Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[Kaos]

Zombieland

Not exactly what I expected, but a fun movie.  It was no Raising Arizona, but it had a few funny moments and didn't take itself seriously at all.  It's not laugh out loud comedy, it's not scare the shit out of you horror, but just a nice easy blend of fear and bemusement. 

No angst over the crazy situation, no underlying social commentary, no deeper hidden meaning.  Just four misfits (well, five for a while) making the best they can out of a really bad situation. 

Yeah there are crazy plot holes.  For instance how come the power is still on everywhere?  And don't they ever run out of gas?  Or bullets?  But that really doesn't matter all that much because it's not really meant to be taken seriously. 

Woody Harrellson dominates the film.  He's good enough that you'd almost like to see him in a serious zombie killing movie, but then you remember he'd have to do pathos and pass on the idea.  No, he fits better here. 

The nerdy, nebbish guy is interchangeable with any of the other hundred or so nerdy nebbish guys who populate thousands of other teen films.  I'm just glad they didn't get the Superbad guy (Cera) in this role because I'm a little tired of him. 

Emma Stone confuses me.  She's either hot or not and I lean to not. 

It's not a movie you'll buy and put on your shelf to treasure for years to come, but on a throwaway afternoon it would be pretty fun. 

Worth watching.

[Godfather]

Zombieland

Not exactly what I expected, but a fun movie.  It was no Raising Arizona, but it had a few funny moments and didn't take itself seriously at all.  It's not laugh out loud comedy, it's not scare the shit out of you horror, but just a nice easy blend of fear and bemusement. 

No angst over the crazy situation, no underlying social commentary, no deeper hidden meaning.  Just four misfits (well, five for a while) making the best they can out of a really bad situation. 

Yeah there are crazy plot holes.  For instance how come the power is still on everywhere?  And don't they ever run out of gas?  Or bullets?  But that really doesn't matter all that much because it's not really meant to be taken seriously. 

Woody Harrellson dominates the film.  He's good enough that you'd almost like to see him in a serious zombie killing movie, but then you remember he'd have to do pathos and pass on the idea.  No, he fits better here. 

The nerdy, nebbish guy is interchangeable with any of the other hundred or so nerdy nebbish guys who populate thousands of other teen films.  I'm just glad they didn't get the Superbad guy (Cera) in this role because I'm a little tired of him. 

Emma Stone confuses me.  She's either hot or not and I lean to not. 

It's not a movie you'll buy and put on your shelf to treasure for years to come, but on a throwaway afternoon it would be pretty fun. 

Worth watching.

I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch.

[Pell City Tiger]

I guess in a couple of years some dumbass will show Inglorious Basterds and have his class thinking Hitler was murdered by a Jew theater chick, a black dude and a couple of oafs.

I didn't know Prowler was working on his teachers certification.

[The Prowler]

I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch.

a bit????   

[Token]

Zombieland

Not exactly what I expected, but a fun movie.  It was no Raising Arizona, but it had a few funny moments and didn't take itself seriously at all.  It's not laugh out loud comedy, it's not scare the shit out of you horror, but just a nice easy blend of fear and bemusement. 

No angst over the crazy situation, no underlying social commentary, no deeper hidden meaning.  Just four misfits (well, five for a while) making the best they can out of a really bad situation. 

Yeah there are crazy plot holes.  For instance how come the power is still on everywhere?  And don't they ever run out of gas?  Or bullets?  But that really doesn't matter all that much because it's not really meant to be taken seriously. 

Woody Harrellson dominates the film.  He's good enough that you'd almost like to see him in a serious zombie killing movie, but then you remember he'd have to do pathos and pass on the idea.  No, he fits better here. 

The nerdy, nebbish guy is interchangeable with any of the other hundred or so nerdy nebbish guys who populate thousands of other teen films.  I'm just glad they didn't get the Superbad guy (Cera) in this role because I'm a little tired of him. 

Emma Stone confuses me.  She's either hot or not and I lean to not. 

It's not a movie you'll buy and put on your shelf to treasure for years to come, but on a throwaway afternoon it would be pretty fun. 

