -- a perfectly irreverent, self-aware, well-acted, on-target, massively crude film.  Instead it was a dingy swirl of horrific performances, moronic storylines, wooden acting, idiotic setups and sloppy execution. 

It wasn't as bad as Batman v. Superman, but it lives in the same neighborhood.   Bullet points of the good and bad. 

1) Harley Quinn:  B+.  M Robbie is hot and tried really hard to nail the part. Unfortunately the director kept her reined in too much and didn't let her come nearly as unglued as she should.  And the backstory was laughably unbelievable and pitifully interjected into the film.  Still, she was far and away the best part of the movie.
2) Joker.  D-.  I didn't care for Leto's take on the clown prince of crime at all. Terribly disappointed.  I understand that he didn't want to go Ledger and that Nicholson's version is too clownish to fit the current vibe, but still. Just didn't work for me. I thought it was awful and not true to the character's history. 
3) Killer Croc. C-.  Really poorly done. Added nothing to the film.
4) Deadshot. C-.  Just not enough there, couldn't connect with the character.  Will looked like he was sleepwalking through it just to get a payday.
5) Diablo. F. Shiiiiiity execution and the CGI morph had people in our audience laughing.
6) Kitana, Boomerang, Whoever the fuck else?  D.  Poorly fleshed out characters with little to no purpose.
7) Enchantress.  F-.  What the fuck was that thing at the end?  I kept expecting it to ask Bill Murray to "choose the form of the destuctor."

It was so badly done I heard people laughing out loud at it. 
8) The CGI. F.  Absolutely terrible.  Eye-rollingly bad. 
9) Battfleck.  F --.  Fuck that asshole. I was wrong. He's a shitty Batman.
10) Viola Davis: D.  Pathetic. And how the blazing blue hell did she hold on to that stupid cell phone? 
11) Rick Flag: F. The guy was spectacularly bad and had any of the rest of it worked, this abysmal performance would have dragged the rest of it down by itself.  Astonishingly bad.
12) The climbing dude. F. Waste of a character and just stupid.

There were too many plot holes and inconsistencies to even begin to list them all. The pacing was shitty.  The characters just didn't resonate. There was nobody to care about, no reason to give a shit and the setup with the witch and the brother and Zul and Gozer and crossing the streams was monstrously awful. 

It was so disappointing to see characters in which I am invested being mishandled and abused in this manner.

So boo.  Why can't somebody competent take over the DC Universe and start over from scratch?

[Godfather]

Suicide Squad
Daughters wanted to go.  So I gave it a shot. 

Batman is my favorite superhero/comic character. Joker is my favorite villain. Harley is my favorite evil sidekick. 

Mother of Zod, the DC Universe cannot be salvaged.  In the hands of Warner, it's completely tone deaf, gratingly ham-handed, murky, muddled, bloated and asinine. 

Zac Snyder has to go.  Ben Affleck has to go. Fuck both of those blundering clowns. Their vision for this franchise is suffused with doom.

This could have been the perfect answer to Deadpool -- a perfectly irreverent, self-aware, well-acted, on-target, massively crude film.  Instead it was a dingy swirl of horrific performances, moronic storylines, wooden acting, idiotic setups and sloppy execution. 

It wasn't as bad as Batman v. Superman, but it lives in the same neighborhood.   Bullet points of the good and bad. 

1) Harley Quinn:  B+.  M Robbie is hot and tried really hard to nail the part. Unfortunately the director kept her reined in too much and didn't let her come nearly as unglued as she should.  And the backstory was laughably unbelievable and pitifully interjected into the film.  Still, she was far and away the best part of the movie.
2) Joker.  D-.  I didn't care for Leto's take on the clown prince of crime at all. Terribly disappointed.  I understand that he didn't want to go Ledger and that Nicholson's version is too clownish to fit the current vibe, but still. Just didn't work for me. I thought it was awful and not true to the character's history. 
3) Killer Croc. C-.  Really poorly done. Added nothing to the film.
4) Deadshot. C-.  Just not enough there, couldn't connect with the character.  Will looked like he was sleepwalking through it just to get a payday.
5) Diablo. F. Shiiiiiity execution and the CGI morph had people in our audience laughing.
6) Kitana, Boomerang, Whoever the fuck else?  D.  Poorly fleshed out characters with little to no purpose.
7) Enchantress.  F-.  What the fuck was that thing at the end?  I kept expecting it to ask Bill Murray to "choose the form of the destuctor."

