Let me see if I can pull this off correctly <ahem> (imagine some backwoods, 7th grade dropout, Bass Pro Shop loitering, "Got 12?" T-shirt wearing, rotten toothed asshole with a Cullman county accent drawling it out)
"Tuberville already know'ed he wuz far'd so he throwed thuh game. Ya'll didn't really win it 'cuz he wanted ter give Bobby Lowder a big ol' FU before he leff. Aubren didn't lose thuh game; the coach solt dem out."