I'm not one to be overly sentimental on the outside. Internally, I'm a sentimental sap. I just keep it to myself. Tend to struggle with emotional topics. Probably have some personality/mental health issues I don't want to confront. I'd rather ridicule you than tell you that I love you. I once had an employee tell me that the way he knew I cared about him is that I was always giving him a hard time. He said it was just my way. I guess maybe it is.
On Thanksgiving, I want to take just a minute to try to do better. I'm thankful to be alive today. I'm grateful to the doctors who helped see me through some of the most difficult days of my difficult life. I'm so truly blessed to have my daughters in my life, my wonderful girls who tried day after day to find something that would help improve my day. I'm deeply grateful for Amy who made sure my dog was fed, made sure I got my own nourishment, and even on my worst days pretended everything was okay. I'm thankful for my parents, who tried as best as they could to be positive and supportive. i know they were scared as they watched me crumble before their eyes, but they never let it show. All I got from them was love and support. I'm thankful for the friends and family who kept up with my status, checked on me, and offered their love and prayers. It meant more than I could ever express.
I'm grateful for this place and the miscreants who found a home here. The support I received from the misfit members of this board helped keep me going at times when I wondered whether it was worth it. I've never met many of you but consider you like friends. If any of you needed something and I had the means to provide it, I don't think I'd hesitate. (I might, so don't test me.)
Finally, I'm humbled and grateful to God. I heard Him, I felt Him, I was comforted by Him. I do not deserve the grace He has shown me as I stumbled through the life I've led. God has blessed me far more than I have earned. I am nothing without Him. This is not an altar call, but if you, like all thinking beings occasionally do, doubt His existence I am here to tell you God is real. On too many occasions to count, I have felt His hand holding me up, guiding me, leading me back to where I need to be. He carried me through the ordeal of this summer. If you don't know Him, I encourage you to look for Him.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but today is a blessing. I was with my family, I was able to eat Thanksgiving dinner, I'm sitting on my couch with my dog snoring at my side as I watch the end of Die Hard. I feel like the richest man in the world.
K
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