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Coming soon to a theater or park near you

Buzz Killington

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Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« on: May 13, 2020, 02:07:32 PM »
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

dallaswareagle

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2020, 02:28:04 PM »

Damn it, I thought he was doing a re-make of the Hall and Oates song. 
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Kaos

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2020, 03:27:17 PM »
Never been a huge fan of James'.  I thought the Blartt movies (particularly the second one) were insufferable and I found no humor whatsoever in the Grownups franchise.  Never watched his show(s) even though I'd like to take Leah Remini out behind some barn and fornicate with her repeatedly.  

But that?  That was awesome. 
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2020, 04:12:00 PM »
Made me laugh at first but then I realized the snowflakes would actually do this.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Kaos

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2020, 05:31:44 PM »
Made me laugh at first but then I realized the snowflakes would actually do this.
Dude.  I'm not wearing a fucking mask.  I'm just not.  This shit doesn't even exist (in the form we've been told it does).  Wearing a mask is pointless.  

So I'm in the grocery store yesterday.  No mask.  And I'm getting death stares from the moron class that IS wearing them.  Granted most of them have the damn things on their chin, or under their nose where it does LESS than zero good, but still.  Granted there are mothers half-ass wearing them while their kids lick the handles of the buggies. But no matter. THEY are Americans!  THEY are patriots! THEY are keeping this country safe. I'm the virus-breeding pariah who has no respect for humanity.  Stage whispers "...can't believe people are out here without masks on, making everybody sick..."  

I'm not the kind to spit on food, lick ice cream or shit on the windshield of cars but it made me want to cough, hack and sneeze in every one of their faces.  

I wanted to jump up on top of a store display and dare any of those fuckers to name one person they know personally who has the (fake) virus, knowing that I'd be met with nothing but blank stares or averted eyes.  

Fuck all those people.  Fuck their ignorant children, their stupid dogs, their moronic cats, their incestuous cousins and their whole damned family.  

I dare one of those son of a bitches to call the Virus Police on me.  
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2020, 05:37:34 PM »
Dude.  I'm not wearing a fucking mask.  I'm just not.  This shit doesn't even exist (in the form we've been told it does).  Wearing a mask is pointless. 

So I'm in the grocery store yesterday.  No mask.  And I'm getting death stares from the moron class that IS wearing them.  Granted most of them have the damn things on their chin, or under their nose where it does LESS than zero good, but still.  Granted there are mothers half-ass wearing them while their kids lick the handles of the buggies. But no matter. THEY are Americans!  THEY are patriots! THEY are keeping this country safe. I'm the virus-breeding pariah who has no respect for humanity.  Stage whispers "...can't believe people are out here without masks on, making everybody sick..." 

I'm not the kind to spit on food, lick ice cream or shit on the windshield of cars but it made me want to cough, hack and sneeze in every one of their faces. 

I wanted to jump up on top of a store display and dare any of those fuckers to name one person they know personally who has the (fake) virus, knowing that I'd be met with nothing but blank stares or averted eyes. 

Fuck all those people.  Fuck their ignorant children, their stupid dogs, their moronic cats, their incestuous cousins and their whole damned family. 

I dare one of those son of a bitches to call the Virus Police on me. 
I missed you the most. 
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Saniflush

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2020, 09:40:39 AM »
Dude.  I'm not wearing a fucking mask.  I'm just not.  This shit doesn't even exist (in the form we've been told it does).  Wearing a mask is pointless. 

So I'm in the grocery store yesterday.  No mask.  And I'm getting death stares from the moron class that IS wearing them.  Granted most of them have the damn things on their chin, or under their nose where it does LESS than zero good, but still.  Granted there are mothers half-ass wearing them while their kids lick the handles of the buggies. But no matter. THEY are Americans!  THEY are patriots! THEY are keeping this country safe. I'm the virus-breeding pariah who has no respect for humanity.  Stage whispers "...can't believe people are out here without masks on, making everybody sick..." 

I'm not the kind to spit on food, lick ice cream or shit on the windshield of cars but it made me want to cough, hack and sneeze in every one of their faces. 

