Too bad I'm not a wizard.

[evilme]

I don't give a rat's ass that it would cause pain and humiliation to the opposing team - I'd do it anyway.

my first trick would guarantee us a national championship - and be so covert that enchantment wouldn't be suspected.

No, no, no, it's not gonna be that our team knows all the plays the other guys are gonna run.  NO!  It's not a mass case of fumbles and interceptions.  No, it's not even a haze over the minds of the other team like they'd just been locked in a car with 5 Jamaicans, a pound of weed, and a water-bong.

I want the other team to fear, to tremble, to fake injury to avoid having to step foot on the killing field.... to do this, I would toy with physics.

Everytime our players touched/tackled/blocked/pushed/hit or in anyway made physical contact with an opposing player (during play), I'd want that contact to be equal to what it would be if our player was running as fast and hard as he could at the player.

so - a common block off the line of scrimmage would be like all of our linemen getting a 20 yard head of fucking steam and plowing into the defensive line!

The D-line - they would knock the o-line so far back the QB would HAVE to take snaps from shotgun.

DBs - you know that little press-man technique where you come up and bump the WR off his route?  Well how about knocking him on his ass?

That little bump on a QB just as he gets a pass off?  BOOM MUTHERFUCKER!

Now, don't get me wrong... I don't want to injure anybody - I just want them to wish they were injured.


yeah



what would you evil assed conjurers of doom do?

[D-Day]

Landmines.

[Jumbo]

Landmines.

Give E'm Herpes? That's a gift that keeps giving the whole year.

[stewiegriffin]

Give E'm Herpes? That's a gift that keeps giving the whole year.

thats kinda the same as having abammer for a neighbor, no matter what you do they will be there

[Townhallsavoy]

I'd keep everything the same as it is right now except one thing - whenever the players entered the locker room to put the pads on, they suddenly all had vaginas instead of penises.  Think about it - NONE of them would say anything about it.  Could you imagine if your manland was transformed into a cooter?  Could you really tell your buddy about that?  Could you tell your coach?  Could you tell your trainer?  No.  You'd be so embarrassed that you'd keep your mouth shut. 

Then they get out on the field.  Do you really think they're going to be concentrating on football?  Everybody watching would just think they other team sucked compared to us. 

[AUChizad]

I wouldn't complain.
Think of all the hot lesbian sex.
And you could kick your buddies' asses from the ladies tee.
And there's plenty of bars that let you in for free and sometimes even drink for free on certain nights.

[Townhallsavoy]

I wouldn't complain.
Think of all the hot lesbian sex.
And you could kick your buddies' asses from the ladies tee.
And there's plenty of bars that let you in for free and sometimes even drink for free on certain nights.

I forgot to add that it changes back once the game ends.  That way there's no excuses.  Nobody would believe them.  They'd say, "My dick turned into a vagina right before the game started!"  And everyone would respond, "We know!  You just got beat like a bunch of pubescent girls in a trailer park!"

[Jumbo]

I wouldn't complain.
And there's plenty of bars that let you in for free and sometimes even drink for free on certain nights.

Chad you can keep your manhood and still drink free at the Quest.

[AUChizad]

Your physical manhood perhaps.

[Kaos]

I don't give a rat's ass that it would cause pain and humiliation to the opposing team - I'd do it anyway.

my first trick would guarantee us a national championship - and be so covert that enchantment wouldn't be suspected.

No, no, no, it's not gonna be that our team knows all the plays the other guys are gonna run.  NO!  It's not a mass case of fumbles and interceptions.  No, it's not even a haze over the minds of the other team like they'd just been locked in a car with 5 Jamaicans, a pound of weed, and a water-bong.

I want the other team to fear, to tremble, to fake injury to avoid having to step foot on the killing field.... to do this, I would toy with physics.

Everytime our players touched/tackled/blocked/pushed/hit or in anyway made physical contact with an opposing player (during play), I'd want that contact to be equal to what it would be if our player was running as fast and hard as he could at the player.

so - a common block off the line of scrimmage would be like all of our linemen getting a 20 yard head of fucking steam and plowing into the defensive line!

The D-line - they would knock the o-line so far back the QB would HAVE to take snaps from shotgun.

DBs - you know that little press-man technique where you come up and bump the WR off his route?  Well how about knocking him on his ass?

That little bump on a QB just as he gets a pass off?  BOOM MUTHERFUCKER!

Now, don't get me wrong... I don't want to injure anybody - I just want them to wish they were injured.


yeah



what would you evil assed conjurers of doom do?

You may not be a wizard, but I've heard your vahzin hangs like the sleeve of one...

[Jumbo]

Your physical manhood perhaps.

true, nice comeback

[wesfau]

You may not be a wizard, but I've heard your vahzin hangs like the sleeve of one...

You took the words...

What a ridiculous post.

[DnATL]

This would present much interesting banter in the CBS booth
"Well, Verne, looks like he muffed that punt.  And now he's down with cramps!  The equipment trainer needs to give him a bit more pad.
Gary, I can't help but admire Knowshon's camel toe - I think the only one better is the toe of Tebow"  <-- actually, he may have already been said that

If their vazhins did hang like sleeve of wizard, that could be a benefit as well - they would be lip-tripping constantly.

Ultimately, there is no way the NCAA allows this.  They have been trying to shorten the games - can you imagine how long halftime would be if 85 women all had to go to the locker/powder room at one time?  Every week would be like the super bowl pregame, with the amount of time it would take them to get ready to play.  And the Georgia "boys" would not be asking to all wear the same little black outfit, although it might have reversed the pitcher-catcher roles for the UGA Davids a few years back.....

[autiger96]

I just wanted to see if my first post worked

[Kaos]

I just wanted to see if my first post worked

It didn't. 

[AUChizad]

It didn't.

 :lol: