Kaos' way behind movie reviews

[dallaswareagle]

It's duck season

It's wabbit season.

[Saniflush]

It's wabbit season.

Gator season

[GH2001]

Horror is Horror, no matter when the time. Yes, modern technology has made destroying and mangling the human body much easier, but a mangled body in 1942 is no different than one in 1992. You may not believe this but part of the reason that were able to adapt better was they had time to decompress, a lot them stayed in country after they finished and were assigned roles to help the local population rebuild, which in turn helped them rebuild themselves. Then they took a slow boat home. After one deployment I was home in less than 18 hours from being in country. We just didn't have time to adjust, we went from one extreme to the other.

I am not saying anybody is right or wrong on this. I still haven't made up my mind to go see the movie. As for him coming home and profiting from this I have no problem. I seriously doubt he went to Hollywood and was shopping scripts running around telling people he was the USA most deadly sniper. I would like to think they approached him and he saw a way to tell his story and have his family benefit from this.

Check casualty numbers from the civil war, ww1, ww2 compared to anything the last 20 years. It was a lot more common then. Those guys saw a lot more of it and it's not even close.

Fwiw- he gave the proceeds of the book to other soldiers in need coming home with disabilities.

[wesfau2]

Check casualty numbers from the civil war, ww1, ww2 compared to anything the last 20 years. It was a lot more common then. Those guys saw a lot more of it and it's not even close.

Fwiw- he gave the proceeds of the book to other soldiers in need coming home with disabilities.

I think it's nice that you and K are telling dallas and the others who served what they saw/experienced. 

[Snaggletiger]

I think it's nice that you and K are telling dallas and the others who served what they saw/experienced.

Meh....you seen one guy blown in half, you seen em' all.

[DnATL]

Meh....you seen one guy blown in half, you seen em' all.

You've seen guys blown by a halfling?  Hanging around again?

[Token]

I don't understand. His account doesn't matter because he spoke and wrote about it? Studies show that talking and writing reduce the effects of PTSD. Furthermore I think there should be more written about military experiences because it increases public awareness. Wouldn't you rather the entertainment generated by the war on terrorism come from and be profited by those who sacrificed to participate? No GIs from WWII profited from Saving Private Ryan.

His combat didn't matter because it wasn't a single battle in the Korean war? Generally I agree with your posts WT I just don't understand this one. Lots of US service members fought in battles besides the chosin reservoir and their accounts matter. (Besides, neither I nor you would know about it if someone hadn't said something.)

In my family I knew my great grandfather on my father's side who served in WWI, my grandfather and his brothers (that survived, on my father's side) who served, to a man, in the pacific theater of WWII and my grandfather on my mother's side who served in Korea. Didn't say shoot about it. None of them. That was just their way. On the other hand, if they had, I would be too busy managing my inherited fortune to talk to you idiots on an internet forum. Just because he wrote about it (like many, many before him) his heroism doesn't count any more?

Be aware that I'm not denigrating your decision to not read a book or watch a movie, just saying I don't understand your reasoning. This guy served in the military version of the NFL. He was the best of the best and, reasonably, got pretty lucky in engagements. Some folks, even in the NFL, are nobodies but some folks are record breakers. He wanted to tell his story and he profited from it before he was killed by some idiot. You can not to watch it for whatever reason but I have to question questionable reasoning.

I mean fudge it, I only have like 6 good stories from around a decade of farting around with the idiotic criminals Alabama has to offer but I'll still write a book and fill in a bunch of stories from some guy named token.

None of my stories are entertaining. Except maybe the the car door arrest. Or watching you roadside interview a burglar with a demarini.

[GH2001]

I think it's nice that you and K are telling dallas and the others who served what they saw/experienced.

Pleased to be quoting where we said that. All I said was the grotesque casualties were a lot more numerous in stated conflicts. Tell me where I am wrong. I apologize that I don't think Grenada was as bloody as D Day.

[Kaos]

I think it's nice that you and K are telling dallas and the others who served what they saw/experienced.

Did you forget how to read? 

I've seen video of what shit looked like from WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Middle East.  It's all horrible. 

All I said was that people who came back from WWII didn't bitch and whine and look for excuses. They worked their ass off.  They're the "greatest generation" for a reason. 

The explanation that maybe they had time to decompress because they spent time after the war helping rebuild makes sense.  So does the fact that they came home completely and utterly victorious with no doubt that what they'd sacrificed saved the world.  Haven't had that since (thanks, liberal hippie pussies). 

[Kaos]

The Irritation Game

This was a very interesting and moderately well-acted movie about espionage in World War II.  And then it turned into a paean to homosexuality. 

I enjoyed the espionage elements.   I did not enjoy the "poor persecuted misunderstood wonderful the gays" portion of the film. 

I think it could have told the espionage story well without devolving into a movie about the gays.  I think it could have sung praises to the gays and only briefly touched on the espionage elements.  Either film would have been fine with me because I would have known not to go see the second one. 

He could have confessed his queerness at a slightly later stage in the film and not in the hokey way it was presented here and you could have very easily ended the first movie moments before the confession and done "The Imitation Game 2: The Turning of the Pouf"  for all the homo parts. 

The movie sort of reminded me of A Beautiful Mind.  Except for the gays. 

I don't know why everybody is raving over Bentdick Cumperbitch though.  I don't care much for him as an actor in anything I've seen him in and this was no exception.  I find him difficult to look at and his performances, such as they are, always seem to me to be a variation on the same british asshole character.  I'm not impressed with him in the least.  Kiera Knightly was really sort of hot in Pirates but after seeing her here, I don't think she's going to age very well. 

Would I see the movie again knowing what I know now?  Yeah, probably so because I like movies that are historically based.  But I'd get up and walk out when it started wallowing in the gay stuff. 

[Snaggletiger]

The Suquelizer

So when The Equalizer came out, I really wanted to check this flick out.  Never got around to going to the theater but finally rented it last night.  I said before, Denzel Washington is one of my favorite actors, and still is. This steaming pile of puke wasn't his fault.  In fact, he was the only reason I didn't hit stop/eject. 

Here's the spoiler alert to save you $1.56 at the Redbox.  The first 45 minutes of it are dead.  Zero action.  Nothing going on. Just him working at Lowes or Home Depot or some giant hardware store. Or him eating at 2:00 in the morning at some diner, talking to a whur.  Whur gets beat up by her Russian pimp and Denzel finally springs into action and kills the pimp and his pimp friends.  This pisses off a bada$$ Russian dude who flies over and tracks him down.  They fight....in Lowes.  Denzel wins.

Yep.  That was the whole movie.  That was all the action.  So pathetically written, it boggles what little mind I have left.  Every scene had some new character that you knew nothing about and who turns out to have no relation to the plot.  Out of the blue, the Russian dude goes into the office of a sand and gravel business, has some terse words with the boss, and then beats him up.  Why?  Who was he?  Denzel off'd a pimp. Denzel does make two cops give back the protection money they took from an Asian lady at her business.  Were they tied to the Russian? Who knows? 

What was Denzel's past?  You know he was some kind of CIA/FBI/SEAL/SOMETHING.  They never said and never tried to build that story line.  He did meet with a lady at her house who apparently had something to do with the government.  Well, at least she had an American flag standing in the corner.

Oh, he looks at his watch and times things a lot.  So, there was that.  Umm....yeah.     

[Kaos]

Bad Word

Pretty predictable but fairly interesting. 

Jason Bateman as an ass who enters a kids spelling bee at 40. He was pretty good as was the little Indian short round. 

The final act was weak but overall a harmless movie worth watching once.

[Kaos]

Fury

Fuck this fucking fuck of a fucking movie was fucking pretty fucking good.

I'm no stranger to the word, but the first five minutes of this movie took its use to extremes that would make scarface blush.  It was so bad that my friend says if it continues at that level we have to turn it off. 

It leveled off a little after that but it was definitely a fuck fest at the start.

Most of the characters were sort of cardboard. Weren't bad but I never got as attached to them as I should.

Some really crazy gore, some moderately interesting tank battles (but not as many as you'd think) and a sort of ridiculous over dramatized finale. 

They spent a lot of time on character development and unfortunately never really made me care enough for the movie to be completely fucking effective.

[Kaos]

The Loft

Rich white people problems.

Hard to find anyone to sympathize with in this ode to horndog excess.

I will say I've apparently been attending the wrong conferences. 

It was good that it kept twisting things until you really weren't sure what was what. The flash back flash forwards were disconcerting and detracted from the pace.  It wasn't as tense as it could have been for that reason.

Five guys have a fuck pad until one screws it up for everybody.

The final denoument was silly. Every one of those skeevy fucks would be in jail. 