I wanted to jump up on top of a store display and dare any of those fuckers to name one person they know personally who has the (fake) virus, knowing that I'd be met with nothing but blank stares or averted eyes. 

Fuck all those people.  Fuck their ignorant children, their stupid dogs, their moronic cats, their incestuous cousins and their whole damned family. 

I dare one of those son of a bitches to call the Virus Police on me. 
My body my choice is what I have been saying.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

wesfau2

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2020, 09:57:19 AM »
Never been a huge fan of James'.  I thought the Blartt movies (particularly the second one) were insufferable and I found no humor whatsoever in the Grownups franchise.  Never watched his show(s) even though I'd like to take Leah Remini out behind some barn and fornicate with her repeatedly. 

But that?  That was awesome.
Hyyyyyyyyyylarious.

You're on record (ad nauseum) around here as dropping like a hot potato any celeb with a progressive bent who dares utter a sound byte.  Great actors have been left in the cold because you just couldn't bear to hear them spout an opinion.  But the dumbest of dumbshit comics says something you agree with and...

You really are embracing some serious bammer vibes in the last few years.

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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Kaos

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2020, 12:48:46 PM »
Hyyyyyyyyyylarious.

You're on record (ad nauseum) around here as dropping like a hot potato any celeb with a progressive bent who dares utter a sound byte.  Great actors have been left in the cold because you just couldn't bear to hear them spout an opinion.  But the dumbest of dumbshit comics says something you agree with and...

You really are embracing some serious bammer vibes in the last few years.
This wasn't an opinion.  It was a skit. Don't recall him actually offering any political opinions.  Those who do (stridently) like Jim Carey or Cow Rosie can die of double dick rot for all I care.  Fuck them. 

This short little film?  I found it amusing because it captured an idea that makes sense to me without berating me or anyone else with some bullshit political drivel.  

The rest of his work?  Don't care much for it because as a rule, it's not funny. You are, though. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2020, 04:35:50 PM »
Hyyyyyyyyyylarious.

You're on record (ad nauseum) around here as dropping like a hot potato any celeb with a progressive bent who dares utter a sound byte.  Great actors have been left in the cold because you just couldn't bear to hear them spout an opinion.  But the dumbest of dumbshit comics says something you agree with and...

You really are embracing some serious bammer vibes in the last few years.
Let’s not overstate how humorous this is. It’s good but it’s obviously not anywhere close to your High IQ stuff. Except, maybe to some of the dumbass crowd on here.

But on a serious note, I saw at today’s presser where Fauci and Birx agreed that one of the best measures that one could do at present, to protect against the Covid, is to gargle with dicks.

You should be golden.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2020, 04:37:42 PM »
I missed you the most.
Must be some great sex. I’m happy for you two. I really am.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2020, 04:49:09 PM »
Must be some great sex. I’m happy for you two. I really am.
Jealousy is very unbecoming of you. 
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Snaggletiger

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #12 on: May 14, 2020, 05:00:18 PM »
Jealousy is very unbecoming of you.
I've been meaning to ask you, how are the twins?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

dallaswareagle

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2020, 05:06:42 PM »
I've been meaning to ask you, how are the twins?
Reduced.  Let's just say they are much more perky now. 
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Snaggletiger

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2020, 05:28:11 PM »
Reduced.  Let's just say they are much more perky now.
Mmmm....perky.

Anne Hathaway's VERY perky bust line inspires Twitter mania ...
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #15 on: May 15, 2020, 09:37:47 AM »
Reduced.  Let's just say they are much more perky now.
As if this is needed. Pics or it didn’t happen.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2020, 02:33:10 PM »
As if this is needed. Pics or it didn’t happen.
For the best comparison we will have to take the same pic, Vacation plans are in a holding pattern until such time as the Gubment decides we can be grown up again. 
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Kaos

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #17 on: May 18, 2020, 02:38:21 PM »
For the best comparison we will have to take the same pic, Vacation plans are in a holding pattern until such time as the Gubment decides we can be grown up again.
The government doesn't decide.  Fuckci said it over the weekend.  

The VIRUS decides.  

Idiot. 
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Coming soon to a theater or park near you
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2020, 02:53:35 PM »
 government

 VIRUS 


One in the same. 
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Kaos

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