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I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...

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I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« on: August 13, 2019, 08:52:46 AM »
Georgia Southern quarterback Shai Werts needs a new alibi.

One of the Eagles' top players, credited with leading last season's turnaround from two wins to 10, has been suspended indefinitely from team activities after a routine traffic stop for speeding this week in Saluda, S.C. resulted in a drug possession charge.

Werts reportedly called the police from his car and requested to pull over in a more well-lit area. After doing so, Werts claimed a white substance on the hood of his car was bird excrement.

Werts stated it was bird poop that he tried to clean at the beginning of the week at the local car wash.

"Everything about him and inside his vehicle made him appear as a clean person but the hood of his car was out of place," the report states.

Werts denied knowledge of origin of the cocaine, according to the report. The powder appeared to have been "thrown on the vehicle and had been attempted to be washed off by the windshield wipers, and wiper fluid as there was white powder substance around the areas of the wiper fluid dispensary," the officer wrote.

The officer said the substance did test positive with two kits in two different places on the hood of the car.

So Werts was kicked off the team based on the arrest...but wait.

As it turns out, the only substance the 21-year-old was in possession of was a bit of bird poop on the hood of his car.

Charges were dropped on Thursday, according to ESPN, but not before Werts completed two days of his indefinite suspension from football for the arrest. He returned to practice on Sunday.

“I have worked with Shai on a daily basis for three years, and these charges do not reflect the young man I have come to know,” athletic director Tom Kleinlein said in a statement.

So my question is  who took that birds cocaine?

https://twitter.com/JacquesDoucet/status/1160399335798054912?s=20
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Buzz Killington

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2019, 09:11:38 AM »
So, this country's drug problem has gotten so bad that it has spread to the pigeons?  Lord help us.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2019, 09:20:53 AM »
So, this country's drug problem has gotten so bad that it has spread to the pigeons?  Lord help us.
Illegal immigrant pigeons flying coke across the border.  
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2019, 09:33:35 AM »
Illegal immigrant pigeons flying coke across the border. 
Stupid open borders
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2019, 09:53:45 AM »
You know it’s bad when the birds have traded in coconuts for coke. 
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Buzz Killington

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2019, 10:02:25 AM »
You know it’s bad when the birds have traded in coconuts for coke.
African or European?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2019, 10:32:16 AM »
African or European?
Well, you have to know these things when you're a king fredo, you know.
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Saniflush

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2019, 11:38:30 AM »
Well, you have to know these things when you're a king fredo, you know.
I didn't even know that was a bad word?  I guess me calling my buddy from the corps a "dirty fucking WOP" is right out now?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Buzz Killington

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2019, 11:46:02 AM »
I didn't even know that was a bad word?  I guess me calling my buddy from the corps a "dirty fudgeing WOP" is right out now?
Naah, that's cool.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

wesfau2

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2019, 11:52:59 AM »
African or European?
Are you suggesting that cocaine migrates?
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
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And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2019, 11:55:47 AM »
Are you suggesting that cocaine migrates?
Yes, from the hooker's ass to Sani's nose.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2019, 11:59:03 AM »
Are you suggesting that cocaine migrates?
Not at all.  It could be carried
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2019, 01:10:11 PM »
Yes, from the hooker's ass to Sani's nose.
Just a little taste to wet the beak
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

GH2001

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Re: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing bird poop...
« Reply #13 on: August 15, 2019, 09:15:43 AM »
Sorry that cop is a douche. 

Oh and this....:bugs:


Quote
Look man, I dunno about you, but I always keep my cocaine on the hood of my car where it won’t get wet or blow away.

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