It's like two tree sloths fighting with tasers.
I'm glad you rephrased this statement with this
It's really more like two gummy bears fighting with marshmallows.
because the former statement would just be impossible. See, tree sloths (whether you're talking about two toed sloths, seen here, looking quite seductive, I might add)
(or three toed sloths, seen here)
have these very hard toenails that are actually extensions of their hands/feet. It would be virtually impossible for them to handle a taser (seen here, in a life size model)
due to the fact that the butt of the gun just wouldn't fit in between their toes. In fact, the genus name of sloths is
Choloepus , and when translated into English it literally means "lame foot".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-toed_slothDoes anybody really think that anything with a lame foot can hold a taser? I think not.
So, in closing, I really have to take a shit, and I think it might be diarrhea, but my hot coworker is stationed right by our single bathroom so it looks like I'll be squirting until I get home.