I cain't quit yew, Gus...

[Kaos]

Since Auburn made the decision to part ways with Gus Malzahn after eight years, the media in this state (and a -dumbass- portion of our own fanbase) has rushed to deify the guy as the second coming of Saint Rockne the Exalted Shepherd of  all that is Right and Good with the Hallowed Game of Football.  

I've seen fawning article after fawning article on Gus the Great and his amazing journey to UCF, his brilliance as an offensive playcaller, his prowess as a program builder and his uncanny ability to connect with players and fans.  

It's gotten tiresome.  He's gone.  Let him be gone.  But no.  Today, our "friends" at al.communist spun the fantastical tale of Kristi the Beloved Mother of Football and her enduring impact on the players and the game.  She was the key to recruiting. She was the Much Beloved Mother figure to all Auburn players past and present. She controlled their private lives.  She was the Alpha and Omega of what the word Family means and she will bring that Abiding Love to UCf.  They left out the batshit crazy part.  

Fuck al.communist.  I won't link their pathetic shit because I hope they go out of business.  But here's a segment this bullshit. 

While Gus worries about schemes and strategies, Kristi worries about the team’s hearts.

“To me, the football takes care of itself,” Kristi said. “But I feel like our calling and our job is really about young men. It’s really, the X’s and O’s, yes, I know it’s important. Yes, I know we need to win. But more than that, I know that when I’m standing for accountability, it’s going to be how did I use my time and my influence with those kids. That’s what matters to me.”


Gus probably isn't a bad guy (but I think he is). And he may not be a bad coach (but I think he is). But he had taken Auburn as far as he possibly could. Every decision he made over the last three years of his tenure reinforced that. Auburn was at a crossroads. Either trudge on with a situation that was never going to be any different and just accept that, or decide that it could do better and take a chance. I give the administration credit for being willing to take that risk. 

While our wonderful media sings hosannas to Gus, they've simultaneously been ripping the new coach to shreds.  The bullshit article from our own beatwriter on al.communist blaming Harsin for the state of recruiting was just one salvo.  That steaming pile of trash should have been aimed squarely at Gus and his abysmal failures in manning the OL and developing quarterbacks. Instead it fired broadsides at Harsin.  

I'm with a few others here.  Fuck Gus.  Not that any of us wouldn't have done it, maybe, but he pulled out a barbed wire wrapped glass and steel dildo and jammed it firmly up Auburn's ass ini 2017.  After securing that set-for-life deal he proceeded to bumble around like a junior high assistant coach. I got the sense that he just didn't care.  He was Gus the Good and untouchable.  The man has mental problems.  Those now belong to UCF.  I won't be cheering him on or hoping for his extended success. Won't hurt my feelings at all if he goes down in flames and drags every Chad, Chet, Chip and Rhett down with him.  

And fuck al.communist for spreading this pandering propaganda. 

[wesfau2]

You sound surprised.

Enemy media props up underachieving rival coach?  That tracks.

[WiregrassTiger]

If all of this you all seem to think about Gus is true and he isn’t highly regarded, then how does one get promoted to UCF?

No offense but sometimes people on here say things without the proper vetting.

[Kaos]

You sound surprised.

Enemy media props up underachieving rival coach?  That tracks.

Zero surprise.  Just fatigue.  

Sick of their shit.  

[Snaggletiger]

The dot  I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!!  I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others.  I like male genatalia in and around my mouth., and generally all media in this State, have been Bama bobo honkers since the beginning of time. There was one short period, pre and early Saybinz, when you could pull up Auburn dot  I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!!  I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others.  I like male genatalia in and around my mouth. pieces that were factual, non-opinion articles.  They never mentioned Bama or Lord Saybinz and focused on what was going on at practice, what was happening with the facilities etc. It was a simpler, happier, whimsical time.  Now, it's just a bunch of assholes churning out garbage.

