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Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...

Thrilla

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Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« on: March 11, 2009, 02:15:12 PM »
Chuck Norris.  Sonofabitch is 69 years old!  And, for the first time, he kinda looks it in this photo (nice hair color, Chucky):



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Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris

by Mike Krumboltz   

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain."

On your feet, slackers. Tuesday is Chuck Norris' 69th birthday. The macho star of such mind-blowing epics as "Slaughter in San Francisco" and "Lone Wolf McQuade" has made a career out of looking tough and kicking butt... all while rockin' a serious mullet.

"Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter.'"


Over the years, Mr. Norris (we dare not call him Chuck) has built up a dedicated fan base in the Search box. "Chuck Norris facts" are particularly popular. For those who are unaware, these are "Paul Bunyanesque exaggerations" of Norris' powers. They became a popular online joke several years ago and are still a source of amusement for many. An example: "Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits." Another: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried." You get the point.

"Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas."

In honor of a guy who scares the hell out of the boogieman, we tried our best to track down the origin of the Chuck Norris fact phenomenon. Near as we can tell, a site called the "Chuck Norris Fact Generator" deserves the credit. Started by a college student named Ian Spector, the site started small, went viral, and sparked a lot of imitators. It's still out there fighting the good fight by raising Norris awareness. Oh, and the "facts" were also a longtime joke on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," but we believe the site came first. If we have that wrong, may Chuck Norris have mercy on our souls.

"Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience."


Mr. Norris has commented on the facts, saying, "Some are funny. Some are pretty far out." And sometimes, it's hard to tell the "facts" from the facts. Regardless, have a happy birthday, Mr. Norris. And please don't hurt us.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/buzz-log-chuck-norris.html

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chinook

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2009, 02:16:06 PM »
chuck is a pussy.
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Saniflush

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Thrilla

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2009, 02:19:38 PM »
I now fear for both of your lives.
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Jumbo

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2009, 02:22:43 PM »
Chuck can make it rain.
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2009, 02:26:34 PM »
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

chinook

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2009, 02:33:20 PM »
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter semen from 100 seamen. 
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2009, 02:42:16 PM »
May you receive a swift roundhouse kick to testicular region.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

ssgaufan

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2009, 02:58:21 PM »
thanks for noticing Thrilla.  Oh wait, you didn't.  Fuck all of yous.   :fu:
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Tarheel

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #9 on: March 11, 2009, 07:12:21 PM »
thanks for noticing Thrilla.  Oh wait, you didn't.  Fuck all of yous.   :fu:

Happy Birthday...I refuse to post on Thrilla's other gay-ass topic in your honor.
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The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. 
-Ayn Rand

The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.
-The Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-Milton Friedman

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
-Ronald Reagan

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson

Thrilla

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #10 on: March 11, 2009, 07:27:17 PM »
Happy Birthday...I refuse to post on Thrilla's other gay-ass topic in your honor.

Why do you hate birthday cakes?
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Jumbo

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Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2009, 07:48:12 PM »
Why do you hate birthday beefcakes?
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Argo

Re: Happy Belated Birthday to the man, the myth, the legend...
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2009, 11:13:46 PM »
May you receive a swift roundhouse kick to testicular region.

It would have to be in the testicular region, otherwise he'd break a hip.
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