It was so badly done I heard people laughing out loud at it. 
8) The CGI. F.  Absolutely terrible.  Eye-rollingly bad. 
9) Battfleck.  F --.  Fuck that asshole. I was wrong. He's a shitty Batman.
10) Viola Davis: D.  Pathetic. And how the blazing blue hell did she hold on to that stupid cell phone? 
11) Rick Flag: F. The guy was spectacularly bad and had any of the rest of it worked, this abysmal performance would have dragged the rest of it down by itself.  Astonishingly bad.
12) The climbing dude. F. Waste of a character and just stupid.

There were too many plot holes and inconsistencies to even begin to list them all. The pacing was shitty.  The characters just didn't resonate. There was nobody to care about, no reason to give a shit and the setup with the witch and the brother and Zul and Gozer and crossing the streams was monstrously awful. 

It was so disappointing to see characters in which I am invested being mishandled and abused in this manner.

So boo.  Why can't somebody competent take over the DC Universe and start over from scratch?

This might be your best review yet.  Fucking spot on.

I will add how can a bomb blow up an immortal/ and whatever the fuck she was building.  Also horrible horrible supposed villain of the movie....what was her motivation?

It's only redeeming quality was the music and like you said nowhere near as bad as Batman v Superman.

[Kaos]

Some movies I've seen, may have reviewed already and watched again

Up In the Air
I hate Vera Horseface, but this was a much better movie than I remember it being the first time I saw it.  Clooney's abject loneliness masked by a "I love it this way" facade was deftly done.  The kick in the sack when he finds out who the woman for which he's willing to change his life is well acted. 

The movie says more than I remembered it saying about life, relationships and how we all cope. 

Fever Pitch
I love the Red Sox.  With the exception of a few Auburn teams of the past, the 2004 Red Sox gave me more drama and happiness than any sports team ever.  The climb from the 0-3 hole against the Yankees was one of the greatest baseball series I've ever had the joy of watching. 

This movie weaves a cute love story around that team.  Originally it was supposed to chronicle yet another season of heartbreak, but those four games against the Yankees required a script revision.  Knowing that, you can see how the all-but inevitable end-of-season failure (that didn't happen) was a big part of the plot. 

Drew Barrymore is about as adorable as she gets - and I think she's pretty adorable usually.  Jimmy Fallon is convincing and a better actor than he was given a chance to prove before he took over Late Night.   

It's not a great movie, but it's one that both the guys and girls can enjoy - which is rare.  Helps to love the Sox.

[Kaos]

Don't Breathe

Looking for that horror/scare thing still.  Thought there was a good premise here.  Punk burglars break into home of blind man who catches them in the act and then traps them in the same darkness in which he lives his entire life. 

The problem?  A stupid side story that turns everybody in the film into a bad guy.  You need to have at least one person with whom to sympathize. When you want them all to lose, all to die a grisly death?  The movie missed its mark.

Add in a cavalcade of stupid decisions and "who would really do that" moments and you get a movie that blunders along and fails to deliver on its promise. 

[Kaos]

I Am Wrath
John Travolta has had a few memorable roles. His turn as Vincent in Pulp Fiction was a brilliant casting choice and director Tarrantino let him do just little enough to be effective.  He was fair in Grease and passable in Saturday Night Fever, but mostly for the dancing and not the acting.  Okay in Urban Cowboy and got to crush on Glynnis O'Connor (who for some reason I thought was hot in the day) in Bubble Boy.
 
The rest of his catalog can be rated on the scatological scale. As in how shitty was his performance.

Tragedy spurs Travolta to rampage through the underworld seeking revenge.  He's supposed to be some retired bad ass. 

This straight to DVD turkey turd helped cement his status alongside Nick Cage as one of the worst actors of our lifetime. 

