This comes directly from the Kaos Book of Whoa. A lady comes to us after being hit and knocked off the road by a guy driving an Enterprise Rent A Car. We just had an employee leave us, so we’re short-handed. The driver of the other car never responded to us, so I’m trying to track down a claim with Enterprise. I start with the local office.
Sir, you’ll have to call this number right here. Gives me the number
Thank you, dials number.
Theenk you forda cohlling, Eentedaprise. Keen I heps you?
I explain that I’m trying to track down a claim for this accident.
Oh you mest cohl dee cleems depadament. Let me geeve you the numada.
It takes 3 times repeating to understand the correct number. Dials number.
( in Spanish accent) Emergency road service. Where are you broken down?
Holy shit. I’m not broken down. I’m an attorney trying to track down a claim on a wreck.
This is the emergency road side service. You’ll have to call this number.
3 more times to understand the correct number. I dial it.
Damage department, can I help you?
I have no idea what this accent was. Suffice it to say, everything had to be repeated. I explain again the reason for my call.
Oh no, you will have to call this number. They can help you.
Good morning. Law enforcement division.
Law enforcement? WTF? Yes, I’m an attorney for….
Attorney? You’re not in law enforcement?
No, I’m just trying to track down a claim for a wreck involving an Enterprise Rent A Car. I’ve explained my situation 3 or 4 times already and they sent me to you.
Let me give you this number to report a claim.
I call the number and the lady says I’ll have to report the claim via this email address….
No shit, I was given 6 different numbers and an email address to simply report, or try to find a claim. The local office couldn’t handle that task. Neither could the next person, or the next person, or the next person or the next….And it wasn’t until the last person, who gave me the email, that I talked to somebody who didn’t have a foreign, virtually unintelligible accent. The email has been sent. I can’t wait to see the response, or lack thereof.
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