Seven To Go..Circling the Drain

[The Six]

@ South Carolina - We should win this, SCar isn't very good and the tables might be turning on Muschamp. I imagine another sloppy win that looks like a loss for half the game. (3-1)

@ Ole Miss - They gonna score a lot but they play no defense whatsoever. Tank runs for 200 and we win. (4-1)

vs. LSU - Who the hell knows? LSU refuses to cover anyone deep. Our line can't hold up for more than a second so the happy feet duck and run QB will hurl quackery into the ether and hoping for the best. Call it a loss because Ed O finds ways to crunch our nuts. (4-2)

@ Mississippi State - They are a dumpster fire of epic proportions. Win. (5-2)

vs. Tennessee - Jeremy Pruitt owns Gus and will skull drag us all day long. Loss. (5-3)

@ Alabama - Najee Harris will secure his Heisman and that punk talking Mighty Mouse posing monkey flop Waddle will whiz all over our faces. Massive Loss of the 49-14 variety; return of the Chiz blowouts. (5-4)

vs. Texas A&M - By then, I expect our guys to care as much as they did against Minnesota in the Bloomin' Onion Bowl with similar results. (5-5)

5 and monkey flipping 5! Whatever. When does basketball season start?

[GH2001]

5-5 may be best case. I’m not sold on beating either miss school. We are as dumpster fire as either of them. If not more.

[Kaos]

5-5 may be best case. I’m not sold on beating either miss school. We are as dumpster fire as either of them. If not more.

You know my position.  

I ask. 

Why is ANYONE surprised?  Malzahn is what we said he was five years ago:  in over his head.  He’s an overpaid high school coach without the resources and contacts to even find an answer to his issues.  He doesn’t know how.  So he keeps doing the same thing and expects different results somehow.  

He may be the greatest recruiter of all time.  How he gets players at the skill positions to sign up willingly to endure his bullshit is beyond me.  And yet somehow he does.  And then he doesn’t have any idea how to fit any of the awesome pieces he has into a cohesive, complete puzzle.  

I didn’t watch a single play of the game yesterday.  It wasn’t worth the angst.  If AU won in a blowout, he would chuckle his happy ass to Waffle House secure that he’d figured it out.  If AU had lost he wouldn’t understand why, would seek out a scapegoat and do nothing to improve the situation.  

Name one single offensive player who has improved significantly while playing at AU in the last decade.  Go ahead. I’ve got a while. 

Name one single offensive assistant who could get a similar job at any other SEC school. 

My dissatisfaction with and disappointment in Auburn extends far beyond the football field.  But the things I see you complaining about are representative of the overall state of everything now.  Our leadership is feckless. We care more about signaling virtue than we do manning up. The entire college has been overrun with weak-kneed social justice warriors spouting ridiculous shit without any understanding of the real world. Auburn (like most colleges now) churns out thousands of “graduates” completely in-prepared for and unable to exist in a real world that demands work and sacrifice.  

Gus personifies all that weakness. 

Please don’t give me the “who would be better” argument.  That makes you sound like a battered woman.  â€œOh, he didn’t mean it.  He will do better next time. He’s really a good guy.  If you just got to know him better. He’s trying!”  And then he punches you in the mouth because that’s what he knows and what he does.  

Gus isn’t the worst coach ever.  He’s in the wrong place at the wrong time.  When he was hired (broken record) he simply didn’t have enough experience running a major program.  And he’s insulated now.  He doesn’t have old friends and people he’s coached with for years.  Saban. He wasn’t a great coach. He worked his way through a number of jobs before he found the perfect situation.  

I walked away from this because I was tired.  Tired of what Auburn was becoming.  Tired of being kicked in the face by Gus.  

I’m not gloating, but I told you hiring Chad Morris was a fucktacular heap of shit.  I’m sick of being right too.  I really am.  

I don’t care if you walk away or not.  Do what you want.  But if you want the monkey to stop fucking you in the ass with a bamboo stalk maybe you have to get out of the cage.  

If you stay there?  You know what you’re going to get. 

[GH2001]

You know my position. 

I ask.

