Decisions, decisions

Tarheel · « **Reply #20 on:** January 29, 2009, 11:43:11 PM »

Quote from: Greaseyweasel on January 29, 2009, 11:23:01 PM

...with pictures!

EXACTLY!

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #21 on:** January 29, 2009, 11:52:54 PM »

Quote from: Tarheel on January 29, 2009, 11:43:11 PM

EXACTLY!

As Rodney Carrington would say "show those puppies to me". Pics pls!

Jumbo · « **Reply #22 on:** January 30, 2009, 12:38:16 AM »

He got into a fight and Lost his phone.

Ogre · « **Reply #23 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:02:23 AM »

Quote from: Jumbo on January 30, 2009, 12:38:16 AM

He got into a fight and Lost his phone.

This is pretty damn close to what happened.

There I was, whipping out my iPhone to take some bodacious pictures for you fucks, and the manager spotted me. He told me that no pictures were allowed inside the club. I've had a few rounds of scotch and a few brews right now. I told him that I just dropped $200 on one of his employees, and if I want to take pictures I feel like I have earned that right. For some reason, $200 and a bar tab does not afford you the right to take pictures at Shotgun Willie's. Here's the only one that I have (it's not worth a shit):

It's worth noting that the iPhone has no zoom on its camera. The bitch I was trying to take a picture of was unbelievably hot. Hell, 80% of them were hot.

Long story short, after a good 'discussion' with management, I decided to leave. The bitch I dropped all that money on was Swedish, and smoking fucking hot. I wish I had a picture of those titties. I wreak of stale cigarettes and Wild Orchid perfume. I'm not as drunk as I want to be. I have to work in the morning. I'm pretty pissed off and I'm seriously considering walking over to the Penthouse. If I do, I know I'll drop another wad on some other slut, and I am unfortunately too sober to justify it right now. Damn this tolerance I've built up.

Fuck each and every one of you. I'm staying in Denver tomorrow night, and I should be off of work by 3:00 pm at the latest. My Swedish whore literally begged me to come back tomorrow night - to which I told her "I bet you do, so I can drop another wad of cash in your lap." My old whore from last time no longer works there, so I'm going to give the Penthouse a whirl tomorrow night. I'm heading to Beaver Creek on Saturday for a few day's of skiing with the old ball-and-chain, so tomorrow is my last night of bachelor fun. I plan on making the most of it.

Yes, I am well aware that I am a piece of shit. I am a worthless human being. I fucking love every minute of it. Suck my dick.

Tarheel · « **Reply #24 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:12:52 AM »

Quote from: Ogre on January 30, 2009, 01:02:23 AM

This is pretty damn close to what happened.
...

The bitch I was trying to take a picture of was unbelievably hot.
...
The bitch I dropped all that money on was Swedish, and smoking fucking hot. I wish I had a picture of those titties.
...

Dammit! I wish you had a picture of those tits too!

Edit:
Thanks for trying anyway...never let it be said I don't recognize effort.

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #25 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:21:01 AM »

Damn management and their rules. Damn good continuation from the first post. Some titty pics would have been nice, but hell at least you tried and even went as far as trying to reason with them as to why you should have been afforded the right to take some. +10 :thumbsup:

Ogre · « **Reply #26 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:25:35 AM »

Somewhere in between my 5th and 7th consecutive lap dance from the Swede, she looked in the mirror behind me and freaked out. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she thought she saw a cop. I asked her what the big deal was, and she told me that if she didn't have both of her feet on the box in front of me (which she never did, btw) that we would both be arrested. And I thought Alabama had some backward-assed laws!

About 30 minutes later, 2 cops walked in and went directly to the area where I recieved my lap dances. I do have something to be thankful for in that they didn't walk in earlier. I would be up shit creek if they saw that whore all over my shit the way she was.

Tarheel · « **Reply #27 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:29:38 AM »

Lucky; it would have been awkward having your better half bail your ass out under the circumstances of that kind of charge.

Ogre · « **Reply #28 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:32:58 AM »

Quote from: Tarheel on January 30, 2009, 01:29:38 AM

Lucky; it would have been awkward having your better half bail your ass out under the circumstances of that kind of charge.

I would have footed the bill for a bail bondsman like I had to do back in my college years (thanks Thrilla, you piece of shit).

Tarheel · « **Reply #29 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:35:35 AM »

Quote from: Ogre on January 30, 2009, 01:32:58 AM

I would have footed the bill for a bail bondsman like I had to do back in my college years (thanks Thrilla, you piece of shit).

Sounds like there's a story there.

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #30 on:** January 30, 2009, 01:40:38 AM »

Quote from: Tarheel on January 30, 2009, 01:29:38 AM

Lucky; it would have been awkward having your better half bail your ass out under the circumstances of that kind of charge.

That would have sucked. If I were in that circumstance, I would not have got bailed out and it would have cost me a fortune in a house, car and lawyer fees.

Saniflush · « **Reply #31 on:** January 30, 2009, 07:36:00 AM »

Quote from: Ogre on January 30, 2009, 01:32:58 AM

I would have footed the bill for a bail bondsman like I had to do back in my college years (thanks Thrilla, you piece of shit).

I would've got your back. I'm sure Western Union works out there.

I find it hard to believe that they could arrest you. Her maybe. I would have to call shenanigans on that shit.

Ogre · « **Reply #32 on:** January 30, 2009, 08:16:40 AM »

Quote from: Saniflush on January 30, 2009, 07:36:00 AM

I would got your back. I'm sure Western Union works out there.

I find it hard to believe that they could arrest you. Her maybe. I would have to call shenanigans on that shit.

Yeah, now that I'm sober, I'm thinking that she didn't know what she was talking about. After all, she is a blonde stripper - usually not the sharpest tool in the shed.

chinook · « **Reply #33 on:** January 30, 2009, 09:09:48 AM »

shotgun willie never fails for a good story.

AuburnChopper 3.0 · « **Reply #34 on:** January 30, 2009, 09:11:10 AM »

The red x is all we get for a pic?? damn.... Sounds like you had fun as usual... Careful tonight, Penthouse might employ better bouncers.... just sayin..

Ogre · « **Reply #35 on:** January 30, 2009, 09:51:07 AM »

Quote from: AuburnChopper2.0 on January 30, 2009, 09:11:10 AM

The red x is all we get for a pic?? damn.... Sounds like you had fun as usual... Careful tonight, Penthouse might employ better bouncers.... just sayin..

That's weird, the picture shows up on my computer. It's nothing special anyway.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #36 on:** January 30, 2009, 10:43:49 AM »

Quote from: Ogre on January 30, 2009, 09:51:07 AM

That's weird, the picture shows up on my computer. It's nothing special anyway.

Especially if you're in it.

Ogre · « **Reply #37 on:** January 30, 2009, 10:54:06 AM »

Quote from: Harvey Birdman on January 30, 2009, 10:43:49 AM

Especially if you're in it.

Don't you have an ambulance to chase?

Saniflush · « **Reply #38 on:** January 30, 2009, 10:57:09 AM »

Quote from: Ogre on January 30, 2009, 10:54:06 AM

Don't you have an ambulance to chase?

Today should be shelf leveling day.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #39 on:** January 30, 2009, 11:07:42 AM »

You guys slay me. Slay me I tell ya'. Actually, I've been working with this damn tire on the wheelbarrow. Today is deposit day and if I don't get this thing fixed before 2:00...