[The Six]

Thanks for saving me some dough on Loft and Fury, K. Have you seen Foxcatcher or do you plan to? Looks interesting. I like "true" crime stories.

[Kaos]

Thanks for saving me some dough on Loft and Fury, K. Have you seen Foxcatcher or do you plan to? Looks interesting. I like "true" crime stories.

Yep. It's on the list.  I read this story a long time ago.  Crazy.  Curious to see how it's done.

Also want watch that one with schillinger from Oz playing the drum instructor.

Fury was ok to watch.  It didn't have the emotional impact of private Ryan or lone survivor. It wasn't bad -- except for the part played by Shane from walking dead. He wasn't good. Cajun? Dumbass? Hard to say what he was going for.

Also wouldn't say DONT see loft. It's about the same level as that idris Elba home invAsion movie. But no redeeming characters.  All jackholes. Every single one.  That makes it hard.  I need a hero. Everybody can't be the bad guy.

[dallaswareagle]

Pleased to be quoting where we said that. All I said was the grotesque casualties were a lot more numerous in stated conflicts. Tell me where I am wrong. I apologize that I don't think Grenada was as bloody as D Day.

Not even close, different scope, different mission. But you know what, when rounds are coming down range at you, you don't tend to compare. And buttholes get tight, grown men cry and are scared no matter what the year.

[Kaos]

Seventh Son
Probably saw more trailers for this movie in the last year than any other.  Maybe twice as many.  Seemed like every movie I went for half of ever to see included a preview for this one.  In all seriousness, I know I started seeing trailers for it in early summer.  June or July.  Of 2012. The film was originally scheduled to come out in February 2013.  Then October 2013. Then February 2014. There were studio mergers, bankruptcies and all kinds of other crap associated with it. 

Big buildup for nothing.  The mess was never fixed. Should have left this turd in the can and flushed.

Anybody remember Beastmaster?  Cheesy old world battle/quest/sorcery flick with crazy witches, weird temples, Rip Torn as Maaax, Dad from Good Times, Mark (Lori's brother) Singer, and naked Tanya Roberts?  The dialogue was stilted, clunky and full of mumbo jumbo. The acting was hammy at best. The movie was so horrible it was almost good.

Seventh Son is the Beastmaster for this generation.  Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Kit Harrington (jon snow) and the guy from the worst of the three Narnia films.  Lots of cheesy dialogue delivered badly.  A heaping dose of mumbo jumbo and some ridiculous babble about witch talismans, spooks, ghasts, doofleorks, trindlaparkens and a bunch of other shit that didn't make sense.  The acting was worse than hammy. The movie was just plain horrible.  It never crossed over in the "so bad it's good" territory.  It just languished in the so-bad realm until it wobbled to a ridiculous end. 

There was no naked Tanya to redeem it.  No awesome John Amos bad dialogue. No twin weasels named Kodo and Podo. No rings with eyeballs in them. No seeing-eye hawks. In other words there was none of the goofy campiness that made the awfully bad Beastmaster a classic.  Had this film turned up the camp it could have been better. It just wasn't. 

I'm rarely looking at my watch in a movie wondering how much longer it can possibly drag on, but I was here.  I looked at least three times and half dozed twice. 

Bridges couldn't decide if he was channeling Slingblade or Yoda so he settled into a mishmash mouth-full-of-marbles mix of both.  I got the sense that he was supposed to be cantakerously lovable and funny. Didn't get there. 

Julianne Moore should have to decline her Oscar nomination, retroactively return all of her previous nominations and agree not to appear on screen except in lesbian scenes with Kate Beckinsale or Amanda Seyfried for the next four years.  She was that gallingly awful. 

Jon (Harrington) Snow was wasted in a five minute opening sequence that was hideously bad in every respect.  I suspect that the film was in the can so very long ago that Jon Snow when hired wasn't the phenomenon that Jon Snow is now.  Had the  directors known who he was going to turn out to be, they might have used him in the main role instead of the kid who got it.  He was bad too.  Wouldn't have saved the movie having Jon Snow in the lead, but might have been more compelling. 

Digimon Honshu (sounds like a Pokemon character) was similarly wasted. 

The soundtrack was also fucktacularly bad.  Overwrought and intrusive. 

Can't think of a single thing this film did right. 

The movie was about some quest or something and a witch locked up in a cage who then got pissed when she got out.  Old dude used to have wood for her and now wants to put wood (and a match) to her.  A bunch of CGI action mixed in with senseless made up words, Yoda and some other hoo doo.  And a final scene that wasted the purpose of the entire thing.