Worth watching.

I loved the fact that it didn't take itself seriously. 

Woody Harrelson is one of my favorites and played his part perfectly. 

Emma Stone is hot.  Something about the ghostbusters scene where she was playing Janine did it for me. 

I didn't care much for the nerd or the little girl, but there was a Sancho reference in the scene where the four first met in the grocery store. 

And the twinkie plot was perfect for a movie that seriously had no agenda other than killing zombies.

[Godfather]

a bit????   

It's from the movie

[Kaos]

It's from the movie

Yeah, it is you little spit fuck. 

[The Prowler]

Yeah, it is you little spit fuck. 

I'm thinking more like "a lot of a bitch"

[Kaos]

I'm thinking more like "a lot of a bitch"

And I'm thinking you continue to confirm your dumbass. 

[Kaos]

Law Abiding Citizen

Gerard Butler cannot act.  If Russell Crowe, Nick Cage and John Travolta had a baby it would be a better actor than Gerard Butler. 

I thought his affected speech in 300 was just a gimmick, but it's obvious he struggles to maintain an "American" accent and drifts off into gobbeldy-gook (Craig Ferguson mumblety jumbo) from time to time.  And on top of that he's just a shitty actor. 

He's completely unbelievable in a role that was made for Mel Gibson or Charles Bronson (if this was 1970). 

Plenty of star power in the movie with Jamie Foxx and the chick from Talladega Nights and a few people you'd recognize.  But in Butler's clumsy hands (he was the producer of this floating turd) it simply rang hollow. 

Foxx was a real lightweight in his attempt to be a convincing DA.  Didn't work.  Neither did Leslie Bibb as his co counsel. 

We've seen this movie before and we've seen it done much better than this.  It was a waste. 

Ship Gerard back to where ever he came from and let him make infomercials there or something.  I've seen enough of him.  Won't watch anything else in which he "stars"

[Kaos]

The Hurt Locker

The Iraq war is helpless and hopeless.  Beyond that we get absolutely nothing from this movie. 

It got such high critical acclaim I was hoping for something better.

The performances were all solid.  Can't complain about any of the actors involved.  But their motivations were muddled, the interplay hackneyed at times.  You wanted to care, but for the most part I was apathetic.

Kathryn Bigelow, the director, didn't have the gravitas or experience to pull off this movie.  Where it should have had depth, it grounded in the shallows. When it had a chance to humanize the characters it fell back on cliche.  In more capable hands, this could have been a powerful and moving film.  In Bigelow's lightweight command it missed the mark. It failed to dig deep enough into the characters to give you a reason to really care.  Their reasons and rationale were not plumbed. 

I can see why Hollywood types loved it, because it makes the American presence in the Middle East seem like an utterly hopeless proposition.  It did so without demeaning the soldiers themselves so I'm sure the groovy "can't we all just get along, here's a nice daisy" crowd is patting itself on the back for managing to express disdain for the war effort without making the soldiers look like monsters -- which was their failed direction in movies like Platoon and Casualties of War. 

It wasn't a bad movie, it was just flat and two dimensional.  It wasn't as silly and over dramatized as some other war films, so it gets points for no frills realism but all in all it was just lacking. 

[BZ770]

Three reviews today.  Short and to the point.

Drag Me to Hell
By all means drag me to hell. Just don't try to drag me back to the theater to see this poop fest.  It's a PG-13 horror movie which should have indicated the suckage immediately, but I ignored the warning.  The girl was sort of hot and her choice of shoes was good, but that's where the quality ended here.  The best actor in the whole thing was a damn fly. 

 

Rented this, hated the way it ended.  Maybe I always want goodness to win.  Alison Lohman was the girl from Matchstick men and she was in Big Fish, it was pretty bad acting.

[Kaos]

Couple's Retreat
Given the abysmal reviews I'd seen from others, I wasn't expecting much.  And that's exactly what I got.  Not much. 

Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman all looked pretty good in their underwear.  Akerman especially (see below). She just sort of did it for me. 

The location was outstanding.  Makes me want to visit that place some day.  Maybe spring break. 

But the movie itself was just sort of flat.  I really wish Vince Vaughn was as funny as he clearly thinks he is.  This movie had so much potential and it didn't even collect the low-hanging fruit. 

First, I'm not buying Davis married to Jon Favreau.  About as mismatched as you could possibly be.  Not buying Bell being married to Bateman who is 12-years her senior but looked about 32 years older. 

There were so many plot holes that the plot itself was basically a hole. 

I distracted myself by taking in the scenery -- both the women and the locale -- and just let this piece of fluff movie drift on by.  I'd have been pissed if I'd paid to see it in the theater, but since it was a Netflix mailbox bonus, it was just a piece of somewhat unfulfilling candy.

[Kaos]

Jennifer's Body

I've found Megan Fox's dramatic range.  She can either sashay away from the camera showing her reasonably tight ass and legs or she can pout seductively in the general direction of the camera while showing some cleavage.  Ask her to perform a speaking part and everything grinds to a halt. 

That said, I've seen worse in the teen "possessed by a demon" genre. Fox managed the role reasonably well (see below).  She wasn't great, but she wasn't atrocious like some that I've run across over the years.  On the other hand, I've always been impressed by Amanda Seyfried. This wasn't her best work, but she did elevate the film just by being in it. 

The movie sort of meandered through the story. You had a pretty good idea of how it was going to end up -- and then you probably missed figuring some of that part of that out, anyway. 

Best line of the movie?  "Let's play boyfriend-girlfriend like we used to."   I wouldn't go so far to say it was worth watching just for that, but it was there.

It's not something I'd have the friends over to watch. It's not something I need to see over and over (*with one caveat) but it went down easy and was a decent waste of 90 minutes in the middle of the night.

[Godfather]

Couple's Retreat
Given the abysmal reviews I'd seen from others, I wasn't expecting much.  And that's exactly what I got.  Not much.  

Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman all looked pretty good in their underwear.  Akerman especially (see below). She just sort of did it for me.  

The location was outstanding.  Makes me want to visit that place some day.  Maybe spring break.  

But the movie itself was just sort of flat.  I really wish Vince Vaughn was as funny as he clearly thinks he is.  This movie had so much potential and it didn't even collect the low-hanging fruit.  

First, I'm not buying Davis married to Jon Favreau.  About as mismatched as you could possibly be.  Not buying Bell being married to Bateman who is 12-years her senior but looked about 32 years older.  

There were so many plot holes that the plot itself was basically a hole.  

I distracted myself by taking in the scenery -- both the women and the locale -- and just let this piece of fluff movie drift on by.  I'd have been pissed if I'd paid to see it in the theater, but since it was a Netflix mailbox bonus, it was just a piece of somewhat unfulfilling candy.

I looked up that place after we watched the movie (St Regis Bora Bora).   The rooms they stayed in were about $1200 a night.

[Saniflush]

Fuck that.  For 1200 a night it had best come with hookers and blow.

[Godfather]

Fuck that.  For 1200 a night it had best come with hookers and blow.

It is all inclusive, maybe that is included...I didn't read the fine print.

[Kaos]

I looked up that place after we watched the movie (St Regis Bora Bora).   The rooms they stayed in were about $1200 a night.

No way any of them could have afforded it. That was the biggest of all plot holes.  If you thought about that much, it chewed the rest of the film away.

[Godfather]

No way any of them could have afforded it. That was the biggest of all plot holes.  If you thought about that much, it chewed the rest of the film away.

Yes and no didn't they cover this in the beginning.  It was a special deal that is why all of them needed to go.  Plus if I remember correctly, the rate was cheaper because they had a cancellation thus allowing their group to go.  Finally they had to go to the couples side of the island.

However if we are being that analytical of a fictional movie... no ...none of them probably would have been able to afford that place.  Of course I didn't see their budgets or cash flow analysis in the end credits so I could be wrong.

[RWS]

Kaos, do you have any plans to see Shutter Island?