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In this toughening economy, people are still morons...

Kaos

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In this toughening economy, people are still morons...
« on: January 15, 2009, 05:38:11 PM »
I was in a golf shop today in Montgomery.  Had a trip to make and decided to stop over for the break and to look at a few things. 

Guy comes in.  He's probably 5-3, no shit.  White guy.  Wearing baggy jeans, sketcher's shoes, an oversized polo shirt and giant fake earrings in each ear.  He's got a chick with him who's probably close to six feet.  He doesn't make it up to her boobs.  She's got on stretch pants, white boots, a black Tshirt and a cutoff black coat with fur around the collar and edges.  Morticia Adams did her makeup.

Guy walks up to the counter and this is the conversation.

Dude: "Yo.  Ya'll ain't got no job openings do you?" 

Manager: Sorry, but we aren't hiring right now. Things are tight after Christmas and we even cut our part time guys back to 15 hours until the spring.

Dude: Man. Ain't nobody hiring round here. I done been to eight or nine places and ain't nobody got no jobs. 

Girlfriend (as she comes up behind him, leans over and props her boobs on the back of his head): He's a good worker. I'd make sure he came in on time and everything. 

Manager:  I'm really sorry, but we just don't have anything now. 

Dude: Yeah.  Okay. Whatever.  I guess we just go on to the next mall and see what's up there.

GF (whining): We been doing this for two hours already.   

Dude (as they leave):  Yeah, fuck all these snobby assholes.  They got jobs...


I started to catch the guy in the parking lot and help him out with five simple tips.   

1) Never ask if somebody is hiring. They aren't.  Ask for an application.
2) Don't drag your girlfriend with you and let her plead your case
3) Use some semblance of proper english and don't address the manager as "yo"
4) Dress like you want a job instead of a cover shoot for WhigGansta's latest CD
5) Don't cuss the place.


« Last Edit: January 15, 2009, 05:41:35 PM by Kaos »
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

ssgaufan

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Re: In this toughening economy, people are still morons...
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2009, 08:58:32 PM »
I gave classes to high school juniors and seniors about the job hunting process.  Your five tips were part of it, plus a few more.  I wish I could've recorded what you witnessed, that would've been great class material.
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Re: In this toughening economy, people are still morons...
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2009, 05:02:59 PM »
I teach a bunch of kids who will be that guy in five years.

Yesterday, a kid came to me after class and asked to see his grade.  I showed him the Nobel-worthy 22 he had achieved in 10th grade regular English.  You would think he would have thought about the three homework assignments he didn't complete.  You would think he would have remembered the numerous times he had fallen asleep during class.  His response?

"MAAAAN, why you givin' me that grade?  That ain't fair."

"_________, you have three homework assignments that you didn't do.  I'm on the verge of writing you up for sleeping.  That's the grade you've earned." 

"Well, I can do other homeworks, right?  Why did you give me a low grade like that?"

"I didn't give you any grade.  I gave you work to do, and you didn't do it.  I've given you notes and classwork to do for the test on Friday, and you haven't done it.  The 22 represents YOUR effort."

"Well, can't you just give me a higher grade so that it's not so low?"   

"DIE IN A FIRE, NUTFUCK."  <---- I didn't really say this. 

I teach some dumbasses. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

AUTailgatingRules

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Re: In this toughening economy, people are still morons...
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2009, 05:06:28 PM »
I teach a bunch of kids who will be that guy in five years.

Yesterday, a kid came to me after class and asked to see his grade.  I showed him the Nobel-worthy 22 he had achieved in 10th grade regular English.  You would think he would have thought about the three homework assignments he didn't complete.  You would think he would have remembered the numerous times he had fallen asleep during class.  His response?

"MAAAAN, why you givin' me that grade?  That ain't fair."

"_________, you have three homework assignments that you didn't do.  I'm on the verge of writing you up for sleeping.  That's the grade you've earned." 

"Well, I can do other homeworks, right?  Why did you give me a low grade like that?"

"I didn't give you any grade.  I gave you work to do, and you didn't do it.  I've given you notes and classwork to do for the test on Friday, and you haven't done it.  The 22 represents YOUR effort."

"Well, can't you just give me a higher grade so that it's not so low?"   

"DIE IN A FIRE, NUTFUCK."  <---- I didn't really say this. 

I teach some dumbasses. 

It will only get worse in the world according to Obama.
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Kaos

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Re: In this toughening economy, people are still morons...
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2009, 05:12:39 PM »
I teach a bunch of kids who will be that guy in five years.

Yesterday, a kid came to me after class and asked to see his grade.  I showed him the Nobel-worthy 22 he had achieved in 10th grade regular English.  You would think he would have thought about the three homework assignments he didn't complete.  You would think he would have remembered the numerous times he had fallen asleep during class.  His response?

"MAAAAN, why you givin' me that grade?  That ain't fair."

"_________, you have three homework assignments that you didn't do.  I'm on the verge of writing you up for sleeping.  That's the grade you've earned." 

"Well, I can do other homeworks, right?  Why did you give me a low grade like that?"

"I didn't give you any grade.  I gave you work to do, and you didn't do it.  I've given you notes and classwork to do for the test on Friday, and you haven't done it.  The 22 represents YOUR effort."

"Well, can't you just give me a higher grade so that it's not so low?"   

"DIE IN A FIRE, NUTFUCK."  <---- I didn't really say this. 

I teach some dumbasses. 

Be prepared for intervention from the principal.  

The first year I taught, I made it my mission to demand and expect excellence in everything they did.  It was much tougher on me, but I thought it would benefit the kids.  

I taught history.  They got notes.  I gave them my outline to study by, but told them that the outline was only the skeleton, that the meat and muscle was in what we discussed in class, the films we watched, the assignments I gave them.  

When I gave them tests they had 50 multiple choice questions and then had to choose from a set of topics on which to write.  

The multiple choice was 50% of the grade.  The essay portion was 50%.  They had to write on two topics. Of the 25 points available for each, 19 points came from content the other six came from grammar and spelling.  

I made them do in and out of class writings, each graded the same way -- content, grammar and spelling.  

We were on the block system, so I only had them until Christmas that year and then got another set of kids in January.  

Before school started back I had to go to a meeting with the principal.  He was "adjusting" the grade of one of the kids who thought she deserved a C, but had gotten a D.  He added back all the points I had taken away for spelling and grammar to give it to her.  

When she and her mom left, I was told to "cut out all that kind of shit. Just teach history.  You're not an English teacher."  

And we wonder why our kids are lazy dumbasses.  
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Re: In this toughening economy, people are still morons...
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2009, 01:09:31 AM »
Be prepared for intervention from the principal.  

The first year I taught, I made it my mission to demand and expect excellence in everything they did.  It was much tougher on me, but I thought it would benefit the kids.  

I taught history.  They got notes.  I gave them my outline to study by, but told them that the outline was only the skeleton, that the meat and muscle was in what we discussed in class, the films we watched, the assignments I gave them.  

When I gave them tests they had 50 multiple choice questions and then had to choose from a set of topics on which to write.  

The multiple choice was 50% of the grade.  The essay portion was 50%.  They had to write on two topics. Of the 25 points available for each, 19 points came from content the other six came from grammar and spelling.  

I made them do in and out of class writings, each graded the same way -- content, grammar and spelling.  

We were on the block system, so I only had them until Christmas that year and then got another set of kids in January.  

Before school started back I had to go to a meeting with the principal.  He was "adjusting" the grade of one of the kids who thought she deserved a C, but had gotten a D.  He added back all the points I had taken away for spelling and grammar to give it to her.  

When she and her mom left, I was told to "cut out all that kind of shit. Just teach history.  You're not an English teacher."  

And we wonder why our kids are lazy dumbasses.  

How long ago did you stop teaching? 

If you didn't teach during No Child Left Behind, you have no idea how bad it's gotten.  Essentially, we've now decided that too many minorities are special ed.  The statistics need to even out, so we've created BBSST.  BBSST is purgatory for special ed.  The student in BBSST basically gets most of the accomodations of a special ed student, but they're still on a regular diploma.  The idea is that as long as that student gets those few accomodations, he/she is just as capable as a regular student.  And God forbid if you're a teacher that has lower level classes like I do because I teach 27 BBSST students along with my 21 special ed inclusion students and my 23 ESL students. 

BBSST students make my life a living hell if I decide to do my job correctly.  Every time they fart out a failing grade on a quiz, test, or project or if they forget to do two homework assignments, I have to document all behavior of the student for that grading period and document a conversation with the parent.  I then have to implement tier 2 intervention plans, which include reteaching, alternate assignments, and allowing retakes of a test.  If that student can pass the test the second time, it needs to be counted the same as the first. 

The biggest problem is the requirement to make contact with the parent.  Considering I teach a lot of lower level classes, I have a lot of BBSST phone calls to go along with my behavior phone calls.  That's another glorious idea I've encountered - I'm not allowed to write a kid up until I've given the student a warning AND made contact with a parent.  A girl slammed one of my Scarlet Letter books up against the wall because she didn't want to read it.  Is that a write up?  Not until I call the parent and it happens a second time.  A few other teachers and I calculated how much time I would spend phoning parents if I really did every requirement of my job and it added up to 8 hours a week if I spent merely ten minutes on the phone with each parent. 

I really want to document all the shit that goes on in a public school and write a book about it.  I'm sure it would be looked down upon by many since there is the common misconception that teaching is an easy job, but if you want to know why they country is going to hell, check out the education system.  My kids are dumb as bricks.  A few other incidents that have happened this year:

1.  I was asked what country did we fight in the Civil War.  Another student tried explaining the OBVIOUS answer to that student.  Their explanation?  Russia.  It was the war that didn't have any real battles.

2.  First week of school - to warm up, I did an easy noun activity just for an easy grade.  Half of my students didn't know what a noun was.  A NOUN.  No clue what they were taught in middle school, but it wasn't nouns. 

3.  No one needs English class because texting is the language of the future.  (This one's more typical high school ignorance)

4.  After reading through the entirety of The Scarlet Letter and having notes, in depth discussions, lectures, activites, I had many students say that the scarlet letter was a letter written in red ink.  It was multiple choice.   The right answer was a red "A" that stood for adultery. 

Sorry for venting, but there is a lot wrong with education.  And as for the grade changing bullshit, I've had it happen.  The problem is that you were doing exactly what you were supposed to.  However, there are so many accomodations made for children these days that no one cares about the relevancy of your test.  It's all about making every aspect of education fair to each student based on their particular needs.  Little Jenny couldn't handle grammar because she struggles in English class so that means history teacher Kaos needs to make his test less strenuous. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole