Moore considered frontrunner for Nobel
Moore, a national hero for his peacemaking efforts, is considered the frontrunner for this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Alabama head coach Nick Saban had this to say.
"Cops mace peacemakers all the time. They have to get the good guys out of the way so they can beat the living hell out of the REAL troublemakers with their clubs, aight?
"We don't believe in individual awards around here, aight? If they give this Peace Pipe deal to Brandon, it's a team award, aight? We're all heroes around here. Even the ones that aren't very talented and cost us the game against Utah, aight? They're heroes, too. We mace those guys every day for motivation, aight?
"So don't come in here talking about awards and expectations, aight? When's the last time you ever flew a plane into a burning ship at Pearl Harbor, huh? When did you ever fight the Nazis at the Battle of Bull Run? What the hell do you know about coaching, huh? Have you ever led men into battle and watched them die in your arms? Why don't you go out, aight, and come back when you've grown up and make some sense.
"No, I never said I wanted to coach the damn Nobel Peeps. Who are they anyway, some club team? I'm not answerin' no more questions, aight?"
Brandon Moore was unavailable for comment as he was being measured for a life-size hero statue that will be erected in honor of his peacemaking efforts. Although Moore is taller than Saban, his life-size statue will be required to be shorter than Saban's life-sized statue by University policy.