Fuck My Life

[boartitz]

http://www.fmylife.com/

[Ogre]

At least post some pictures of her first.


...oh wait, you said 'Life'...nevermind

[boartitz]

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

[boartitz]

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

[Ogre]

I checked out the site, and there are some great stories on there.  I've got a few FML's I could add.

[Thrilla]

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

Today, I woke up in the hospital after trying to kill myself. When my mom walked in to see me, the first thing she said was, "well, I guess this is just another thing that you fail at." The nurse laughed. FML

 :thumbsup:

[Aubie16]

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class i did the same thing to him, he broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team, nobody laughed. FML

 

[War Eagle!!!]

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone boo'ed. FML

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

[Pell City Tiger]

Today, at lunch, my sister decided to come out to my parents. She said, "Mom, can you please pass the salad to a homosexual?" My mom passed the salad to me. FML

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized. To celebrate, we went out to dinner at this expensive restaurant. After dinner, he goes to the restroom. A couple minutes later, the check comes with a note saying: "Thanks! Gonna enjoy bachelor life. It's over." Left me with the $200 bill. He drove. FML