Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Treze

[Snaggletiger]

Last night, I texted my peeps in a special VIP thread, that come next Saturday, barring two massive upsets, the season is over for Auburn, and quite a lot of other clubs.  I know all the jokes about thanking God that it’s coming to an end, but it always amazes me how quickly a season goes by.  We wait all year, and talk about it incessantly, and then it feels like it’s here and gone before you know it.  Anyway, let’s talk foosballz.

Indiana @ theOhio State University: (OSU -13) If you’ve paid attention to sports talk, especially here in the south, no Power 4 team (Is that the phrase) has been more disrespected, and outright dismissed, than Indiana.  I’ve only heard one “expert/analyst” say they even think the Hoosiers will play the Buckeyes close. It’s a given….OSU will rake Indiana by 35, and the Hoosiers will fade into oblivion, where they rightfully belong.  Vegas seems to think it won’t be close either.

I’m not going to try and pretend I know a damn thing about Indiana.  Can’t name one player on the team, and I’ve probably watched 10 total minutes of their games while flipping channels.  And while most consider their schedule soft, it’s still a Big 10 slate of games, and with the exception of a 20-15 win over Michigan, they have flat out bitch slapped just about everybody they’ve faced.  They score 44 points a game, and that 20 spot hurt that average.  Ohio State lost to #1 Oregon, but have been workman-like in winning all their other games.  Traditional thinking says the Buckeyes will tell the Hoosiers to stay in your lane, bro. I think it’s a fight.

Ohio State:  42

Indiana:  35


Alabama @ Oklahoma: (Bama -13.5) The Sooners play stout D, but they can’t score.  Bama, unfortunately, is playing their best ball at the right time of the season. It won’t be close.

Alabama:  45

Oklahoma:  14


Texas A&M @ Auburn: (A&M -2.5) So, a disastrous season winds down for our Tigers.  Inexplicably, Hugh Freeze decided to ride it out til the end with Preetinz Thurne calling signals.  So, it is what it is.  But, let’s look at Thorne’s season in 8 ½ games.

156/245  63.7%  2,111 yards  8.6 yards per pass  18 TD’s and 7 INT’s  154.6 Rating

PT had his epic fail game against Cal, with 4 interceptions.  Outside of that, his stats are not great, but not awful.  I think we can all agree that it’s the intangibles where he falls short, but again, he’ll be under center against the Aggies.

I won’t pick our guys in the Iron Bowl, but this week, I think Thorne takes us there like pleasuring ourselves to an image of Mrs. Buttersworth.  Bing, Bang Boom!  Three reasons I think we win.  First, our #13 in the nation D will give us that chance.  Two, this team continues to play hard and have fun, even at 4-6.  And C, no way A&M is not looking ahead to the biggest game for their program in quite some time.  Here’s to running the ball, and getting it out of PayDay’s hands quickly.

Auburn:  24

Texas A&M:  17

Feel free to opine, talk amongst yourselves, or otherwise, just bugger off. 

[The Six]

5 Indiana @ 2 Ohio St. (-13.5)
I think Ohio State wins this. Do I think they are basically two touchdowns better than Indiana? I do. Ohio State's schedule may not be filled with tons of iron to sharpen against, but I believe it's better than what Indiana has faced. The Hoosiers have mowed down the chaff all year, but even so have hit a snag recently. Stepping this far up against a more experienced team and coaching staff leads me to pick Ohio State.

14 BYU @ 21 Arizona St (-3)
Riding on the razor's edge finally caught up with BYU last week and it still took a myriad of strange, fluky mistakes for Kansas to finally beat them. Arizona State has overachieved this season, but they are also more volatile. Having finally absorbed the loss and knowing what they have to do to play in the tournament, I expect the Cougars will bring their A-game to Tempe. Give me BYU.

19 Army @ 6 Notre Dame (-14.5)
The Army story is a great one. Coach Monkin and staff should be commended for this long streak of wins going back to last year. The match up here is bad on a size variance. Navy was on a roll until they hit the wall against Notre Dame and haven't been the same since. The Irish don't do anything special on offense in the passing game. They can run the ball effectively. On defense, the Irish continue to play with discipline more and more since the NIU snafu. Still, that's a lot of points for two teams that Notre Dame wins, but Army keeps it respectable.

15 Texas A&M (-2.5) @ Auburn
I don't know what Vegas sees here. The Auburn offense is mediocre on a good day and is easy to stuff in a locker. Texas A&M's defense can be a real problem (outside of getting worked over by South Carolina). The Aggies offense can be frustrating at times, but they are far more consistent than the competition. I also don't buy any talk about the road environment mattering at all. Auburn has checked out on this season, Hugh looks miserable, and that team is subpar in talent compared to Texas A&M. Give me Texas A&M to cover and smother, word to the mutha.

7 Alabama (13.5) @ Oklahoma
Speaking of checked out, Oklahoma is in the midst of what I expect will be many staff changes as Venables scrambles to save his job next year. Oklahoma's offense is hard to trust in any scenario. Their defense has sprung leaks down the stretch as well. Alabama's offense knows what it can do best and they should continue to lean into those things. The defense is making strides and all that youth in the back end now has experience. Give me Alabama by a bunch.

9 Ole Miss (-10.5) @ Florida
Billy not only saved his job, he's laid out a great blueprint for what this Gators' era can be. They had a brutal schedule and no one thought they'd be at this point during the season. Ole Miss has taken care of "bad" teams on their schedule and they got a big one against Georgia. The Florida defensive line destroyed what was left of LSU's leaky OL. Anyone who has watched Ole Miss will tell you they have struggled in pass pro all year. The key to beating the Rebels is to force Jaxon Dart off schedule. He may not give you turnovers, but he will miss guys when facing heat. I'm taking Florida here.They are playing the hot hand and I don't think Ole Miss can go on the road and do a thing.

[Snakebite]

Ohio State wins in a close one. I agree. Thinking somewhere in the ballpark of 38-31.

Bama will Bama and will back into a Natty in DeWhore’s first season. Turds - 35, Sooners - 13

I’ve been yearning for magic to occur in Jordan-Hare since before my oldest kid’s birth… We saw playmakers make some difficult plays against inferior competition this past week, but have yet to see it in the clutch moments against equal/better competition. I think we finally see it this game. I’m calling for an Auburn win in a clutch moment late in the 4th, 21-20.

[Snakebite]

Ohio State wins in a close one. I agree. Thinking somewhere in the ballpark of 38-31.

Bama will Bama and will back into a Natty in DeWhore’s first season. Turds - 35, Sooners - 13

I’ve been yearning for magic to occur in Jordan-Hare since before my oldest kid’s birth… We saw playmakers make some difficult plays against inferior competition this past week, but have yet to see it in the clutch moments against equal/better competition. I think we finally see it this game. I’m calling for an Auburn win in a clutch moment late in the 4th, 21-20.

So happy to be incorrect on pick #2. Fuck the Turds!

Even happier that I got to see some magic under the lights of Jordan-Hare. War Damn Eagle, Gentlemen!

[wesfau2]

Goddamnit.

Tee up that football for me one more time, Lucy.

[GH2001]

this thread as a whole is proof of why they play the games.

[The Six]

this thread as a whole is proof of why they play the games.

This thread is proof that none of us know shit about fuck.