NOTE:
Have since learned that this was an adaption of some young adult fantasy book or something.  And that it was originally conceived as a vehicle for Jennifer Lawrence and Alex (magic mike) Pettyfer.  Wouldn't have mattered.  The script was a shit show, the performances by Bridges and Moore sprayed excrement on every frame and the CGI wasn't that special.  Dud. 

[Kaos]

Kingsman

From the director of the better-than-expected Kick Ass comes this combination of James Bond, Jason Bourne and Kill Bill.  And it's really, really good.  The movie knows where it owes its debts and even specifically references Bond and Bourne. 

Not sure I've enjoyed a movie more in quite a while.  Not that it's the best movie I've seen, but just that it was all well done and a good mix of silly and serious.  Very good stuff. 

Essential story is a street punk being recruited into an elite British secret service organization.  Even though he's not the conventional selection, he proves his worth and ends up trying to save the world. 

Some stunningly elaborate sequences of violence, a hamming-it-up Samuel L. Jackson, a girl with knives for legs, a shockingly old Luke Skywalker, some cute puppies and occasionally hard to understand accents all merged together to make a qualify film.  it didn't waste time in distracting subplots, didn't follow the trite (and easy) path of trying to create a love story between the main character and one of his competitors.  It just plowed along with the story from start to finish and didn't really waste a frame. 

The humorous aspects of the movie were well placed, well executed and pretty clever.

Watch for a sweet little call back to Trading Places toward the end after mentioning the movie earlier in the film. 

It took balls for the studio to release this movie on the same weekend that 50 Shits of Fuck came out.  Any other weekend and I think this is the top grossing movie of the year (at least so far).  We went to a Saturday night showing at 9:20.  Yeah, both theaters showing 50 Fucks of Slut were full of greasy grinning men and their dates (reeking of the new perfume from Max Factor 'hoping I get laid').  But there weren't many empty seats in Kingsman either. 

I hope a good movie like this doesn't get lost in the blizzard surrounding the 50 Dicks of Skeet. It deserves to be seen.

[Kaos]

Birdman

This is why I hate the Oscars. 

I was really looking forward to watching this movie. I like Michael Keaton, hated that he ended up slumming it in garbage movies like Lindsay Lohan's awful Love Bug remake, and was glad to see all the praise he was getting for this allegedly career defining/reviving role. The trailers made the film look appealing and the cast which included Edward Norton, Emma Stone, Amy Ryan and Zach Gulliverfarkineasras was quality. 

This movie sucked. It sucked beyond all suckage imaginable.  Apparently it is some inside joke between filmmakers and theater lovers.  I don't give a shit about that inside joke. It's a condemnation of the public's preference for action and fun movies over the pretense of the THE-AH-TURRRR. Don't give a fuck about that either. I'd rather watch a fun film than this self-absorbed tripe.

Every performance was over the top and invalid. None of it rang true.

Can't figure out why Keaton is getting such praise for this film.  I've seen a thousand performances better than this. Hell, Robert Downey Jr, in any of the Iron Man films, is better than this overwrought grimace-fest. I thought his effort in this film was sub par. He was better in Love Bug and The Other Guys. Before I watched this I was hoping he'd win an Oscar.  Now I hope it goes to Jeff Daniels for Dumber and Dumber and Dumber in an upset. 

Emma Stone, who I usually like and mostly think is hot, needs to eat a sandwich or something. She was too thin and her eyes were distractingly enormous. 

The director's "bold choice" to shoot the movie essentially in one take was dizzying. Half the film was essentially following someone down a hall that changed lighting as you went along. 

The score made me want to murder kittens and puppies.  An overbearing jangly discordant drum beat overwhelmed the film. It was "jazz drum" I think, but it was annoying to the point that there were several times I wasn't sure I could even finish the film.  I wanted it to stop. 

If I'd gone to the theater to see this, I would have walked out.  I would have walked out within the first 30 minutes.  I couldn't have endured it, particularly the drums. Since I watched it at home I was able to mute the thing when the drums got to the point I thought I was going to scream.

The story was lightweight. Ridiculous even. 

And the ending?  If the director were here I'd tell him to go fuck himself with a chicken wing. 

Birdman?  The only bird here was one giant turkey.  The film was a huge gobbler and I'm a turkey for wasting money renting the thing. 

Makes me worry that I'm going to hate Whiplash, too.