He was absolutely terrible here in a dumb film with a ridiculous plot and contrived setups.  Every emotion he tried to portray looked like he was squeezing out a really painful shit.  His face looked like it was carved out of dirty wax, his hair was either a bad wig or a terrible job at implants.  It was bad. Real bad.

I hated to see L&O SVU's Chris Meloni (an actor I like) bogged down in this swampy, poorly acted mess.  He was just as bad as the rest of the hack cast, though.  Shame. 

Just a thought.  Do you really think the bad guys stand around doing soliloquies or do they just shoot the fuck out of you?  Because there were at least three soliloquies in this movie.  You'd think the bad guys would learn to shoot first and then talk to your dead body. 

[Snaggletiger]

I Am Wrath
John Travolta has had a few memorable roles. His turn as Vincent in Pulp Fiction was a brilliant casting choice and director Tarrantino let him do just little enough to be effective.  He was fair in Grease and passable in Saturday Night Fever, but mostly for the dancing and not the acting.  Okay in Urban Cowboy and got to crush on Glynnis O'Connor (who for some reason I thought was hot in the day) in Bubble Boy.
 
The rest of his catalog can be rated on the scatological scale. As in how shitty was his performance.

Tragedy spurs Travolta to rampage through the underworld seeking revenge.  He's supposed to be some retired bad ass. 

This straight to DVD turkey turd helped cement his status alongside Nick Cage as one of the worst actors of our lifetime. 

He was absolutely terrible here in a dumb film with a ridiculous plot and contrived setups.  Every emotion he tried to portray looked like he was squeezing out a really painful shit.  His face looked like it was carved out of dirty wax, his hair was either a bad wig or a terrible job at implants.  It was bad. Real bad.

I hated to see L&O SVU's Chris Meloni (an actor I like) bogged down in this swampy, poorly acted mess.  He was just as bad as the rest of the hack cast, though.  Shame. 

Just a thought.  Do you really think the bad guys stand around doing soliloquies or do they just shoot the fuck out of you?  Because there were at least three soliloquies in this movie.  You'd think the bad guys would learn to shoot first and then talk to your dead body.

If you don't grasp the brilliance of his delivery of this classic line, then all your reviews are kindergarten level babbling.

"Why couldn't you put the bunny back in the box?"

And giving us that dramatic line while nailing a southern drawl....

[GH2001]

I Am Wrath
John Travolta has had a few memorable roles. His turn as Vincent in Pulp Fiction was a brilliant casting choice and director Tarrantino let him do just little enough to be effective.  He was fair in Grease and passable in Saturday Night Fever, but mostly for the dancing and not the acting.  Okay in Urban Cowboy and got to crush on Glynnis O'Connor (who for some reason I thought was hot in the day) in Bubble Boy.
 
The rest of his catalog can be rated on the scatological scale. As in how shitty was his performance.

Tragedy spurs Travolta to rampage through the underworld seeking revenge.  He's supposed to be some retired bad ass. 

This straight to DVD turkey turd helped cement his status alongside Nick Cage as one of the worst actors of our lifetime. 

He was absolutely terrible here in a dumb film with a ridiculous plot and contrived setups.  Every emotion he tried to portray looked like he was squeezing out a really painful shit.  His face looked like it was carved out of dirty wax, his hair was either a bad wig or a terrible job at implants.  It was bad. Real bad.

I hated to see L&O SVU's Chris Meloni (an actor I like) bogged down in this swampy, poorly acted mess.  He was just as bad as the rest of the hack cast, though.  Shame. 

Just a thought.  Do you really think the bad guys stand around doing soliloquies or do they just shoot the fuck out of you?  Because there were at least three soliloquies in this movie.  You'd think the bad guys would learn to shoot first and then talk to your dead body.

Well you've obviously never seen Look Who's Talking bucko

[Kaos]

Money Monster

Obviously trying to speak to the nature of corporate greed.  Guy blames TV host for advice that caused him to lose his $60,000 inheritance.  So he takes over the show and gradually brings Clooney around to wondering how the company that lost his money lost its stock and why.

Starred Clooney, a Julia Roberts who is not aging well, some other people you've seen before. 

Just didn't work.  Couldn't get invested in the characters who seemed shallow and poorly formed.  A stupid sidebar about weiner enhancing cream was unnecessary.