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Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Drei

Snaggletiger

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Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Drei
« on: September 10, 2024, 11:49:23 AM »
Still foggy from the hangover after the Shit Sandwich served piping hot this past Saturday.  But alas, life goes on, and the college football season is still just cranking up. I was stoked leading into the season about the Mark-Key matchups that would surely occur every week with the realignments that happened.  But, for the second week in a row, that’s not really the case. Texas at Michigan had all the signs, but turned into a rout from the opening kickoff.

This week does have a handful of intriguing tilts, but nothing to set the ole DVR for.  Let’s go for more prediction suckage

Texas A&M @ Florida: (TA&M -4) A&M opens the season at home against The Fighting Irish, and pretty much get manhandled.  The Aggies follow up, looking like they should against a far inferior opponent, McNeese State, with a 52-7 pasting.  The Irish, meanwhile, get manhandled by Northern Illinois the following week. Can you read anything into any of that?  Probably not.

Florida looks like they may be sending Coach Crewcut out the door soon, after The U waltzed into the Swamp and took that lunch money, and their girlfriends.  Gusty Gaytah tries to right the ship against the mighty Samford Bulldogs, by starting freshman QB, DJ Lagway.  He torches to the tune of 456 yards and 3 TD. Is Lagway the missing ingredient?  I say yes, but more because I love seeing the Aggies lose.  The Fighting Percy Harvey’s at home.

Florida:  31

Texas A&M: 24


Alabama @ Wisconsin: (Bama -16) Not much to break down here.  Bama skruggled for 3+ quarters against a decent Souf Flurrda team, but pulled away in the end.  A lot of the problems stemmed from 5-6 holding penalties on some linemen pressed into action by injuries.  Badger Badger Badger has been underwhelming, to say the least, scoring 28 and 27 against Western Michigan and South Dakota respectively.  The game is in Wisky at Camp Randall, so maybe they keep it close for a while. 

Alabama:  42

Wisconsin:  14


New Mexico @ Auburn: (AU -28) Unless Freeze yanks Thorne, and HB24 or one of the others goes all DJ Lagway, I don’t think we’re going to learn much from this Saturday.  In fact I have a feeling there’s going to be more frustration.  New Mexico is not good.  They’ll be better than Alabama A&M, but not nearly as physical as Cal.  While they absolutely suck defensively, they can light it up pretty good on O.  They hung 39 on #20 Arizona this past weekend.  Granted, they gave up 61, but it was a 27-24 game at half.  I can see a similar scenario on Saturday, with the 50,000 in attendance getting real restless by half.  Hope not.

We accomplish nothing by keeping Thorne at the helm.  But, that’s a topic for another thread. 

Auburn: 38

New Mexico: 24


A couple of other notes.  I’m not a betting man, other than getting my tix every week for the lottery.  But BC going to Mizzou as 16 point dogs is tempting.  BC handles FSU easily, then wipes the floor with a nobody, plus, they’ve got a very experienced QB.  Could be closer than people think, but the folks who set these lines know way more than me.  Also, LSU will be in the House of Cock Saturday, with USCe coming off a throttling of Kentucky.  Could be….


Thoughts? Predictions?  Other games?  Feel free to opine, talk amongst yourselves, or basically bugger off!
« Last Edit: September 10, 2024, 11:51:31 AM by Snaggletiger »
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wesfau2

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Drei
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2024, 12:11:42 PM »
Pssst: Sun Belt Billy is starting Mertz Saturday.

Don't know if he will go the distance or rotate with Lagway...but should be noted.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Drei
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2024, 12:20:48 PM »
Pssst: Sun Belt Billy is starting Mertz Saturday.

Don't know if he will go the distance or rotate with Lagway...but should be noted.

If he starts Mertz, and A&M leaves the Swamp with a W, Coach Crewcut had better hire some sekuritee.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

The Six

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Drei
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2024, 02:56:06 PM »
Arizona @ Kansas State
The desert version Wildcats have an exciting QB and WR (don't look, fellow Auburn fans, it'll only hurt) and they toss the pill around the yard a good big. That'll put pressure on a K-State squad that screwed around and almost found out last week at Tulane. I like the Purple Cats at home here but that line of -7 is a little much. K-State wins but closer.
Winner: K-State

Alabama @ Wisconsin
Don't believe the nonsense last week. Alabama is light years ahead of the cheese Badgers. (Fickell made a mistake.) I expect the mightier than thou Pachyderms to roll up to the Northern Midwest and skull drag that bunch all the way to Canada. The line of -16 does not scare me at all. Get ready for media fawning and the "Jalen Milroe is HIM" campaign to kick into overdrive. (Hint: He is not.)
Winner: Alabama

LSU @ South Carolina
Kelly's Bayou Tiggers better win this one and by a lot more than the (-7) if they want to quiet the Cajun faithful. The problem is the LSU defense barely exists which will probably make the Gamecocks pulsating rush game look awesome. Kind of like the McRib. Seems like a good idea, but if you peel it apart or investigate a little closer - ragrets you will have. Shane Beamer is still schmoe and will find a way to schmoe his team in some incredibly stupid way, I figure. I still don't know if LSU with a somewhat hobbled Garrett Nuttsmeyer can blow them away.
Winner: LSU

Boston College @ Missouri
Missouri isn't so good they can just look by this Eagles squad as they get closer to conference play, but they have a lot more talent. Anybody heard if Luther Burton is cleared to play? I only get so many Googles a day so I didn't want to waste one on that. No matter though. Eli's gonna stand on bidness and take care of things there. Not sure they cover the (-16) but they should still win by more than a score.
Winner: Missouri

Texas A&M @ Florida
I don't care if they looked mid against Notre Shame or that they are on the road in the vaunted Swamp. Texas A&M is better coached and better equipped than Florida. The Gators are a tire fire and the Aggies are happy to whiz some kerosene on the embers. I think the cult lays the wood to the lizards and ole Sunbelt Billy inches one week closer to being a high paid amateur golfer.
Winner: Texas A&M

Oregon @ Oregon State
Oregon doesn't look like they can put together more than two or three positive plays in a row on offense and that defense is swiss cheese. The Beavers are licking the front teeth for this one and the last time they got the too-fast-for-love Ducks in Corvallis, they sent that ass home with a L. Not only do I step out on the limb to have Oregon State cover, I think they win it outright. Oregon smells like fraud.
Winner: Oregon State

Georgia @ Kentucky
This is going to be ugly. Georgia is at (-24) and that may not be enough. Kentucky is fighting Auburn for worst QB situation and worst offense in the league. Dawgs romp and stomp.
Winner: Georgia
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jmar

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Drei
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2024, 06:03:59 PM »
Arizona @ Kansas State
The desert version Wildcats have an exciting QB and WR (don't look, fellow Auburn fans, it'll only hurt) and they toss the pill around the yard a good big. That'll put pressure on a K-State squad that screwed around and almost found out last week at Tulane. I like the Purple Cats at home here but that line of -7 is a little much. K-State wins but closer.
Winner: K-State

Alabama @ Wisconsin
Don't believe the nonsense last week. Alabama is light years ahead of the cheese Badgers. (Fickell made a mistake.) I expect the mightier than thou Pachyderms to roll up to the Northern Midwest and skull drag that bunch all the way to Canada. The line of -16 does not scare me at all. Get ready for media fawning and the "Jalen Milroe is HIM" campaign to kick into overdrive. (Hint: He is not.)
Winner: Alabama

LSU @ South Carolina
Kelly's Bayou Tiggers better win this one and by a lot more than the (-7) if they want to quiet the Cajun faithful. The problem is the LSU defense barely exists which will probably make the Gamecocks pulsating rush game look awesome. Kind of like the McRib. Seems like a good idea, but if you peel it apart or investigate a little closer - ragrets you will have. Shane Beamer is still schmoe and will find a way to schmoe his team in some incredibly stupid way, I figure. I still don't know if LSU with a somewhat hobbled Garrett Nuttsmeyer can blow them away.
Winner: LSU

Boston College @ Missouri
Missouri isn't so good they can just look by this Eagles squad as they get closer to conference play, but they have a lot more talent. Anybody heard if Luther Burton is cleared to play? I only get so many Googles a day so I didn't want to waste one on that. No matter though. Eli's gonna stand on bidness and take care of things there. Not sure they cover the (-16) but they should still win by more than a score.
Winner: Missouri

Texas A&M @ Florida
I don't care if they looked mid against Notre Shame or that they are on the road in the vaunted Swamp. Texas A&M is better coached and better equipped than Florida. The Gators are a tire fire and the Aggies are happy to whiz some kerosene on the embers. I think the cult lays the wood to the lizards and ole Sunbelt Billy inches one week closer to being a high paid amateur golfer.
Winner: Texas A&M

Oregon @ Oregon State
Oregon doesn't look like they can put together more than two or three positive plays in a row on offense and that defense is swiss cheese. The Beavers are licking the front teeth for this one and the last time they got the too-fast-for-love Ducks in Corvallis, they sent that ass home with a L. Not only do I step out on the limb to have Oregon State cover, I think they win it outright. Oregon smells like fraud.
Winner: Oregon State

Georgia @ Kentucky
This is going to be ugly. Georgia is at (-24) and that may not be enough. Kentucky is fighting Auburn for worst QB situation and worst offense in the league. Dawgs romp and stomp.
Winner: Georgia
Yeah this looks right.
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