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Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Funf

Snaggletiger

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Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Funf
« on: September 28, 2023, 12:33:36 PM »
Last week was the first solid week of games, with a Yuge number of top 25 match ups.  This week should be equally watchable.  There should be some most ripping victories when teams triumph by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big H.  Let’s take a look.

USC @ Colorado: My hope is that this is the STFU game.  Couldn’t give any less fricks about either of these teams, but it’s time for the daily….no, hourly Prime vs. all the Haters updates to die down.  They won’t though.  USC should win.  They’re the better club.  But the Trojan D is pit-e-full, and I have a feeling we’ll be getting one of these:

USC:  45

Colorado: 42


Florida vs. Kentucky: Kentucky is undefeated, but has skruggled in getting there.  We wrote Gusty Gaytah off after the Utah debacle, then they rose from the grave against a heavily favored Tennessee.  Then, speaking of skruggling, got by Charlotte 22-7.  Gimme’ the Cats at home.

Kentucky:  24

Florida:  12


Texas A&M @ Arkansas: Similar scenario to Florida for both these teams.  The Canes blew past A&M (See what I did there?) but they looked the part against our guys.  Arky gets slapped at home by a bunch of white and Samoan Mormons, then looks scary good on offense against LSU.  These two normally produce some classic SEC games.  I’ll take the Hogs in Fayettenam.

Arkansas:  32

Texas A&M:  28


Kansas @ Texas:  The spread is 16.5.  Kansas is 4-0.  I think Rock Chalk covers.


LSU @ Ole Miss:  I know this may surprise most of you, but I think I’ve been wrong every time I’ve picked this game.  These two got some Jeckyll and Hyde shit going on all the time. I would normally go with the Rebel Black Bear Land Shark Hobby Lobby’s since it’s in Oxford.  But, I’m done with Lane Kiffin coaching in any “big game”.

LSU:  35

Ole Miss:  24


South Carolina @ Tennessee:  Cheetos fans are saying this is a revenge game, for the anal raping they endured last season in Columbia. The Cocks went in dry.  There’s nothing special about either of these clubs this year.  I’ll go with the putrid orange just for shits and giggles.

Tennessee:  27

USCe:  24


Alabama @ Mississippi State:  Alabama will get in the 20’s.  MSU won’t score much.

Alabama:  27

MSU:  13


Fuck Georgia @ Auburn:  I’m not going to try and sugar coat it, or find some rationalization (Extreme stretch) to make a lame argument that we have a chance in this one.  My take is simple.  FUGA is still a work in progress on offense.  Our D is really good. If our offense had done ANYTHING this past Saturday, our defense would have kept us in it down to the wire.  The same applies here, with the exception that I think Fuck Georgia is even better on D than A&M. I’m hoping U Free at least somewhat grabs the reins, and gives our offense something to work with.  If he does, we keep it around the line of 15, or thereabouts.  If they come out with the same shit, which I’m afraid they will….

Fuck Georgia:  40

Auburn:  14


Thoughts?  Feel free to opine, or generally talk amongst yourselves.  But, keep it down.

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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Funf
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2023, 01:13:21 PM »
I.
USC:  41
Colorado: 30

Offense will be fun to watch as each team marches down the field against what could be confused with air.  USC has the more talented players on defense.

II.
Kentucky:  17
Florida:  21

I think the hand clappas have a pretty decent defense and will come out victorious against the horse folk.  Not a lot of confidence in my pick.

III.
Arkansas:  21
Texas A&M:  28

A&M winning this gives me hope about our standing in the league. 

IV.
Kansas: 14
Texas: 34

Don't know anything about either team.

V.
LSU:  34
Ole Miss:  21

The train continues to derail.

VI.
Tennessee:  27
USCe:  24

I like your pick, so will leave as is on this one.

VII.
Alabama:  34
MSU:  10

Bama finds rhythm and builds confidence.  Too much talent for the cowbells to overcome.

VIII.
Fuck Georgia:  28
Auburn:  17

Eventually, we look somewhat competent on offense.  I am picking this week that we see the most improvement.  I don't think it equals a win, but it gives us a glimmer of hope for after the Bye.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2023, 01:16:44 PM by Snakebite »
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Funf
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2023, 02:16:48 PM »
Solid picks.  With the exception of a couple, like AU/FUGA, I can see every one of these games as a pick em'. 
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Funf
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2023, 02:47:23 PM »
For those with an affinity for games of chance.

The line on Kansas at Texas is 16.5.  Both teams are 4-0. 

Kansas is averaging 38 ppg and giving up 23.  Their biggest wins are Illinois and BYU, who beat Arkansas.

Texas averages 35 a game, while allowing 12.5.  Top 2 wins are obviously Bama, and maybe Baylor.  The Bears are 1-3 and had 42 hung on them by Tee Jay Finley.

Kansas has a stud at QB in Jalon Daniels.  I think 16.5 is a huge number for this one, but then again, it will probably wind up like last year, when the Horns romped by about 40.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Funf
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2023, 03:27:13 PM »
Hollywood    41
Hollywood lite  38

Why are our guards so big?   22
Laptop dealers           13

Cold beer and golfs   38
Milk and dogs         21

Take your Ar and screw off   20
Everything's bigger           34

Nutria appetizer    36
Juicing again         31

Morgan Wallen       24
Hootie                   21

Millhouse Gang      38
Milled over             6

FUCK GEORGIA      31
FUCK GEORGIA      13
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

CCTAU

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Re: Pre-Dick-Shuns Week Funf
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2023, 04:22:54 PM »
FUCK GEORGIA      31
FUCK GEORGIA      13

I think you overestimated the losing score….
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4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.