The Martian
I was really looking forward to seeing this film. I like Matt Damon. I like Michael Pena. I like Sean Bean. I usually like Jessica Chastain. I like Kate Mara.
I wondered why the film was rewarded at the Golden Globes in the Comedy category.
After watching The Martian, I understand.
It was beautifully shot. Made you believe the guy was stranded on Mars. But....
1) The scene of super skinny Matt Damon didn't match his face. He should have been gaunt and it was clear a body double was used. He didn't commit like Christian Bale would have. That was disappointing.
2) Launching with a tarp covering the nose?
3) Iron-Manning through space? C'mon.
4) Grabbing the guy at 90 mph or whatever? Please.
5) The "slingshot around earth" plan? Wasn't that one of Captain Kirk's trademark moves? To go back in time?
6) Once the china rocket came into play, the ridiculously risky and inprobissle turn the ship around rescue wasn't necessary. Send the supply ship and then use the time to prepare a rescue proper.
7) Kick around in the dust in a vast, enormous field desert and come across the one thing you need?
8) Dig up the rover from under all that dirt (impossible to begin with), get the thing dug out deep enough to lift it and THEN get the Pathfinder -- which weighed in at 1,973 pounds -- loaded on his rover? Without a crane at the site? Horseshit.
9) Drive 3500 miles in a rover designed to do 35 miles a day and not run out of food along the way? Bullshit. And then find the needle in the desert haystack without so much as a GPS? Pfaw!
So unrealistic it was funny. Therefore: Comedy.
Yes. I realize that all of those things that irked me could possibly, potentially, maybe work. But not all of them at the same time.
It was faux drama. It pretty much wasted Mara, Bean, Chewing Pettifore (or whatever that black guy with the glasses is called), Jeff Daniels (who portrayed the dumbest head of NASA I've ever seen) and even wasted Chastain and Pena for the most part. They were incidentals, and could have been played by any number of ex Law and Order character actors.
Mackenzie Davis as a NASA employee was an actress that seemed to have much more to offer, but her role was limited.
Kristen Wiig was also a complete bust in her role. Completely ineffective and absolute zero on the screen at all times. Why was she even there? She should have had the big forehead and tiny hands at least.
It's easy to see from my point of view why Leonardo DiCaprio would deserve the Oscar over Matt Damon when you take two films where their singular character carried an enormous amount of the film with little to play against but themselves.
Not saying "don't see The Martian" but saying that if you do see it -- and most of you already have or have already decided not to -- go in expecting the same level of "realism" you'd get from an Avengers movie. It will make it much more palatable.
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