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Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s

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Snakebite

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #180 on: May 23, 2024, 04:21:13 PM »
Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?" The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan."
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Kaos

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #181 on: May 23, 2024, 04:31:37 PM »
I went to an erectile dysfunction support group last week.

It was kind of a dud.  Nobody came.
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Snakebite,
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Kaos

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #182 on: May 25, 2024, 08:01:21 PM »
My grandparents survived both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 


They were in Alabama so that probably played a part.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #183 on: May 25, 2024, 11:41:05 PM »
Quote from: Kaos on May 25, 2024, 08:01:21 PM
My grandparents survived both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 


They were in Alabama so that probably played a part.
Is this where the affinity for naked Asian chicks started?
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #184 on: May 28, 2024, 11:52:14 AM »
My neighbors, the Getty's, have a a pet parakeet that they love like a child.  Yesterday was the parakeet's birthday.  It took me forever to find a present, but I was finally able to get the Getty's bird a dress.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snakebite

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #185 on: May 28, 2024, 12:57:44 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on May 28, 2024, 11:52:14 AM
My neighbors, the Getty's, have a a pet parakeet that they love like a child.  Yesterday was the parakeet's birthday.  It took me forever to find a present, but I was finally able to get the Getty's bird a dress.

 :kimclap:
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CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #186 on: May 28, 2024, 01:12:42 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on May 28, 2024, 11:52:14 AM
My neighbors, the Getty's, have a a pet parakeet that they love like a child.  Yesterday was the parakeet's birthday.  It took me forever to find a present, but I was finally able to get the Getty's bird a dress.

Man. I’m not sure what to say. That was either brilliant, or absurd.
Either way, well done.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #187 on: May 28, 2024, 02:19:41 PM »
I saw it on Al Gore's interwebz. You can find really cool stuff there.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #188 on: May 29, 2024, 03:42:35 PM »
Not necessarily a dad joke, but a true pun nonetheless.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #189 on: May 29, 2024, 04:33:46 PM »
Quote from: CCTAU on May 29, 2024, 03:42:35 PM
Not necessarily a dad joke, but a true pun nonetheless.


They fired him at the start of the season but he missed the call.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #190 on: May 29, 2024, 04:45:31 PM »
Quote from: War Damn Six on May 29, 2024, 04:33:46 PM

They fired him at the start of the season but he missed the call.

Come on, Angel.  That guy was as out as a deaf kid playing musical chairs.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #191 on: May 29, 2024, 05:44:45 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on May 29, 2024, 04:45:31 PM
Come on, Angel.  That guy was as out as a deaf kid playing musical chairs.

Angel missed calls worse than CCT calling his humorous post about the umpire a “pun”.  Do you even English, bro?
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CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #192 on: May 29, 2024, 06:05:01 PM »
Quote from: War Damn Six on May 29, 2024, 05:44:45 PM
Angel missed calls worse than CCT calling his humorous post about the umpire a “pun”.  Do you even English, bro?

And yet even you got it…
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #193 on: May 29, 2024, 07:50:17 PM »
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #194 on: May 29, 2024, 08:53:52 PM »
Quote from: CCTAU on May 29, 2024, 06:05:01 PM
And yet even you got it…

I said it was humorous. 

I think you need to look up the definition of “pun”.

Did you walk on all your classes also?  Because it appears that your athletic career was better than your academic.
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CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #195 on: May 30, 2024, 01:13:36 AM »
Quote from: War Damn Six on May 29, 2024, 08:53:52 PM
I said it was humorous. 

I think you need to look up the definition of “pun”.

Did you walk on all your classes also?  Because it appears that your athletic career was better than your academic.

I was a math major. We didn’t word much.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #196 on: June 03, 2024, 02:03:24 PM »
More punny stuff.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #197 on: June 03, 2024, 02:28:20 PM »
Quote from: CCTAU on June 03, 2024, 02:03:24 PM
More punny stuff.

Multiple, no doubt. 
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Kaos

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #198 on: June 03, 2024, 03:20:23 PM »
What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

The average man can’t make a vitamin.
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War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #199 on: June 03, 2024, 03:25:44 PM »
Quote from: Kaos on June 03, 2024, 03:20:23 PM
What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

The average man can’t make a vitamin.

So for Steve, there is no difference. 
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