For someone like myself, who is way too invested in the program, I could rattle off a laundry list of reasons why CGM had no business being the head honcho for so long.  But even the casual observer should have been able to see that we were becoming the very definition of insanity.  You know, doing the same thing, the same way over and over and expecting a different result. Gus was a 4-6 loss coach for 7 consecutive years. And yes, you should expect and demand more for your $7 million a year. Or maybe you should be smarter than to give a 4-6 loss a year coach $7 million.  But then, this is Auburn.  That may be asking a little too much.     

[jmar]

While working a rare afternoon I switched over to Finebaum so as to avoid news talk. John Talty who is the al.com "chief" of sports was the guest and of course the first point they established was that Gus had beaten Saban more than any of the other head coaches. Gus had also played for a national championship and had won an SEC title...blah, blah, blah. 
Finebaum said that Gus seemed reinvigorated by his new opportunity. That's nice!

I'm fine with Gus accepting a job with a pay cut to strike while the irons are hot.
But I don't care if Gus is a nice guy or that his former players adore him.
He didn't perform to our standards and to accept mediocrity is to admit we don't care about winning championships. What more is there to say? He was substandard!

8 wins isn't 10. It's actually two less than ten. It's very perplexing.

[Kaos]

The dot  I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!!  I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others.  I like male genatalia in and around my mouth., and generally all media in this State, have been Bama bobo honkers since the beginning of time. There was one short period, pre and early Saybinz, when you could pull up Auburn dot  I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!!  I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others.  I like male genatalia in and around my mouth. pieces that were factual, non-opinion articles.  They never mentioned Bama or Lord Saybinz and focused on what was going on at practice, what was happening with the facilities etc. It was a simpler, happier, whimsical time.  Now, it's just a bunch of assholes churning out garbage.

For someone like myself, who is way too invested in the program, I could rattle off a laundry list of reasons why CGM had no business being the head honcho for so long.  But even the casual observer should have been able to see that we were becoming the very definition of insanity.  You know, doing the same thing, the same way over and over and expecting a different result. Gus was a 4-6 loss coach for 7 consecutive years. And yes, you should expect and demand more for your $7 million a year. Or maybe you should be smarter than to give a 4-6 loss a year coach $7 million.  But then, this is Auburn.  That may be asking a little too much.   

But....but.....

KRISTI!!!  She is the Most High Mother of Mothers, the Soother of Young Men’s Souls, the Cleanser of Social Media, the Queen of Platonic Hugs, the Goddess of Bubbly Cheer!!  

How will we ever get along without her? I wail in despair, secretly jealous of the love and adoration she will shower on south Florida.  

As a former porn purveyor who once contributed here ominously warned, we will REGRET letting these wonderful people go.  

Ya know, it wasn’t that long ago that the good folks in state media focused on the (enormous) batshit crazy side of her persona.  Now they have moved on to mocking the entire Harsin family. 

In fairness the photo they mocked may have deserved some of it.  If you haven’t seen it look it up.  Leather pants, waaay too much makeup, whore boots, fake boobs, neck beards, and exposed skin are some of the flaws.  But when you have the sports editor of the Tuscaloosa News, Cecil “butt”hurt weighing in with bigoted anti-Mormon comments?  A bridge too far.  Made him look like the redneck, unprofessional, pretentious asshole he is. 

[jmar]

Okay don't know that the boobs are fake but the hair color likely is. The boots are sort of a product of Idaho which is a rodeo hotspot in the US. And one pic had some bearded guy in- between the Harsins that could have possibly passed for Garth Brooks. 
I get that she doesn't possess natural beauty or the dignified look of a Barbara Bush but then who does? 
 

[WiregrassTiger]

While working a rare afternoon I switched over to Finebaum so as to avoid news talk. John Talty who is the al.com "chief" of sports was the guest and of course the first point they established was that Gus had beaten Saban more than any of the other head coaches. Gus had also played for a national championship and had won an SEC title...blah, blah, blah.
Finebaum said that Gus seemed reinvigorated by his new opportunity. That's nice!