Why is ANYONE surprised?  Malzahn is what we said he was five years ago:  in over his head.  He’s an overpaid high school coach without the resources and contacts to even find an answer to his issues.  He doesn’t know how.  So he keeps doing the same thing and expects different results somehow. 

He may be the greatest recruiter of all time.  How he gets players at the skill positions to sign up willingly to endure his bullshit is beyond me.  And yet somehow he does.  And then he doesn’t have any idea how to fit any of the awesome pieces he has into a cohesive, complete puzzle. 

I didn’t watch a single play of the game yesterday.  It wasn’t worth the angst.  If AU won in a blowout, he would chuckle his happy ass to Waffle House secure that he’d figured it out.  If AU had lost he wouldn’t understand why, would seek out a scapegoat and do nothing to improve the situation. 

Name one single offensive player who has improved significantly while playing at AU in the last decade.  Go ahead. I’ve got a while.

Name one single offensive assistant who could get a similar job at any other SEC school.

My dissatisfaction with and disappointment in Auburn extends far beyond the football field.  But the things I see you complaining about are representative of the overall state of everything now.  Our leadership is feckless. We care more about signaling virtue than we do manning up. The entire college has been overrun with weak-kneed social justice warriors spouting ridiculous shit without any understanding of the real world. Auburn (like most colleges now) churns out thousands of “graduates” completely in-prepared for and unable to exist in a real world that demands work and sacrifice. 

Gus personifies all that weakness.

Please don’t give me the “who would be better” argument.  That makes you sound like a battered woman.  “Oh, he didn’t mean it.  He will do better next time. He’s really a good guy.  If you just got to know him better. He’s trying!”  And then he punches you in the mouth because that’s what he knows and what he does. 

Gus isn’t the worst coach ever.  He’s in the wrong place at the wrong time.  When he was hired (broken record) he simply didn’t have enough experience running a major program.  And he’s insulated now.  He doesn’t have old friends and people he’s coached with for years.  Saban. He wasn’t a great coach. He worked his way through a number of jobs before he found the perfect situation. 

I walked away from this because I was tired.  Tired of what Auburn was becoming.  Tired of being kicked in the face by Gus. 

I’m not gloating, but I told you hiring Chad Morris was a fucktacular heap of shit.  I’m sick of being right too.  I really am. 

I don’t care if you walk away or not.  Do what you want.  But if you want the monkey to stop fucking you in the ass with a bamboo stalk maybe you have to get out of the cage. 

If you stay there?  You know what you’re going to get.

Assuming the "you" in this writeup is symbolic of those in the fan base who still believe because preaching to the choir would be an understatement with me. 

[Snaggletiger]

I'm not exaggerating in any way when I say I don't see a win left on our schedule.  Maybe Miss. State if they continue in this direction.  Kentucky beat us for a half.  Georgia beat our ass into submission last week and Arkansas took that game over in the second quarter, and save for a horrible play by Nix and an even worse call by the refs, won that game. 

I know it was raining, but have you ever seen a slower defense than what we put on the field Saturday?  And absolutely gassed by midway through the 3rd quarter. 

Note to Mr. Steele:  Every team in the country knows.  I know.  All my friends know. (Both of them)  I believe everyone on this board knows.  Even small children in remote towns in Alaska know, if it's 3rd and 7 or more, you will blitz every....single....time.  Not just this past Saturday.  Every....single....game. My God, I hope you're smarter than that.  Apparently not. Oh look, it's 3rd and 8.  Here comes the blitz.....and there goes the back slipping out just across the line of scrimmage. And there's a little pass to him....and there's 14 yards and a first down.  It's like Shawshank Redemption for me.  I've seen this movie 100 times.

   

[wesfau2]

I'm not exaggerating in any way when I say I don't see a win left on our schedule.  Maybe Miss. State if they continue in this direction.  Kentucky beat us for a half.  Georgia beat our ass into submission last week and Arkansas took that game over in the second quarter, and save for a horrible play by Nix and an even worse call by the refs, won that game.

I know it was raining, but have you ever seen a slower defense than what we put on the field Saturday?  And absolutely gassed by midway through the 3rd quarter.

