No a smorgasbord of top shelf games this weekend. THE Ohio State University finally plays somebody with a trip to Pedo Bear U, the World’s Largest Cocktail Party takes place in Jacksonville, Lane’s Landsharks visit the Bonfire Boys, and the Hawgs make a visit to The Planez. So yeah, not a titty-lating slate, but it’s college foosballz just the same.
tOSU @ Penn State: Vegas currently has the Buckeyes as a 14 point favorite on the road. Sandusky U looked like world beaters against us, very pedestrian in the rest of their wins, then got boat-raced by Meat Chicken. I have no idea how the term boat-raced got started, but I’ve heard it a lot lately, especially in reference to Penn State. Motorboating little boys, I get. But boat-raced? Whatever it means, I look for tOSU to crank the Quad Yamaha 400’s, and drag PSU around whatever lake is closest to Happy Valley.
tOSU: 48
PSU: 24
Florida @ FUGA: Not technically “@” since it’s at a neutral site. For the record, I hate these neutral site games. I have no dog in this fight(Literally), but how much better of an atmosphere would it be playing this game on each campus? And why do they insist on taking millions in revenue and letting Jacksonville, Florida be the beneficiary? But I digress. Fuck Georgia.
FUGA: 35
Florida: 17
Ole Miss @ Texas A&M: I guess I’m an SEC guy for the most part. Sort of. More along the lines of being able to say our conference can beat the shit out of your conference. I have SEC teams that I never want to see win a game, like A&M as long as Jimbo is there…..FUGA because, Fuck Georgia etc. Bama is just Bama under Lord Saybinz. You pull against them every game, but hope against hope that they somehow drop two whole games in a season. Where am I going with this? I have no clue. Just that, I kind of wanted to see Lane take the Black Bears much farther than the miserable ass whipping they toted home from Baton Rude. It’s hard to pull against Joey. He makes the game fun. But, tote one, they did. Now, they head over to College Station to take on A&M and the Greasy Car Salesman, Jimbo. The Faggies are riding a modest 3 game losing streak. Ole Miss is a 3.5 point favorite. I think they bounce back and cover.
Ole Miss: 31
TA&M: 20
Arkansas @ Auburn: Hatpin’s Horde is back in action. Oh boy, can’t wait. Only 6 things scare me about this game, but I’ll name one. The Hawgs run the ball, and we have gotten our collective shit pushed in on the ground lately. Despite pulling the same, dumbfuck pee wee garbage against Ole Miss, that he’s pulled every game so far this season, Robbie Assfurd did some decent things, and a totally re-tooled O-line, kind of, sort of, blocked better. The recent history is on our side. Auburn has won the last 6 in a row by an average score of 43-14. It’s not out of the realm of possibility for us to have more points than they do. That’s my whole analysis. Just because…
Auburn: 28
Arkansas: 24
What say you?