These are the things that are ass, week 5
1. LSU's defense. Jayden Daniels has become a much better quarterback than a lot of people realize. LSU has some of the best receivers in the game. A blizzard of points won't help them, though, if they can't stop anybody. Ole Miss is a mediocre offensive team and they rang up pinball numbers on LSU. Terrible. Raw ass.
2. RGIII. I know he think's he's being fresh and fun, but he needs to rein some of that stuff in. His commentary has become a bad Saturday Night Live sketch. "They done raised that boy up, like he Jesus and they fiddin to nail him up on a cross!" or "He run through there and he's sayin' put on a party dress and stick a corn cob up the bunghole!" or "he knocked that one back and he's saying bippity, boppity, booty boo. (One of those is, amazingly, real). It's too much. I will give him credit that he says what he thinks. Replay booth missed a call and gave LSU a TD when it shouldn't and he was blunt in his assessment. Just tone down some of the outrageous and unnecessary commentary.
3. Beth Mooooing. I don't even know if she called a game, but she's ass.
4. Notre Dame. I know Duke is a decent team. Fact is, though, ND is what they always are. Overrated, playing a shit schedule, and getting far much more credit than they deserve.
5. USC's defense. Thanks, you bunch of surfer twits for extending the hero Colorado story.
6. Utah is half ass. If they weren't down to their 9th-string quarterback, maybe they would be full ass.
7. Florida. Florida is ass again. Either Kentucky is really good or Florida is still ass, despite beating the piss out of Tennessee. Does that mean Tennessee is also ass? Probably. Fact is, there's a lot of ass. Everywhere. The only consistently non-ass teams I've seen are Oregon (prone to turn ass up at any moment) and Michigan (also prone to put that ass out there).
Editor's Note: I'm sure some expected commentary explaining why Georgia is ass. Yeah, Georgia is ass. The entire SEC has an assy quality at the moment.. But their general assiness wasn't the issue Saturday. It wasn't the reason AU was competitive. Don't know what it means, but AU was at least competitive and it wasn't because UGA was ass. That effort would probably have beaten A&M, honestly. I didn't like the decision to go for it instead of taking a lead into the half (just because of what it would have meant perception and motivation-wise) but I can't completely fault it. I also didn't like the butthole puckering on defense as the game got later and later. It's a common trend, though. Start playing not to give up the big play, change the pressure and ..... give up the fucking big play. Anyway.
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