I'm fine with Gus accepting a job with a pay cut to strike while the irons are hot.
But I don't care if Gus is a nice guy or that his former players adore him.
He didn't perform to our standards and to accept mediocrity is to admit we don't care about winning championships. What more is there to say? He was substandard!

8 wins isn't 10. It's actually two less than ten. It's very perplexing.

This may be very concerning to you. It is to me. But I agree wholeheartedly with all of this.

Will add that I personally like Gus and always have. No hard feelings from me and wish him the best. Time to move on. I feel much the same about Snags.

[Snaggletiger]

In fairness the photo they mocked may have deserved some of it.  If you haven’t seen it look it up.  Leather pants, waaay too much makeup, whore boots, fake boobs, neck beards, and exposed skin are some of the flaws.  But when you have the sports editor of the Tuscaloosa News, Cecil “butt”hurt weighing in with bigoted anti-Mormon comments?  A bridge too far.  Made him look like the redneck, unprofessional, pretentious asshole he is.

Yeeeah I like my women just a little on the trashy side.  When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.  Too much lipstick and too much rouge, gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused. Yeah I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

[WiregrassTiger]

But....but.....

KRISTI!!!  She is the Most High Mother of Mothers, the Soother of Young Men’s Souls, the Cleanser of Social Media, the Queen of Platonic Hugs, the Goddess of Bubbly Cheer!! 

How will we ever get along without her? I wail in despair, secretly jealous of the love and adoration she will shower on south Florida. 

As a former porn purveyor who once contributed here ominously warned, we will REGRET letting these wonderful people go. 

Ya know, it wasn’t that long ago that the good folks in state media focused on the (enormous) batshit crazy side of her persona.  Now they have moved on to mocking the entire Harsin family.

In fairness the photo they mocked may have deserved some of it.  If you haven’t seen it look it up.  Leather pants, waaay too much makeup, whore boots, fake boobs, neck beards, and exposed skin are some of the flaws.  But when you have the sports editor of the Tuscaloosa News, Cecil “butt”hurt weighing in with bigoted anti-Mormon comments?  A bridge too far.  Made him look like the redneck, unprofessional, pretentious asshole he is.

Our new coach has fake tits?

[jmar]

Yeeeah I like my women just a little on the trashy side.  When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.  Too much lipstick and too much rouge, gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused. Yeah I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

Okay she's not the classic PGA wife but she only needs to inspire Coarch Horsely into the playoffs to win me over. 

[WiregrassTiger]

Okay she's not the classic PGA wife but she only needs to inspire Coarch Horsely into the playoffs to win me over.

It’s a Jerry Jeff song jmar. Humor him. He’s a redneck mother.

[Buzz Killington]

Our new coach has fake tits?

They're real and they're spectacular

[jmar]

It’s a Jerry Jeff song jmar. Humor him. He’s a redneck mother.

I was more concerned about her neck beard and the body odor but then I'm not cozying up to it on a regular basis.
And was that not a Brooks and Dunn tune?

[jmar]

They're real and they're spectacular

Our old coarch had them saggy ones. 

[Buzz Killington]

Our old coarch had them saggy ones.

Just like our new weight training guy

[jmar]

Just like our new weight training guy

That was due to a bad camera angle. They are actually quite peppy.

[Snaggletiger]

I was more concerned about her neck beard and the body odor but then I'm not cozying up to it on a regular basis.
And was that not a Brooks and Dunn tune?

Shoulda seen the looks on the faces of my Dad and Mom
When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom
They said: "Well, pardon us son, she ain't no kid
"That's a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig
I said: "I know it dad, ain't she cool, that's the kind I dig

[WiregrassTiger]

Just like our new weight training guy

The new weight coach guy has much nicer tits. But he’s fat.