College Football Week Sieben

[Snaggletiger]

Yes, we suck!  But, it’s still college football, and still my favorite speck-tater sport. I hit every game last week, including the exact scores of each one. (Pay no attention to the “Last edit” notification.  Clearly, I was hacked) Anyway, what you should pay attention to, are my picks.

Kansas @ Oklahoma:  Why?  Yes, Rock Chalk has been a great underdog story.  They lost a barn burner to TCU last week while Game Day was in town.  Their star QB went out, I believe with an injury.  Don’t know for sure, I was going back and forth.  But this is not about Kansas.  It’s about the Sooners getting drug, dragged, boat raced, throttled, and otherwise embarrassed lately, the likes of which I’ve never seen in my lifetime.  And I’m old.  I like Kansas to continue adding to the Sooners downward spiral.

Kansas:  35

Oklahoma: 24

#10 Penn State @ #5 Michigan: Classic match up of top 10 teams.  We made the Nittany Lions look like a juggernaut, but they’ve looked incredibly pedestrian since.  Michigan has snoozed it’s way to an undefeated record.  I only picked this game because it’s the second highest rated contest this week.  I really don’t give a flippity fuck. Because they’re at home.

Michigan:  28

Penn State:  21

Bama @ Tennessee: Well now.  This should be interesting.  The biggest question is obviously whether or not Brass Yung will play, or if so, how effective can he be?  Tennessee’s Prostitute is a really neato keen QB. Not much of a runner, but the guy can definitely sling it.  Josh High-Pull’s offense is the fastest in the nation.  One of the few left that give you no time to breathe before they’re snapping it again.  Ultimately, it comes down to the QB’s.  If Young plays, I give Bama and it’s 15 game winning streak against the Vols the edge.  If he doesn’t, or is still banged up, I’m going with the Fighting Cheetos.  The crunchy kind, not those cheesy poofs.

Tennessee:  31

Bama:  24

Auburn @ Ole Miss:  Auburn normally handles it’s business against the Racist Rebels, including last year.  However, there’s nothing to break down here, other than unless Robbie Assfurd suddenly becomes accurate and not scared as a rabbit first sign of pressure….and unless Bryman Hatpin stops doing stupid shit, this will be the Black Bears’ day.

Ole Miss:  38

Auburn:  17

Feel free to opine, or talk amongst yourselves. 

[Kaos]

How AU gonna score 17?

[Snaggletiger]

How AU gonna score 17?

Probably all in the first half.

[AUTailgatingRules]

Probably all in the first half.

This is rundown on our points scored in teh 2nd 1/2 oof our last 10 Power 5 conference games

0
0
6
3
3
0
3
0
7

We are an offensive juggernaut

[GH2001]

And you guys don’t think lane is even worth a look?

[Hogwally]

OK, I know I'm jumping ahead, but any of you boys going to be in Auburn when me and my piggies come to town?  I found a room in a fine hotel in town and me and the wife will be there Fri and Sat night.  Been to several games in Aub, this is my first time actually staying there.  Only had to pay about $450 a night for a room at the Quality Inn.  I mean, it has Quality right in the name, it has to be good right?  Right? 

[Buzz Killington]

OK, I know I'm jumping ahead, but any of you boys going to be in Auburn when me and my piggies come to town?  I found a room in a fine hotel in town and me and the wife will be there Fri and Sat night.  Been to several games in Aub, this is my first time actually staying there.  Only had to pay about $450 a night for a room at the Quality Inn.  I mean, it has Quality right in the name, it has to be good right?  Right?

They're not gonna leave a light on for ya, but you can't skimp on quality.

[The Six]

Oklahoma 26
Kansas 16
Oklahoma still has better talent than Kansas, especially if Rock Chalk's starting QB is out for the game. I'm not buying the backup can make up the difference. Venables didn't forget how to coach. He's just got "alignment issues" at the moment.

Michigan 30
Penn State 16
Michigan's pass rush will fluster the Penn State QB into a mistake. Penn State's RBs are good but so is Michigan's rush attack. Close early, Wolverines pull away late...just like Bo Nix when he finds out she pregnant.

Alabama 27
Tennessee 24
I'm still going to have to see it to believe it with Tennessee. I don't care if Bryce Young's shoulder IS held together with Toradol and Deer Antler Juice, the dude can ball and Bama has found a run game. No doubt the Shifty Hooker presents a challenge to the Tahd D but those are some ferocious dudes. I think it's back and forth but I go with Alabama's ability to grind the clock and the ball in Rocky Top.

Ole Miss 19
Auburn 17
Auburn is going to have a lead in this game, and they won't be able to hold it. Auburn's D can handle the Lane Run a Train offense but will eventually tire out after Robby Ashford's super athletic 12-41, 122 yards, 2 INT, 36 rush yards, and 3 Fumbles performance leaves them on the field for too long. Ole Miss isn't as good as their record indicates.

[dallaswareagle]

Ole Miss isn't as good as their record indicates.

Neither is ours.

[GH2001]

OK, I know I'm jumping ahead, but any of you boys going to be in Auburn when me and my piggies come to town?  I found a room in a fine hotel in town and me and the wife will be there Fri and Sat night.  Been to several games in Aub, this is my first time actually staying there.  Only had to pay about $450 a night for a room at the Quality Inn.  I mean, it has Quality right in the name, it has to be good right?  Right?

Should be there. Across from the new FOF on wire. Stop by. Remember, food and beer is always good. Even if the football is bad.

[Snaggletiger]

Observations, Week Sieben.

I hope and pray that we get a legit QB for next season through the port-hole.  Rotty Assfurd may turn out to be great.  He did some nice things after playing like his usual road kill self Saturday.  But, I don't want to wait for his "career" to develop.  He still can't do the most mundane of tasks, like hold on to the ball, or not overthrow a screen pass by 6 feet. 

Then, after he fricks everything up on a series, he sulks over to the sidelines, like he needs a hug.  Then sits there, pouting like a 5 year old who didn't get ice cream. Hey Robbie, pick up the phone.  You've played like a monkey humping a football, we're going to give Tee Jay a series.  WHAM!!! Slams down the phone, again like an immature little brat.

Tank and Quez looked great Saturday.  And think about the patch work line they're running behind.  We knew our line was a huge question mark coming into the season, but the reality is, there's only one guy that's played the same position all 7 games.  Killey-Anne Zierererirer.  The rest are back ups, or out of position.

On the other side, what in the flippity fuck has happened to our rush defense. I'm well aware that Ole Miss was at the top of the conference in rushing. But 3 guys over 100 yards???  Come on, man!  It wasn't just Saturday.  FUGA big boy'd us all day long. 

Derick Hall is going to make bank at the next level. 

We're 3-4.  That's all I got.


     

[wesfau2]

The only real takeaway worth a damn is that this team hasn't given up.

Yet.

[Snaggletiger]

The only real takeaway worth a damn is that this team hasn't given up.

Yet.

There's plenty of time for that.