Voyages on Enterprise

[Kaos]

Ok Star Trek nerds.  Get out.  This isn't about that.  It's about Enterprise Rental cars.  Used to be reliable.  Now is an absolute joke.  I was going to share one of those "it only happens to Kaos" stories, but I've learned over the past few days that I'm not alone in this.  So as I go, so go we all!

SUNDAY
Had a trip to North Carolina, didn't want to put 1200 miles on my truck, so I reserved a medium SUV at Enterprise in Mobile since I was going to be over there on Sunday.  Pickup time was after 3.  Planned to leave Sunday for a conference that ran Monday-Wednesday and had a kickoff dinner Monday night at 6. 

I go to get the car.  "Sorry. We don't have anything. You can check back tomorrow."
No, I live across the bay, I need to pick it up now.  Tomorrow's no good. 
"I don't have anything for you. I can transfer your reservation to another location.  You can pick it up there tomorrow morning at 8." 

Fine.  I leave at 8, I can still make the 6 pm dinner.  Unhappy, but no choice.

MONDAY
8 AM.  "Sorry, we are out of cars.  Try back about 10."

Look.  I had a reservation.  I need a car. Not at 10.  I needed it last night.

"Sir, a reservation doesn't mean you get a car, only that you can get one if we have one."

So essentially no different than just walking in and taking my chances? 

"I don't know what to do.  I can't make a car."

Call some other locations. Find me a car.

"We don't work that way. You can check back and...."

NO, DAMMIT.  Call. Another. Location.  Do it now.  Find me a car.

*sigh, eyeroll, but she calls.*

Find a car 25 miles away.  It's not an SUV.  It's a turtle-sized Nissan Altima that hasn't been cleaned out from the last driver.

What the fuck ever.  I go get it. 

I get 60-70 miles up the road and hazard warnings start going off.  Alarm sounds.  Lighted dashboard VEHICLE HAZARD warnings. 

I pull off the road and dial the location from which I picked up the car.  45 full minutes I'm on hold.  So I take my other phone and call Enterprise national number.  After a hold of approximately 20 minutes, I have to answer a series of question prompts and then someone from Banglanistan answers.  I answer the same 20 questions, plus a few others.  His primary concern is "do you feel safe to drive the car?" 

Finally after another round of questions he says they will dispatch a tow truck "within three hours" to return me to the rental location, but he is "obligated to inform me that there are no available vehicles within 200 miles" so I may have a slight delay in getting a second car. 

FUCK THAT.  I tell him I feel really great to drive and I'm just going to drive this piece of shit right back to where I got it and use my own vehicle.  I hang up on him as he asks again if I "feel safe..." 

Keep in mind the rental location was still playing hold music this entire time.  I turn around and figure I'll just let it stay on hold to see how long it takes the motherfuckers to finally answer a call. 

At the one hour and forty-seven minute mark, they finally pick up with a confused and sleepy "hello?" 

I explain that I'm bringing their piece of shit back because of the malfunction warnings.  Rather than leaving Sunday and being there in time to get acclimated before an all-day presentation on Tuesday, I'm creeping up on 11 am Monday, am guaranteed to miss the Monday dinner, and am no closer to leaving than I was a month ago. 

The guy at the enterprise location says "you know, those Nissans throw errors all the time. You could probably just drive it on and see what happens... Does that work?" 

At this point, I'm redlining.  So I tell him that's fine with me.  "But if it dies?  I'm going to push it in a ditch and leave the keys in it.  Good luck finding it." 

It didn't die.  The warnings kept going off, but I drove it up and back.  Missed the dinner.  Hit Atlanta at rush hour and didn't get up there until midnight. Was a potato during the first half of a critical presentation. 

Enterprise.  They'll fuck you up. 

Last time I rent from them. 

[GH2001]

Small world.

Had mine scheduled to pickup today at 2-3 pm. Get there at 245 pm. They had none. Girl at counter said she was already 8 cars behind. Whatever that means. Said I could come back tomorrow about 10 am and I should be able to get one. But….my biggest beef here is why let me rent it online and confirm it if you either don’t have the inventory or don’t know if you have the inventory? That’s how Home Depot works. That’s how Amazon works. I can’t order it and get a delivery date if they don’t have it. It’ll back order. Or say out of stock. Something. Not rental car companies.

[Kaos]

Small world.

Had mine scheduled to pickup today at 2-3 pm. Get there at 245 pm. They had none. Girl at counter said she was already 8 cars behind. Whatever that means. Said I could come back tomorrow about 10 am and I should be able to get one. But….my biggest beef here is why let me rent it online and confirm it if you either don’t have the inventory or don’t know if you have the inventory? That’s how Home Depot works. That’s how Amazon works. I can’t order it and get a delivery date if they don’t have it. It’ll back order. Or say out of stock. Something. Not rental car companies.

Dude.... You just don't understand. 

A reservation don't mean you GET a car you dumbass.  You just CAN get a car if they have one.  Any car.  Not the one you 'reserved'.  Just whatever they have when you show up.  And if somebody walks up, they can go ahead and have whatever's there.  Want an SUV?  Here's an Altima.  Want a luxury car?  How about this Civic? Oh, you got five kids you're taking with you?  Better get one of them airplane tickets. 

I don't know if the other agencies are this shitty, but I'm gonna find out.  I'm done with enterprise.

[CCTAU]

[GH2001]

I dont know about K but that’s almost the exact conversation I had yesterday at enterprise. I felt like I was in a time warp. I manage the software that runs the warehouse for a major company. This is why I can’t fathom how this happens. This is my space - tracking inventory, taking in orders and all that jazz.

If we don’t have something in stock, my software back orders it and let’s them know they’ll get a date later when it’s back in stock. Just like Amazon does.  It doesn’t tell the customer placing the order “yep we got it. You good. You’ll get it in 3 days fam!” When that’s not true. I always liked enterprise because I thought they were the premier one in the bunch. Not anymore.


Last month I was in Nashville on a work trip. I used hertz at the airport. It was flawless. I May use them again Next go round.