Note to Mr. Steele:  Every team in the country knows.  I know.  All my friends know. (Both of them)  I believe everyone on this board knows.  Even small children in remote towns in Alaska know, if it's 3rd and 7 or more, you will blitz every....single....time.  Not just this past Saturday.  Every....single....game. My God, I hope you're smarter than that.  Apparently not. Oh look, it's 3rd and 8.  Here comes the blitz.....and there goes the back slipping out just across the line of scrimmage. And there's a little pass to him....and there's 14 yards and a first down.  It's like Shawshank Redemption for me.  I've seen this movie 100 times.

 

That's nothing new for Steele, though.  That's been the story on him his entire career, pretty much.  So...why isn't it working now?  I presume it's because the O isn't doing its job to spell the D and those 3rd and long situations start to pile up.

[The Six]

That's nothing new for Steele, though.  That's been the story on him his entire career, pretty much.  So...why isn't it working now?  I presume it's because the O isn't doing its job to spell the D and those 3rd and long situations start to pile up.

Yep, it's all connected and it all starts with the horrific offensive line. Nick Brahams is looking to block people that aren't there. The rest of the line couldn't block four grandmothers in a wind storm. QB is not trusted to audible and the play calls are all the same ole same ole situation, same ole, same ole ball and chain.

[AUJarhead]

I'm not exaggerating in any way when I say I don't see a win left on our schedule.  

We will beat USC this weekend.  And if we don't, I'll let GF choose Buzz's new avatar.

[Saniflush]

We will beat USC this weekend.  And if we don't, I'll let GF choose Buzz's new avatar.

He should also have to eat a hat

[Buzz Killington]

He should also have to eat a hat

A Pat Dye cap?

[Kaos]

This is a re-run.  I already saw this episode.  I think it first aired in 2015 and like Law&Order has been airing almost continuously since.  

[Buzz Killington]

As for my prediction:

I see , 2 maybe 3 wins left on the schedule.

Souf Cackalacky is trending down faster than the Gus Bus.  If Tank can run like he did on Saturday, then we should be able to hold them off.  Hopefully, anyway.  W (3-1)

Ole Miss may score a hunnit on this abomination of a defense.  I just don't see this offense keeping pace with them either...no matter how bad a Freshwater defense may be.  Just hope Joey doesn't steal our signals too.  L  (3-2)

LSU may be worse off than us on defense and they have virtually no running game so far.  So, I fully expect them to average 8 yards a carry in this one.  Gus pulls the horseshoe from his ass and uses it somehow and we pull out a controversial win.  W  (4-2)

Mississippi State looked like world beaters against LSU.  Since then they resemble baloney boppers.  Expect them to throw for 500+ on this defense though.  And their defense will hold this juggernaut in check just enough to get the pups a win.  L  (4-3)

Tennessee will boat race us.  It won't be close after the opening kickoff.  L  (4-4)

Mac and cheese will burn this defense more times than Kraft can put out those little packets of cheese powder in a week in this one.  We will be hanging on for our lives late in the 4th to keep them from hitting the century mark.  L  91-9  (4-5)

aTm...I got nothing, except that they might be reeling as bad as we are by this point.  Somehow Bo
authors a multi-touchdown comeback to get a win at the end of a miserable season.  W  (5-5)

Gus then declares that the team played their guts out all season and that the future is bright on the Plains.

[AUJarhead]

I think we beat USC, and split the Miss schools.  Lose the rest.  4-6.

And yes, Gus should beat the worst LSU team since DiNardo roamed the sidelines.  We won't.  Why?  Does anyone on this board trust Gus/Chad in a shootout?

[Snaggletiger]

I think we beat USC, and split the Miss schools.  Lose the rest.  4-6.

And yes, Gus should beat the worst LSU team since DiNardo roamed the sidelines.  We won't.  Why?  Does anyone on this board trust Gus/Chad in a shootout?

Absolutely not, which is why Ole Miss may skull frick us.  Yes, the Black Rebels are giving up ass loads of points.  They're also putting 42 points a game on the board against defenses that include Florida and Alabama.  Not that they're exactly juggernaut D's this year either.  Against our D?  Holy mother of gawd! 

[The Six]

Ole Miss may score a hunnit on this abomination of a defense.  I just don't see this offense keeping pace with them either...no matter how bad a Freshwater defense may be.  Just hope Joey doesn't steal our signals too.  L  (3-2)

One monitor is now owed to me.

