Nancy Pelosi announces investigation into size and odor of shit Donald Trump took yesterday morning. Concerned that there may be Brazil nuts embedded in the turd, proving Trump's collusion with the Portuguese nation.
The odor was said to have sickened one Secret Service member stationed outside the Presidential throne. Adam Schiff stated that Trump would be thoroughly investigated for any EPA violations related to the passage of noxious and deadly fumes.
Apparently Trump devoured both a Big Mac and a Quarter Pounder prior to taking said shit. A third Congressional Committee will investigate Trump for promoting slave labor since the workers who took his order are paid less than $15 an hour.
A fourth investigation will attempt to determine how Trump's affinity for fast food has positively impacted the image of Ronald McDonald, a known clown. Jerry Nadler is leading this charge since his troll-like appearance is thought to be less intimidating to the clown community.
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