Another week of things that are ass. My motivation to identify ass is not high.
1. Officiating. Everything. Everywhere. All of it at once. Everywhere I looked I saw calls that were bad. Some of them seemed to be purposely timed to damage one particular team. I saw blatantly obvious calls ignored, I saw phantom calls at critical times, I saw video reviews that came to ridiculous conclusions, I saw random application of obscure rules. And that was just the Alabama- Tennessee game... It happened everywhere yesterday.
2. Tennessee quarterback Joe Milton. The guy is a statue. A slab of carved concrete that stands straight up, throws awkwardly and has zero pocket awareness.
3. The Titboss. Arkansas is terrible. Are they Auburn terrible? Hard to say. But when your head coach comes out post-game and moans "I didn't know what to do?" his days are numbered. You can add KJ Jefferson to this as well. He's as bad as his coach and team are, ridiculous "Cam Newton wouldn't even wear THAT" wardrobe aside. Losing to a moribund Mississippi State team? Yich.
4. Hugh Freeze's post-game rewind. It's eerily Gussy. Same four or five things every week. Remember Gus' perpetual "we're gonna get better" postgame? Every week we get Hugh "this is my fault, have to coach better; there's a talent gap; players not in position; both quarterbacks played hard; gameplan wasn't the best." At some point excuses become just that. Excuses. This team is no better today than it was on day one of the season. Not one single player or position group has improved or even made strides toward improvement.
5. USC's defense. Trojan offense battled back from a deficit to take a late lead. Garbage USC defense let Utah march right down the field and even added an idiotic roughing the passer headbutt to keep the late drive alive.
6. Gus being Gus. I saw a clip this week of Jarrett Stidham leading Auburn drives in a win over Alabama. Given the impotent, ineffective, apologetic offense Auburn has put on the field for far too long, I had a momentary "maybe things were better under Gus" moment. Then I watched Gus be Gus against Oklahoma. Get a lead, butt puckers up, ends up falling short. No, he's probably where he needs to be (although it wouldn't surprise me if he became Titboss2 and ended up at Arkansas after Pittman quits or is fired). Even so... Things were never THIS bad at AU under the gum snapper.
7. South Carolina. I really misjudged Beamer.
8. Bryce Harper. I can't stand that arrogant ass. I don't care how good he is, he's ASS.
9. Auburn's offensive gameplan. Is there one? Yes, there are talent gaps. Hugh Freeze himself has said that many, many times. But when you have a quarterback who's regressed (Robby Ashford) and you ask that quarterback to pass, you CANNOT run a play where he has ONE possible receiver. I saw that more than once. And why, at this point, is Peyton Thorne ever on the field for any reason whatsoever?
10. North Carolina. How does an unbeaten team making a case for a playoff spot lose to a one-win team that had been beaten by James Madison? And lose to them at home?
11. The NBA and NHL already playing. Maybe just me, but those seasons last WAY too long.
There's a lot of other ass out there, but my heart just isn't into researching it. A James Franklin-led team choking yet again in a "big game" comes to mind.
What's not ass? It's 7:44 a.m., somewhat cool outside and I haven't been subjected to Hannah Storm's knees. I have seen Nicole Briscoe and that's a MUCH better option. There's something about her look that I really like. EDIT: It's 8:02, Hannah is on and this week she's wearing pants. It's a much better ensemble.
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