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Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long

Snaggletiger

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Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« on: October 05, 2023, 05:06:25 PM »
Snagette calls me earlier, all in a tizzy.  She let the pups out to handle their business, and spots a snake in a planter close to the back door steps.  Panic ensues. She hollers for the 6'2" 210 pound pro rassler to come down and get this snake.  He comes down, and it turns out there's two of them. In typical, "what the hell is wrong with this generation" fashion, instead of removing the snakes, he takes a picture.  By now, they're off somewhere, buried in the pine straw, behind bushes and what not.

Snags Removal Service is scheduled to arrive about 5:30 this afternoon.

But our conversation, went as follows:

Snagette: Frantically tells the story of coming face to face with, what went from a foot, to six feet, then a 12 foot venemous python.  Then, she says, "It made me say all sorts of words"

Snags:  What kind?

Snagette: I said shit, shit shit.

Snags: No, what KIND?

Snagette: Well, I said shit, and holy damn, and....

Snags:  No, what kind of SNAKE???

Snagette: Oh!  How would I know?

Snags: Just get Brock to send me the pictures.

Honestly, I do worry this time of year about Copperheads, but these were clearly White Oaks, or Rat Snakes, as some people call them.  But to Snagette, these were the things horror movies are based on.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2023, 06:59:35 PM »
Stop being racist against my people.
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Buzz Killington,
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

GH2001

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2023, 08:00:55 PM »
I tell folks that all the time that If you see it around your house and it’s pretty big and dark and scary and scampers off, it’s mostly likely a rat snake. Not always but usually. They are good to have around. Venomous snakes in this part of the country are pretty identifiable and tend to stand their ground this time of year. They also don’t tend to be around the house and very big at the same time. You’ll see some monster timber or eastern diamondback rattlers but not usually that close to humans in residential areas. Copperheads are highly distinct, smaller and don’t move much which is why they are frequent biters.
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Kaos

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2023, 09:03:05 PM »
All snakes must die.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2023, 09:09:50 PM »
My wife has such a fear of them, that she shields her eyes anytime they come on the TV.

Many times in my life, I’ve killed or caught them. My childhood home was right next to the Saugahatchee, and our yard & basement area were littered with water moccasins. Used a grinder on a flat head shovel to sharpen and got to work beheading those bastards.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2023, 09:12:37 PM by Snakebite »
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2023, 09:21:09 PM »
Snakes don’t bother me.  I’m not stupid about them.  I give them respect, but if I know it’s not venemous, I’ll pick it up.

Now, you let a wasp buzz the tower one time, and every hair on my body will stand straight up.  Hate those bastards.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2023, 10:05:49 AM »
All snakes must die.

Enjoy life with disease ridden rats at your own peril.
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GH2001

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2023, 10:07:15 AM »
Now, you let a wasp buzz the tower one time, and every hair on my body will stand straight up.  Hate those bastards.

That right there! ^^ especially those red hot glowing ones. F. Them.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2023, 11:05:26 AM »
Snakes don’t bother me.  I’m not stupid about them.  I give them respect, but if I know it’s not venemous, I’ll pick it up.

Now, you let a wasp buzz the tower one time, and every hair on my body will stand straight up.  Hate those bastards.
Remind me the next time I see you to show you my pet south Alabama white snake.
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GH2001

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2023, 12:00:54 PM »
Remind me the next time I see you to show you my pet south Alabama white snake.

Those are the small pygmy varieties right?
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2023, 12:55:44 PM »
Those are the small pygmy varieties right?
It packs a lot of punch, regardless, buddy rip.
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War Damn Six

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Re: Poisonous Vipers - 6 Feet Long
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2023, 03:08:17 PM »
Those are the small pygmy varieties right?

Chortle.
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