I cringed, to say the least. You just can't make up this kind of shit.
A rogue seagull ripped off a man’s right testicle as he sunbathed naked in his back garden, it has emerged.
Experts say the fearsome bird mistook the man’s exposed privates as a couple of birds eggs and dropped in for a tasty snack.
As the man – who has not been named – dozed on his patio in his detached home near Ipswich, the seagull swooped from the sky, and with one bite of its beak ripped away the right testicle.
In gripping scenes that could have been written by a copywriter, he woke screaming in agony and saw the bird flying away with one of his ‘crown jewels’ wedged in its yellow beak.
His wife called an ambulance, and staff at Ipswich Hospital’s accident and emergency department had to patch him up, and give him a course of antibiotics to prevent infection.
A hospital source said: “Nobody could quite believe it when the poor chap was brought in.
There was a lot of blood and he was in agony, but he will feel better in a few weeks.
“The injury is not life-threatening, and tests have confirmed that his remaining testicle is still in working order, so he will be able to have children.â€
Hell, children would be the least of my concerns. I want back my testicle.
https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/seagull-testicle/?fbclid=IwAR03cE_DesHaLfL2KKNGlm_4hW0b7fz6zhBVS420pI38NjhslCTZSp2ykSg
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