Also, I clicked the like button several times. I hope you received the treat.

[Buzz Killington]

One monitor is now owed to me.

Also, I clicked the like button several times. I hope you received the treat.

Oh I felt it...you click hard.  Wait, what?

[The Six]

Oh I felt it...you click hard.  Wait, what?

I just fell over my dancing midget lady and spilled my Meade!

[AUTiger1]

I don't see a for sure win, but I do see some for sure loses.  Bama, A&M, UT, & Ole Miss will murk us.  I mean pull out the shank and bludgeon us to death.  

I am not expecting a win this week against the Fighting Muschamps.  They hung with 2 good teams and had a chance to beat UT.  They stomped Vandy like they should.  Can we score 41 on Vandy?  I doubt it.   The last two games have looked at lot like the same ole O that we have seen for years now.  I don't know that Gus has taken over the play calling, but if Chad is calling the plays he is using Gus's playbook.

Miss St.  If for some reason their O is hot that day, I can't see us keeping up.  We can't win a shoot out and I fear that is what that game is going to be.

LSU will probably find their running game before they play us.  Even if they don't, I still don't know that we can beat them.

3-6 is what I predict.  We will win one more and that is it.  And I honestly don't think we win it as much as it will be us getting lucky.  Is 3-6 enough to get Gus gone?  I was talking the guy that owns Which-Which in Auburn and he was telling me that a lot of the business owners are pissed.  They are losing revenue because of COVID, but they are also losing revenue because the football team sucks.   What can they come up with and how much influence do they have?  I have no clue.

[GH2001]

I don't see a for sure win, but I do see some for sure loses.  Bama, A&M, UT, & Ole Miss will murk us.  I mean pull out the shank and bludgeon us to death. 

I am not expecting a win this week against the Fighting Muschamps.  They hung with 2 good teams and had a chance to beat UT.  They stomped Vandy like they should.  Can we score 41 on Vandy?  I doubt it.  The last two games have looked at lot like the same ole O that we have seen for years now.  I don't know that Gus has taken over the play calling, but if Chad is calling the plays he is using Gus's playbook.

Miss St.  If for some reason their O is hot that day, I can't see us keeping up.  We can't win a shoot out and I fear that is what that game is going to be.

LSU will probably find their running game before they play us.  Even if they don't, I still don't know that we can beat them.

3-6 is what I predict.  We will win one more and that is it.  And I honestly don't think we win it as much as it will be us getting lucky.  Is 3-6 enough to get Gus gone?  I was talking the guy that owns Which-Which in Auburn and he was telling me that a lot of the business owners are pissed.  They are losing revenue because of COVID, but they are also losing revenue because the football team sucks.  What can they come up with and how much influence do they have?  I have no clue.

3 or 4 wins may be enough to get a booster to pony it up. 

[Buzz Killington]

I don't see a for sure win, but I do see some for sure loses.  Bama, A&M, UT, & Ole Miss will murk us.  I mean pull out the shank and bludgeon us to death. 

I am not expecting a win this week against the Fighting Muschamps.  They hung with 2 good teams and had a chance to beat UT.  They stomped Vandy like they should.  Can we score 41 on Vandy?  I doubt it.  The last two games have looked at lot like the same ole O that we have seen for years now.  I don't know that Gus has taken over the play calling, but if Chad is calling the plays he is using Gus's playbook.

Miss St.  If for some reason their O is hot that day, I can't see us keeping up.  We can't win a shoot out and I fear that is what that game is going to be.

LSU will probably find their running game before they play us.  Even if they don't, I still don't know that we can beat them.

3-6 is what I predict.  We will win one more and that is it.  And I honestly don't think we win it as much as it will be us getting lucky.  Is 3-6 enough to get Gus gone?  I was talking the guy that owns Which-Which in Auburn and he was telling me that a lot of the business owners are pissed.  They are losing revenue because of COVID, but they are also losing revenue because the football team sucks.  What can they come up with and how much influence do they have?  I have no clue.

Doubtful this year, unless he goes 2-10 and is caught in the showers with the entire cheerleading squad.